See that is the problem assuming things. Its not the question of being impatient. She won't realize because of her mental imbalance issues. And even if she does her family will make her think in the other direction. So there is no point in continuing a relationship when one cannot take control of his/her mind.
And NO..i was asked to meet up with her and family. I did not show up at her place. And please stop being judgemental.
You didn't give us that info. And based on past history it was a logical assumption.
So all of your and get problems are due to her mental problems? Maybe I missed it but this is the first time I rememberyou mentioning that. And that get family wanted her away from you (though that doesn't surprise and seems like I vaguely remember that). The last couple of weeks you insisted she was just stubborn and needed to see your confidence and "peace".
But I think tom tell yourself anything nut. Look at your reaction to feedback here. Anger and vitriol. All were ever did was try to help you. And you spit in our faces. You might want to explore that before your next relationship.
Good luck Nut. I will continue praying for you. I sincerely hope you find happiness in the future.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
So interesting that I called my friend a mutual friend of ours. it seems that my wife had called my friend yestwrday to figure out how I was doing and he said i was doing emotionally good and strong. Since i didn respond to her msgs (I did not receive any as i had blocked her number) She insisted that he go check on me and update her. My friend said only if she changes decision that she contact him.. else not to contact him. She was very adamant.. and my friend hung up call.. and then he told he will let her know after checkig on me.. since he didnt respond. She sent him text to ensure that "I come today to court and set her free" but he didnt contact her back. Anyways in the lobby today i was confident and sat there expressionless before the court hearing. Was cheerful and confident entire divorce session in front of the judge, smiling and cracked a small joke in courtroom. So after divorce my ex asked why i did not respond to her msgs... i said i never received any msgs . But didnt admit that i blocked her number. Asked her to send an email once the health insurance switchover is done. She was a bit tearful. Her father was quite downtrodden. I just took my ezpass transponder from her car and left the place after bidding her good bye. No emotions but she definitely was emotional. I didnt give a F^%k the entire time.
So ends the past life and begins a new Life!!!
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
So wife tried to contact me by whatsapp and cell.. number is blocked.. so she sends me an below email
I tried to reach you through whatsapp and also through your cell but i am unable to reach you. Looks like may be you have blocked me. Thats fine, i understand. you have all right to block me but I just wanted to know what is good way to reach you and inform after my health insurance gets changee as it may take sometime. Please let me know.
Also, wanted to let you know that I have no hard feelings for u and i am always ur wellwisher. I would be happy to know how u r doing and would be happy to keep in touch. But i would not disturb u if u dont want to hear from me.
I am sorry if I have hurt u knowingly or unknowingly but i never wished ur bad.
Take care
I responded -- Email is best to inform me regarding healthcare
She sends response - ok thanks
After about 20 min another email pops up from her -
I am not in your life anymore and i know it was my decision but if u ever feel you want to talk to me or have any anything in mind u want to share or ask me whether its ur anger or anything. I will always be there.
Wish u all the happiness and success in life
Take care
What is this called - temp check and need to be ignored?
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
"I will always be there"... I'd quote that and then ask why she got a divorce. That doesn't add up. So be real or leave me the f alone.
I know what her F&%$ing response would be. She will say she wants to be tgere as a friend and Well wisher only. I have enuf of friends and well wishers in my life. I don't need a +1 who screwed my life and wants to be a f&&^ing well wisher.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
What does it take for WAWs to feel remorse? What are the signs to observe if they truly feel remorse for what they did?
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
What does it take for WAWs to feel remorse? What are the signs to observe if they truly feel remorse for what they did?
Nut, I thought you didn't care? This question shows you do care. You shouldn't be watching her for signs of remorse. If and when she feels any remorse she will let you know one way or another. Saying it is meaningless. My D15 apologizes to me all the time when my W makes her. It is insincere words without meaning. So for her to truly feel and express remorse is more than saying "I'm sorry". "I'm sorry" are two of the easiest words in human language to say.
What are you doing for yourself now that D is over? What are your GAL activities? What have you learned about yourself through this and changed (180s)? How are you working on detachment so that you don't wonder about these kinds of things (her remorse)? What are your plans for the future without her (or are you still sitting there waiting for her to return)?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
What does it take for WAWs to feel remorse? What are the signs to observe if they truly feel remorse for what they did?
Nut, I thought you didn't care? This question shows you do care. You shouldn't be watching her for signs of remorse. If and when she feels any remorse she will let you know one way or another. Saying it is meaningless. My D15 apologizes to me all the time when my W makes her. It is insincere words without meaning. So for her to truly feel and express remorse is more than saying "I'm sorry". "I'm sorry" are two of the easiest words in human language to say.
What are you doing for yourself now that D is over? What are your GAL activities? What have you learned about yourself through this and changed (180s)? How are you working on detachment so that you don't wonder about these kinds of things (her remorse)? What are your plans for the future without her (or are you still sitting there waiting for her to return)?
Steve85,no i am not waiting for her. The reason I asked that question was because, she sent me a blatant email (above) after divorce after failed attempts to contact me over phone and whatsapp(i have blocked her everywhere) as if she wanted to show some kinda concern that she cares for me. I very well know her email is also self centered and just a temp check. I didnt reapond more than what was required. Hence i just asked that question in this forum out of curiousity. Regarding my GAL, i am way ahead and working on my betterment for everything i do on a daily basis. I have been busy although once in a while i do remember the past.but i am quite free and peaceful and taking things as they come.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Nutcrac, I see this was related to her email. Her email was more than just a temp check. It was a guilt-ridden piece of garbage. Your WAW, as most do, is feeling guilty for turning your world upside down. Note, this is NOT remorse. It just goes against the nice girl image she has of herself so she is trying to alleviate this.
Now when people ask about you she will say "I tried to remain friends but he wants nothing to do with me now." As in it is your fault that you aren't friends. It is a game. It is a joke. It is her trying to reconcile destroying your MR with her image of herself being "innocent".
I would ignore all emails short of emergencies from her in the future. You did the right thing blocking her everywhere else. It is really makes me sick to my stomach that she is pulling these tactics. If this is who she is then you are way better off without her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Steve85, thanks and that's what i thought - a piece of garbage. And this is the person I have dealt with for the past 6 years. A person without remorse, with bipolar and narcissistic qualities. Forget guilt. She does not know what she is doing the next minute with her severe mood swings. One minute she is all good, the next minute severe rage for no reason. She needs to be left alone. Hence I was all the while confused angry & irritated. To some extent even now. Anyways, I will continue to block her probably email as well going forward. So its in fact easier for both of us to move on! I hope she just realizes this and does not contact me again after the policy change email.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
