It's been awhile since I posted here, I've been spending my time in the post divorce forum, which fits my life now, where I'm at.. Fact is my life is sooo much better than it was the last few years of my M, but that's because I've grown, I've become better. But I'm posting here because I had a moment, I don't think of my old life much, I don't miss being M to ex or spending time with her, but I had a moment yesterday where thoughts of missing out on my sons (step son for those who don't know my sitch) senior year, homecoming, prom, etc.. I gave up my opportunity to have children of my own by staying with ex (she was sterile), but I was more than happy raising the son I did have, but then BD just as he was finishing up junior year in high school. It got to me yesterday, a couple of weeks after he visited, and I let her know she had no right or reason to do what she did, no right to tear me away from my son.. Over two years from BD, there still is no sign of guilt.
I didn't intend to move away from him, but he was a teen who was more interested in being with friends than dad.. Add to that, I worked with ex that made everyday miserable and "running into OM in my neighborhood" and realizing I came very close to ending up in jail.. With that I decided to go, I looked for and found a job in NC, a place I've wanted to move to for 20 years. Life is good, great even, I really enjoy where I'm at and what I'm doing. I'm surrounded by new friends, visit old friends back home (and many visit me here), I dont have a problem finding dates when feel like going out, things are really good. I haven't found love, but I think that may be my own doing, I keep most people at a distance that I feel comfy with, and the very few I've wanted to get closer with have kept me at a distance, we just didn't click.
My point is, there is happiness at the end of this road, it's not sprinkles and rainbow farts, but if you DB, life can be full again... Life doesn't have to be perfect, but you do have to live it for it to be worth it. Things may work out with your S, or maybe they won't, just know that either way, you need to live the life you have to the fullest.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Past is in the past Coco. Get rid of that hard feelings against xw. It�s not healthy for you.You have your own R with your son. Your xw is travelling the selfish route that wws choose. You have told us that it has affected xw-son relation too, so ... But you are there for your son, no matter the distance in between. Of course it is hard but it is what it is now. Your son is becoming an adult now, he knows where you stand.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
hello, Coconut... i want to encourage you to not let your relationship with your son fall away... i have two sons--22 and 17 almost 18... my oldest son became a bit distant with me during his 18/19 - 21 years of age... but literally, since his 21st birthday, he has let me back in and we are closer than ever... maybe because for his 21st birthday he and i shared cognac and cigars--something i had told him we would do once he turned 21 (i had first made that promise to him when he was about 12)... whatever the case, there were times when i felt left out of my son's life during those transitioning-into-an-adult years, but i remained steadfast and consistent in his life, and he has let me back in, and it's beautiful... mis dos centavos...
Hey Cnut, good to hear from you and glad things are going well! That's a shame about your S, are you at least able to stay in touch with him via text or email? Maybe as he matures he'll want to reconnect with you. Good luck!
I did not mean to imply that my son and I aren't close, I speak to him pretty regularly, I've flown him up here 3 times in the year and 5 months I've been here and I've gone down to visit him in FL about 10 times. We are close, when he was up here for July 4th, he told me that he feels closer to me and my side of the family than anyone else, so our R is not what I was upset about.
What I meant was I didn't get to go to all of his wrestling meets in his senior year (I went to 3 but missed districts and regionals), I didn't get to see him dressed up in his tux heading to prom, I lost a year and a half of saying good morning and good night in person, you know, cheesy stuff like that. My family gets together often and when I see the pics on facebook he is often present, it's those types of moments that I was feeling angry at having missed. Yes I realize that I chose to move away, so you don't need to remind me of that, but honestly in the overall picture it was the best thing I could have done with the situation that I was put in.
These feelings are rare, I really haven't felt down about anything regarding my D in a LONG time, but it hit me the other day. But hey, one bad day in at least 6 months isn't bad
Last edited by Coconut; 07/24/1803:26 PM.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Alienation of Affections.. I heard of it for the first time today on the radio, a man in NC (one of the few states that allows it) sued his wife's affair partner for coming between him and his wife's affection.. He was awarded 9 million dollars
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
