waw maybe #3

[bhappy2]

Updating:

Have not posted in 9 days, but I have been reading and learning.

Had a great fathers day, ran a 5K with D23 and D19 they both beat me and it was extremely hot. It was our slowest time ever. Many emergency vehicles to help if needed. Came home from race and went to dinner at my parents and D23, S21, and D19 came with me. It was great. W did wish me a happy Fathers day.

W is increasingly nicer day by day and I now realize if there is any chance at the marriage being fixed its going to take a lot of time. She is starting to help me with things around the house which is unusual but I am not making a big deal out of it. I say thanks and keep it moving.

So much to be thankful for, I am now just living my life. The social club I belong to is just great with so much to do. Making new friends every time I go there.

I am trying to organize a family white water rafting trip, the kids are into it but its hard to get everyone off work at the same time. It just looks like a lot of fun.

I have been running, I think this is the best thing for me!

I do have a new "Friend" that wants to date but I have been reluctant to go. I am not ready yet. I do not have a specific time frame for when I want to end my M. I guess I am in Limbo, but its not a bad limbo. I do my thing she does hers. When I dont converse with her for a few days she starts asking me questions. I know this is a process and its a marathon.

I saw Sandi was trying to develop a plan of action for LBH and I would say for me a good start would have been to just shut my mouth at BD and the following 4 weeks. That my have been the most crucial time to just be quiet and listen.

[bhappy2]

Journaling:

Great night last night, won the dart championship. Had a very competitve match both teams were fully engaged. Final score 24-16. it seemed closer than that.

After the match I went to a 6 hour concert at a local venue. This concert has taken place on the same date for the last 41 years. It was a tremendous show, such great music. Over 70 musicians played, absolutely phenominal.

Its not even July yet and I am really starting to plan out trip and get aways. Tomorrow I am traveling to see my parents, they have a second house in a rural area and I have frequently gone to vistit. I am making a map for for drive up to visit Covered Bridges. I have always loved seeing them but now I have some time to actually stop and read about the history. I will take some pictures, I really like to see the artitecture.

Still trying to plan a white water rafting trip and now a bunch of people are interest in going. I think I will just plan a day and say hey if you can make it this is the date.

Going to see Jurassic Park tonight, really looking forward to it. I asked D19 if she wants to go and she said she wasnt sure I said ok, I am going at 9 if you want to come.

Still running about 20 miles a week and D23 is trying to push me towards weights. I just like running more than weights but she said if you want to get toned you have to lift weights.

Nothing new with the W, she is somewhat talkative and I continue to validate and be pleasant around her. I have absolutely no idea where my M is going and thats a good thing.

Smile... every little thing...is going to be alright!

[bhappy2]

Updating:

July 1st, wow, no closer to D then the day she filed. W has been increasingly nicer but nothing as far as R. Its ok and I realize this is a process. I am here for the long haul, the moment I find out there is OM I will force this D as hard as I can.

Went to a party last night great time, had someone pay me a huge compliment, a female friend of mine who I have known for several years said that "Your W is a fool for D you" I said wow thank you. It really made me feel good. She said you are so full of life dont ever change. I said well last july I was a complete basket case.

I have a busy week ahead glad we have Wed. off. I am going to do some yard work.

For those of you who are recently BD'ed please give yourself time to heal. You owe yourself some time and space. Everything will fall into place. You will be so good at Validating it will come natural. I think my W would have been gone if I had kept up the pressure.

Peace...

[HelenaJ]

bhappy, I just read your whole thread. Its amazing how far youve come and to be completely honest, it was like reading a book and I wanted to see how it ends! Great job at focusing on your own life, Im in awe. Im pulling for your W to come around bc it sounds like shes missing out . Very nice.

[bhappy2]

Thank you Helena, I appreciate the kind words.

I will read your sitch tonight.

[HelenaJ]

That would be really great. Your story gave me hope that maybe I can get to a place where I know in my heart I will be ok either way, WHILE we are still living in the same house. I desperately need to get where you are and have no idea how. My path cannot be the same as yours as I have smaller children and can't be gone that much (plus I'm simply not that social haha) but somehow I need to make friends and start to have a life outside of H and his family.

[bhappy2]

Helena, I started reading your sitch last night until my eyes hurt. Sorry you are going through this, remember none of us are perfect. You will have to be as strong as you have ever been. One common theme I see here is that the LBS always tries to talk to the to WAW more than they need to, there really is no reason to contact unless its about kids... period.

I will continue reading you story today...

[bhappy2]

Updating:

My L finally heard back from W's L and set a date july 26th for a conference with all 4 of us. Within 1 hour I get a call back that the date has been switced to Aug. 13th... Finally going to see what we can get done. All is good and I am peace with this proceeding forward.

W went to a concert last night, an employee appreciation day from her job, she couldnt wait to tell me all about it. It was all music from the 80's and she said she would love to see them again. She looked happy, I didnt focus on her as I did just validating. Since the date has been made W has been very friendy, but nothing more than a friendly neighbor. Thank you to the vets that responded to my thread early on, it made all the difference.

I have been GAL as much as possible and it really has created a lot of opportunities to meet new people and also becoma more active. The social club is just great! I was asked to run a Texas Hold 'em tournament and i agreed to. They need help figuring out prices and prizes. It is going to be a bbq and card night, looking forward to it. Right after I was asked to run the tourny several ladies asked me if we need help cooking, I said of course, the more the merrier.

Jouraling:
I have made so many new friends and there have been a few ladies that have approached me about dating. My responses have been that I am still married and it would not be fair to all involved if we were to date. Not to say we didnt have a great time hanging out but just not ready to go on an official date.

Still have not scheduled the white water rafting but I really want to before the summer is over.

Went to a free outdoor concert this past Tuesday, music wasnt the greatest but the fireworks where just great.

Thurday went to the social club, my favorite bartender was working and she seems to like me. She is 61 years old and is really funny and great to hang out with. So during her time working I asked if she played darts she said no, so I said come on we will play next. We played two guys at the bar and shockingly we won, she said that was the first time she ever won at darts, I said me too...lol. Anyway it was a lot of laughs.

Things are going great I am really starting to enjoy life again, as I write this I am trying to get myself motivated to run a quick 4 miler...ugh... motivation... its really hard sometimes.

[HelenaJ]

How did the conference go?

[bhappy2]

Conference has been rescheduled for Aug 13th.