LOL.....ok I will think of a new name. I will call her Highlander. Unfortunately there is not much spark left, the hope is almost gone and vanished. I just feel that there has been so much damage done that it would be almost impossible to recover.
On a side note I do have to text Highlander this afternoon to confirm our date for tomorrow night. I was thinking about a local comedy club and dinner after. First dates always seem a little awkward so hopefully this time I can get a true gauge on how I feel.
I am going to give it one more date and see how I feel. I don’t think I am committed after two dates but I agree I don’t want to settle if I am really not feeling it.
In my opinion, you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Why do you have to feel committed after 2 dates let alone 15. Take your time and date around, even date multiple women at the same time if you like. You just got out of a long marriage and there is no need to hurry and jump into another relationship. She is a widow and is currently single, I'm sure you are not her first date so dont worry about getting serious, just enjoy the new friendship and maybe it will turn into something more maybe it wont. I guess what i am saying is if you enjoy her company but dont feel a spark, there is nothing wrong with just going out with her on multiple dates.
As for what you are attracted to, you cant change that. Everyone has a type. My type is like your type but I just date younger. It is much harder for me because I am 5'8" and obese. I weigh around 330, i dont look quite that heavy, but I am still fat. I am completely ok that some women dont find me attractive, everyone has their type. Some women do though and I have learned to just focus my time on the ones that are interested and if they are not, to just move on.
Originally Posted by Joseph9
Unfortunately there is not much spark left, the hope is almost gone and vanished. I just feel that there has been so much damage done that it would be almost impossible to recover.
You can see that you are not completely over your ex. She has moved on to a new man, so reconciliation should be out of your mind. All that I would hope for now is that this man can be a good example for your daughters when you are not there.
I also have a feeling that you are trying to keep up with your ex and you shouldnt worry about her. Remember she asked for the divorce, not you, so if she has not made any changes in herself, she will return to her old ways, and then the new guy will be the one going through what you went through. Take pleasure in that if it makes you feel better.
Rexgm
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
Thanks RX......I guess I just need to RELAX! It is called dating for a reason and everyone knows the stakes. I should be having fun with this not stressing out over what may or may not happen. I think I am putting some pressure on myself with this one because we attend the same church, know the same people, and I do believe she really likes me. I can't let that factor in though and impact my decision making process. She should be going on other dates as well if she has the opportunity. I do not have anything else currently in the hopper at the moment.
Your right about my EW...not entirely over her yet, close but I have some work to do. I just need to run my race and not worry about what she is doing. I would say normally I am pretty good with it but realizing her BF was eating dinner with my girls last night and now they know he is my EW BF just didn't sit well.
Actually the more I thought about it the more I realized it is not his fault. My EW was the one that did all of this and put herself out there for this man to be a part of her life so I really don't have anything against him as long as he is good to my girls like you said.
I don't really know where she is at or if she has done any sort of self-reflection on what she contributed to the downfall of our MR. I have my assumptions which is probably "no" but either way, deep down inside, I know it doesn't matter. I think accepting that it is 100% completely over has been a slow process. I also wonder if that has been impacting me mentally with this current lady and the others I have went on dates with. I wonder if I have been holding myself back and maybe not really letting myself be interested/attracted to them.
L - I forgot to ask did the EW get moved out? How are things going?
Yeah I am on week three and so far it has been great. She moved out a weekend when I was away and cleaned the entire house and only took two things that bugged me a little (porch chairs and bed side tables) so no big deal. My son has stayed with me almost every night and my daughter about 75% because she is still getting settled in.
Had my first post marriage hook-up with a 27 year old LOL at a work retreat. Thought it might be a bad idea but so far she seems ok about it being no strings attached. I was very up front with where I am at right now. Just to have that feeling of someone being totally into you is just amazing.
Just activated my bumble acct Tuesday night and have had 8 matches but only 1 contact and I didn't respond. Bad feeling for some reason.
I am just going with the flow still adjusting to the newness of it all. Having seen the ex in about two weeks and really don't miss her at all. I guess I will know how I really feel when another man pops up and I get dick punched. Feel like I am good with it.
I think my number one problem is I have been drinking too much LOL and it is effecting my half marathon training and my crossfit.
Never would have gotten here myself but I am really starting to feel like she may have done me a big favor. Only time will tell.
Yeah I am on week three and so far it has been great. She moved out a weekend when I was away and cleaned the entire house and only took two things that bugged me a little (porch chairs and bed side tables) so no big deal. My son has stayed with me almost every night and my daughter about 75% because she is still getting settled in.
I remember dreading my wife's move-out day. It was a sudden awakening for me. Everything was so much easier and happier. The world was bright and sunny. I'd forgotten what it was like to live without the oppression of the dictator. I hadn't anticipated feeling relieved, but there it was; I basked in the wonder of being alive again.
Cool...good for you. I have had no luck on bumbl........I have matched with about 10 ladies however only 2 of them initiated conversation with me and when I responded they never responded back. I had all of my success on Match...it feels like I get about 2 to 3 good prospects per month however I did screw up early on being new and probably should have had 6 dates so far vs 3. Oh well.....live and learn
Yeah now that you are officially single that drinking will catch to you. It makes it pretty hard to get up early and train....also a corresponding impact on you wallet as well I got child support to pay!!!
Well you have been at this longer than me so you may not be as impacted as emotionally. I will say everything has got a little bit better for me each time something has happened so I know I am making progress.
I have not had any hook ups yet.........hopefully soon I did screw up one early on that I know would have ended up in a hook up but I never asked her out and she got bored. I learned that lesson very early on.
I am open to your suggestions though