Yet Another LBS w/ WAW

[Vanilla]

The therapy is called RTT.

V

[hongaku]

Thank you, V, I am definitely going to check that out presently.

[Vanilla]

I would also like you to change the apology of the hole. There is a lot of symbolism in it. Freud would have a field day.

I am more Yung orientated and thus believe in life stories and change. I sense there are some FOO issues too. There is depth and meaning in your writing, which has philosophy like my own.

That spirituality will really help as you use hypnosis to meditate. To contact that higher spirit.

The metaphor is that of the breath, opening up to breathe in clean clear air and sunshine. The air and see the earth as grounding you, not containing.

Let it flow

V

[Vanilla]

Analogy not apology.

V

[hongaku]

Thank you again, V. I will take what you said into account. The hole analogy came from a film I just watched this past Sunday with my 2 older boys. A character used the line if you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel. This line struck me at the time and is what lead me to my most recent very long post.

I definitely have some issues related to my FOO. My childhood home life felt very unstable, my parents married at 17 and had me at 20. Money was very problematic growing up and my parents argued a lot and sometimes violently. They are still together and mellowed out drastically over the years, but until I was about 13, things felt very unstable and unsafe at home. At school, I was bullied both physically and verbally and did not make friends easily. I was shy and introverted and these early years, not feeling safe at home or school, were the roots of my depression. I started gaining more confidence and friends in high school (other outcasts mainly) and things got better at both school and home, but the damage was already done and it took me many years to admit there was a serious problem, get diagnosed and start treating it with therapy and medication - until this past year in fact.

Regardless, the challenges feel unreal to me at the moment. The mental health issues, the seeking employment issues, the MR issues all just slamming me at once and I am needless to say having great difficulty working through these various challenges effectively. They are all related, yet separate issues.

I have checked out the RTT stuff you suggested and I am going to research it further and try out the free stuff. Thanks!

[Vanilla]

You will get through this. It does take work that work will of itself focus you and help you lift some of that FOO.

There is great news on FOO, there are plenty of techniques including CBT and NLP that work well on non sexual abuse FOO. FOO involving sexual abuse is above my pay grade and requires special attention.

But other childhood FOO is less resilient and involves an older hongaku giving love and support to his younger self. Treasuring and loving that little hongaku within him. Basically taking each incident and seeing that precious young hongaku in a chair and knowing that you as his older self can tell him it's going to be ok. He made it to adulthood and he has a long bright and happy future in front of him. He has shift to make in his life but at 40 he woke up, he dropped the shovel, stepped out of his hole and bathed in the sunlight. At 40 hongaku started to live, took joy in his children and became a man only a fool would leave. He stepped up for his children, became financially solid and lived his life purpose.

V

[Vanilla]

This sort of damage can be reversed, just like a vintage car can be easily repaired.

The child finds that hard but the man won't. Do discuss this with your IC.

There are lots of resources out there, free, even on YouTube with demos on shifting childhood FOO and growing in confidence.

Do start with I am enough and if that doesn't help then I can point to other freebie resources. I am a master of the great freebie!

I am looking forward to seeing your shifts. And this has nothing to do with your M but to applying DB to you. I am very encouraged by your attitude especially if you take action. V is very action centred in her thinking and beliefs.

V

[hongaku]

Thank you very much indeed, V! I have listened to a few of the free I Am Enough modules and whilst it may take me a few listens to properly start sinking into a hypnotic state, it was very relaxing and I could feel my mind searching itself a bit.

By all means share whatever free resources you can!

[Vanilla]

I wrote a very long post and it disappeared into the ether! I apologise I didn't notice until now.

Very unhelpful.

My own history has been one of abuse and deep despair including depression, triggers and severe cPTSD with anxiety.

There is excellent news although this takes time, because of brain plasticity it can change. You can rewire your brain and shift.

Shift is different from change. Shift is permanent, once you know then you can never unknown. It's resetting your autopilot for a new destination, if you do then holding the flight stick tight isn't required. Using willpower to hold the plane to a new destination fails the minute you can't hold the flight stick but change the autopilot and you will go to the new destination easily.

I used a resource called superbetter based on a remarkable talk by Jane McGonigal on TEDtalks available on YouTube. I religiously used this daily for two years intensively. I still listen to that TEDtalk.

TEDtalks themselves are remarkable as once you know you can new unknown. Learn about your own brain. Stop watching TV but flood your mind with inspiration instead.

You will want to gently exercise too, try using one or two of the tools or apps available. If you can afford a second hand Fitbit that monitors your sleep that would be great. The Fitbit app and website are amazing, and you can link my fitness pal.

Use a reframing tool of some kind, this is CBT therapy, there is a wonderful free charity website called Get.gg with tons of free stuff. Google reframing and agileleanlife.

This is a virtuous spiral, once you know you will never unknown.

When you are ready we can look to some basics of goals, nothing need to be permanent. The great thing in this is the ability to adapt and shift. I truly didn't know how to do it and had to learn the skills. The good news is that by working through it you can make enormous shift. And it sticks forever. Things will never be the same.

V

[Vanilla]

Also Google think reframe for a tool that will help you restructure your beliefs. Its free.

V