So, I had a fabulous, busy, very GAL type of weekend, in which I neglected all of my domestic responsibilities. I don't regret it though.
HA! Same here, I needed to get my yard mowed but that didn't happen!
Quote:
Yes, there was some serious kissing, hand holding, all of that. It was pretty electric. he even said "I am not going to have to beg to see you again, right?" We will be seeing each other on Wednesday.
WOOHOO! So describe electric? I don't know that I felt that way on mine towards her. When she walked into the room I don't think she took my breathe away. Is that how it's supposed to feel? Maybe it was my nerves or I was holding myself back.
Yes, there was some serious kissing, hand holding, all of that. It was pretty electric. he even said "I am not going to have to beg to see you again, right?" We will be seeing each other on Wednesday.
WOOHOO! So describe electric? I don't know that I felt that way on mine towards her. When she walked into the room I don't think she took my breathe away. Is that how it's supposed to feel? Maybe it was my nerves or I was holding myself back.
[/quote]
Well, I have been on a few dates in my time, and I either have a strong connection, or I really have none. It honestly hasn't served me well in my time, though. It wasn't like I wanted to rip his clothes off the second I saw him, but I was initially very physically attracted to him. Then as the night went on talking to him, the attraction got stronger. You could just kind of "feel" the connection.
it could be 2 things, J. One, you aren't completely open to someone yet. I think that attraction comes when you are completely open to receiving it. I happen to be very open to it, so when it comes, I let it in.
Also, it was your first first date in a long time. No reason for the first one to feel that way. Perhaps her strong interest in you is making you feel a little uncomfortable right now.
You should be going on some more dates, with other women. And I usually give the second date a chance. If I am not feeling it after the second date, I pretty much know it's a no-go.
That's great Ginger, very happy you had such a nice night. Where in Mexico are you going? I've always had a good time when I go there, beautiful water and very affordable pricing, good combination
I am going to playa del Carmen. I've been to Mexico once when I was dating my ex and he was a store manager and had earned a trip with his coworkers to mexico. he got very very ill, so we spent most of the time in the hotel room except for the first day. So I am looking forward to really experiencing it.
It's all-inclusive, so eating, drinking, swimming, and sunbathing are on the agenda.
Thanks guys, I am going to be cautiously optimistic about this one. It helps I have an inside as to what he is thinking. Actually beginning of the date he said he promised my cousin a selfie, and we took one and we are a good lookin' couple, haha! The next morning he sent it to me:)
I know I need to slow my roll, but I just really think I earned something somewhat real and I am hoping this has the potential.
Also, it was your first first date in a long time. No reason for the first one to feel that way. Perhaps her strong interest in you is making you feel a little uncomfortable right now.
I think you are right......I think her strong interest makes me feel very uncomfortable. She told me she is very picky and has not went on a lot of dates. She also told me I was a "unicorn". So yes, I am uncomfortable.
Quote:
You should be going on some more dates, with other women. And I usually give the second date a chance. If I am not feeling it after the second date, I pretty much know it's a no-go.
I agree, I would like to go on more dates. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I guess I really need to try and let myself go on the 2nd date. Not be all touchy feely but just embrace it more, try not to be scared.
She seems super sweet, nice, caring, was interested in my girls, is spiritual, is obviously into me, she has read the 5 love languages, is affectionate, etc. I felt really comfortable around her as well, that it was a safe place. I am sure she could tell that I was new to this and she was really sweet and not judgmental about it all.
I went into trying to keep things high level, not bring up my Ex, D or anything but she kept probing, wanting to go deeper. What happened? Why didn't it work?
It's my first date though, I just don't want to hurt her and string her along.
.I think her strong interest makes me feel very uncomfortable.
Yes, Joseph - it does make one uncomfortable if your date seems more into you than you are into them. It can make you worry that their enthusiasm is for their FANTASY of who you are, instead of the real you, warts and all, because they don't really know you yet. STILL - isn't it nice to be validated? And isn't this better than a date finding you unattractive?
You're an adult dating an adult woman - sure, people's feelings can get hurt, but so long as you are honest it shouldn't be on you. I'm dating a guy right now who, to be honest, is not quite as handsome and devastatingly sexy as some of my past dates. But he's a solid guy with good values who actually wants to be in a relationship, and those other devastatingly handsome guys didn't work out so well, so I'm spending time with him to see what feelings develop. Right now his interest in me is higher than mine in him but not enough so for me not to give it a chance. (Secretly hoping that when the time comes he'll be really great in bed lol!)
Thanks K for the re-enforcement. I just need to remind myself that everyone knows the stakes in the dating game. This lady knows I am new in the game so she is aware of what she could be getting into.
I think it is happening to me again. Or I am just getting traumatized by my last few experiences.
So, cousin says he is a bad texter, which is fine. He did text me the morning after of the pic of us he took for my cousin. He wished me a good day and all that stuff. He texted me late at night after I had said something to him early in the morning, but he was over at his ex's house playing with the kids. I was sleeping, so I responded yesterday morning, early, when I have my 10 minutes of phone time upon awakening (sad, I know). Didn't hear from him all day.
So, then I have my inside and she did text him the morning after the date "so?" He replied "We had a lot of fun, I would ask her out again" and that was it. My cousin said he is not a kiss and tell kind of guy. So I left it alone and didn't hear from him all day.
We were going to see eachother on my kid free night which is tomorrow (and it turns out Thursday too) He told me wednesday should work, but here is Tuesday and nothing yet.
So, I am getting that feeling like this is happening to me again! Great first date, make a second date, then a freak out or something. But now I have no perception if my gut is right, or I am just paranoid it is going to keep happening.
It really stinks. Honestly. There are only so many times in a row this could happen and you simply let it roll off your back. I don't want to regret giving it another try after I get burned so much.
So, sometime today, if he doesn't text I am simply going to ask if we are still on for tomorrow. I feel my time is valuable and I don't want to get jerked around.
I hope my gut is just being confused over recent experiences and someone isn't dodging me again. I don't think he would, I think he would come out with it, but who knows.
Relax, girl! Have you never heard of the three day rule? Or playing hard to get?
Lots of perfectly good guys still wait three days after a date to call, so as not to appear over eager. YOU need to work on not appearing over eager. There's no quicker way to scare a guy off than appearing pushy. I know that your experiences have made you nervous but DONT let him see that!
About the whole hard-to-get business: it used to tick me off. As a feminist it made me mad that I was supposed to play that game. I'm not too good at it even now. However: the times when I have inadvertently been hard to get (because I've been really busy, or some emergency came up) I've seen men act much more interested.
One example - my recent second act with Love Avoidant guy that I had dated before crazy exBF. He and I had stayed in contact over the years with occasional texts and rare phone calls but I kept them to a minimum because I was with someone else. When exBF blew up Love Avoidant guy offered me his company; I thanked him and told him how nice it was to know he was there but wasn't ready yet. Several months later I offered to see him but he had a houseguest for a month. He called me after but I was busy. THEN he invited me to a dinner with friends at his house. Now, in all the time I'd known him I'd never met any of his friends! He was upping the ante to get me to come!
As it turned out I had to cancel because of discovering son's addiction and the intervention. Took a little longer before I was free to go visit him. By the time I did arrive he was dying to see me. None of it was on purpose, but just a reminder - men like to hunt. Don't make it too easy.
