Well. I haven't heard from him since Saturday. The first few days were the roughest for me. I'm still really sad and bummed but as the days go on I'm not as edgy. I still think of him all the time. Rerunning everything through my brain. Wondering-hoping that we will work this out.
My work schedule is pretty long from Monday through Thursday so I don't really get home until 630ish. That really helps. I've been reading every night which has probably been the most helpful out of everything. I deactivated my Facebook page. People keep tagging me in memes talking about moving on or him not being ready for me. I can't deal with the negativity anymore. I haven't talked to my friends since this weekend. I decided that I just need to be quiet and regroup. I feel as tough they are mad at me for my decision. I'm sad about that also.
Loves77, you need to focus on detachment. If you want him back you have to let him go.
What are you doing for GAL? Reading is great but you need more than that! Reach out to those friends and tell them you are ready to hang out but want no talk about HIM. And good move ont he FB deactivation. You will be better off for it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I have only backed off from friends because I do feel that I need to regroup. I really regressed when he backed out of coming home a few weeks back. This past weekend I felt like I was losing my mind. I know everyone in this site feels that way at times, so I feel bad even typing it. I just needed to breathe a bit. Reading has helped me do that. I mainly do that in the evening time while the kids are all playing together. That is the other reason I need to refocus. I have 4 children depending on me.
GAL is not to difficult. But the biggest stress in my life is financials. It has been for some time. He feels it too. It's really why we fight to be honest.
He admitted to me a month ago that it really bothers him, and for sometime , that I can't trust him to believe that it's all gonna be ok. So it reallly bad that we continue to fuss over finances.
I also feel like my body is regulating hormonally after having a child. I just want to get myself back together, and show him what he's missing. He knows how stressed I have been and how much I went thru this past year. I just have to get back to me. The woman who can handle anything. That's who I used to be.
I feel you on the financial issues being the crux of your strife. I feel like this has been the primary source of tension between my W and me. With each new child, it only got worse and her fixation on needing to make more money would escalate.
Just keep doing what you are doing - getting back to yourself and dive headlong into GAL. Do not take the bait if it seems like an argument over finances is imminent when you interact w/H. Detach and let go of him for now.
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
The financial stress came from me being out of work for a year. I had transitioned and then found out I was preggo with my baby boy and we decided it was best for me to wait until he was born and settled before me going back. I'm big time into making sure all finances are in order so the stress of that the past 8 months or so has been so overwhelming for me. Maybe longer. I would worry all the time. He had admittted that he felt that was the reason we had do many issues, bcme not used to not working and such. That, he felt that I would get back to work and things would go back to normal. So it all made sense, that is why he was coming around right before I went back to work. On top of that, it seeems that whenever we get back to a good pace, a crazy scenario happens. Adding stress. His mo. Had been our plan for baby sitting. Well, the first week that crashed and burned. Then the next week my friend crashed and burned. So now I'm paying for a sitter, which is needed stability, but also the stress of paying for it.
I know he is stressed also. I just feel like I'm living in it more than him bc I'm doing all the work now. Kids, house, work. It's a lot. It's taking me a while to get regrounded so to speak. I feel like I may have lost him in all the mess. I can't 100% blame myself either bc I went thru a pregnancy. And when a preggo lady is stressed..... WATCH OUT. lol.
I'm having a good day today. I get Fridays off so that always a happy time. Lol. I'm feeling the urge to reach out to him, but as I have read so many times on here, DONT.
It's been almost a week. I feel that he is prolly wondering what it up and I don't want to mess that up by texting him.
