DavidUK- you have done extremely well, and stood up for yourself and your family and you are a wonderful father and I am sure you were a brilliant husband to your W. It must be very emotional at this time as you have no idea what is going to happen and you worry a lot about the future. But I would say the same thing as Benito-that to keep worrying and thinking about what your W is going to do is completely pointless and wasted energy. You have repeated many times in this forum that you don't trust your W or ILs. You may or may not be served D papers, but in reality none of us have any idea what will or will not happen tomorrow, it is totally out of our control. I know what I am talking about because I lost my younger brother 7 years ago in an accident... nobody saw that coming. We get that you don't trust your W. You keep repeating that by writing on this forum and I am sure you say that to yourself many times over and over.. cheeseless tunnels. It doesn't do anything. Focus on yourself and ask yourself- what could be the best thing you could today for DavidUK to make him feel good about his life right now regardless of what other people do or don't do. Personally, I made a special list for myself in my notebook to remind myself of about 20 fun things I love to do- to me it is to have a facial, calling a friend, taking a bath, taking the dog for a walk, play the piano, read this forum, work on my business, read inspirational quotes, put a make up on, buy a new dress etc. I realise that for men this list would look entirely different though
W34 H61 M1 T3 June-H said he wants divorce but hasn't filed. Living and sleeping in the same bed, no intimacy from H side for last 12 months.
I'm getting better... no R talk, not asking questions about what W is doing, saying less, and my smiles are genuine because I enjoyed going out with the kids.
Kids said that MIL has been complaining that she doesn't really want to live in the local area and MIL would rather be back at their main house far away. MIL is doing all the cooking, childcare etc. W isn't doing anything at the house to help her.
Wife came to collect the kids. She said "I won't come into the house... I'll do some emails in the car... I'll ummmmm then come into the house". I didn't say anything. W then asked if she could come into the house. I said it was up to her as legally I can't stop her as she's allowed. W came into the house and told the kids to take their time.
W said MIL had made food for them and it was ready and waiting. Kids complained about what MIL was cooking. I then made some food for the kids and W said she agreed with me doing so (even if her mother wouldn't be happy about it). I didn't offer a drink to W as I knew she'd refuse it anyway. W stayed for about an hour.
W and IL are taking the kids away for over a week to visit relatives. W said she would call during the week and then again when they get back even if it's late at night. I said there was no need and that I hoped the kids would have a good time.
How does your W react when you mention legal stuff David? Are you still in the matrimonial home?
Yes, I'm still in the M home. W left and took the kids.
I know she took M cert when she left 2.5 months ago and gave it to her L. W said we could go to mediation and she said it in a very threatening way but she hasn't yet started it. A reason could be that I have a very good chance of having custody of the kids.
4 weeks ago we spent hours together at an event, W mentioned to me that she wanted D and "a clean break" but hadn't wanted to say yet as it would hurt me. She then took her stuff from the house. The kids then told me that W wanted the M home to be sold.
W is now away with kids and IL until next Sunday so I'm expecting D papers to be served any day as you get a week to reply to them and I think she will want to be away when it happens. If not, then I'm expecting papers to be served when W has finished hiding her money from a D (and according to W she's getting through it quickly).
If she serves you will have 5 weeks to decide. It is usual for the petitioner to present a draft to the respondent first before filing. Otherwise you could be looking at all kinds of nasty and exaggerated lies painting you as a terrible person. That is what I am expecting.
I received my draft petition about two weeks. My solicitor said it was one of the most mildly worded she’d ever seen, but it was still full of downright lies and exaggerations. But from what I understand it is incredibly costly to contest- thechal who recently successfully had his wife’s petition thrown out of court was a millionaire, which I’m sadly not.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
I'm having a bad day today. I am already missing W and kids and won't see them again for more than a week. They have gone where I had been planning to take the kids and will be having a great time without me.
I still hope a lot that we can get back together but under the circumstances I shouldn't have any hope.
I feel your pain David - my W has been away for a week with our kids, on the family holiday we booked three months ago. They aren’t back for another six days and she is moving out next Saturday. My first wife was tragically killed 14 yrs ago and in all honesty the pain I’m feeling now it worse because of the hurt, anxiety, unanswered questions , plain nastiness and lack of sympathy from W
The only thing keeping me in any way together is exevrcising - so I’m going on a long bike ride now. Stay strong
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
