If your wife is taking the children abroad she will be breaking UK law if she does so without your written consent- it’s a criminal offence. I had to send my wife’s solicitor my written permission, which initially I was reluctant to agree to as the holiday was meant to be for us as a family. I realised that it would affect the kids if they didn’t go. So much as I wanted to say “no” from an emotional perspective, I let it go.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
Benito, I saw your message - thanks it stopped me. It is just that I don't yet feel prepared to start talking about D details with legal people as I'm still dealing with the shock of the split.
M-i-L dropped off the kids and she gave me a massive hug for ages. This is from a woman who has wanted W & I to split-up for 25 years and now lives with W. Perhaps she realises that it's now all over and/or thinks W has OM and has sympathy or perhaps she knows that I know she has helped W to hide money. I don't know, but for her to hug me like that was a lot different. I think it means the end.
I'm guessing D papers will arrive by next Friday when they go away for a week.
W will be here again dropping of the kids off first thing in the morning.
Hi Benito, I started eating healthier well before W left so was losing weight but I've certainly done it much faster in last 2 months since she left as I now walk to a shop and buy fresh ingredients every day. I suppose that has become a part of my GAL. I enjoy it and I talk to other people walking.
W would probably think that me walking to the shop is a 180. She's asked a few times about it.
Just got a call... kids are due to arrive 1.5 hours later than planned. I was going to take them out for breakfast for the first time on my own, so I'm not happy about that. Kids said yesterday that W and in-laws are "totally disorganised". For little kids to be saying that says it all. I'm getting fed up of it.
Some good news... today I've got below my target weight. I've lost 31 lbs in just under 2 months.
Yeah, no kidding. I've dropped 71 in less than 3 months myself. Doc didn't seemed concerned, so I'm just rolling with it. Stay strong and take care of yourself.
Me: Late 30s WW: Late 30s M: 12 S: 7 BD: Late April '18 (Wife left next day) OM confirmed: July '18 (20+ years older)
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. - Psalms 34:18
I know there are many reasons we post on the message boards while going through this process. My main assumption is you want advise on how to save your marriage. This is where my advise is focused, saving your marriage.
Almost everything that I have seen work for others is COUNTER intuitive to the person going through it.
Pursuing your W will backfire. Intuitively you believe this will work. (if I am wrong, please correct me).
"Setting her free" is the solution.
It is time to "Man up". I can elaborate on this term if you would like, just ask.
Women love to test men. This is the biggest test of your life. We want you to pass with an A.
Regards,
R2C
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Benito, I saw your message - thanks it stopped me. It is just that I don't yet feel prepared to start talking about D details with legal people as I'm still dealing with the shock of the split.
I think this is a big mistake. Frankly, knowledge is power. Talking to the legal team will help you understand your rights./ And what rights you are giving up by continuing on your current path. I think you should be talking to a lawyer ASAP.
Originally Posted by DavidUK
M-i-L dropped off the kids and she gave me a massive hug for ages. This is from a woman who has wanted W & I to split-up for 25 years and now lives with W. Perhaps she realises that it's now all over and/or thinks W has OM and has sympathy or perhaps she knows that I know she has helped W to hide money. I don't know, but for her to hug me like that was a lot different. I think it means the end.
I'm guessing D papers will arrive by next Friday when they go away for a week.
W will be here again dropping of the kids off first thing in the morning.
How can you stop trying to guess and hypothesize and analyze and speculate? It is such a waste of energy. WHO KNOWS what it meant. Maybe MIL was sad. Maybe she misses you. Maybe her cat died. Maybe she is worried about gun safety in your neighborhood and is glad youre safe. Who knows? As for D papers...theyll come when they come. Why spend weeks on edge waiting for them.
You need to focus on you and your life and your kids and GAL and what YOU CAN CONTROL.
