Am I Piecing, or Pi$$ing in the wind???

[Clyde]

Thanks Ginger,

No need to apologize, you are spot on!

[Clyde]

Reread this post and saw several typos (damn autocorrect) any how, I'm gonna repost it with out the typos, it doesn't do the song justice with the typos/wrong words.


I was looking for a thread I saw not to long ago called " The DB Songbook". Couldn't find it, so I guess I will post it here for now.

This is an old country song written by Keith Whitey, I wrote and added the few verses that are in blue. Those verse I wrote directly relate to things the W said last year during BD. I'm sitting here w/ a guitar and a beer, singing my heart out to, part of me kinda hopes she slows down and hears the lyrics.

Anyhow, here it is....

Where there's a cloud don't mean there's rain
Tears in my eyes don't mean there's pain
Don't flatter yourself, I'm over you
Things aren't always what they seem
You can't believe everything you read
On my face, I'm over you

You heard I'm drinkin' more than I should
And I ain't been lookin' all that good
Someone told you I was takin' it rough
Why they makin' those stories up
When I'm over you?

There were times if you've been around
You would've seen me broken down
But now you won't, I'm over you
So if I seem a little bit cold
It only means that you lost your hold
You had on me, I'm over you

You heard I'm drinkin' more than I should
And I ain't been lookin' all that good
Someone told you I was takin' it rough
Why they makin' those stories up
When I'm over you?

The free ride is over, it is long gone
It left when your gratitude hit the door
Don't be surprised, I'm over you
You were treated like a queen
But acted like a child
That might of seemed
To work for a while
But with a smile, I'm over you

You say you can't love me
The thought makes nauseous
That feeling in your belly
Is gonna give cancer
Biopsy me, from your life
Your family and your friends
Never liked me
You never could put them in their place
I'm no longer your disgrace
I'm over you

You heard I'm drinkin' more than I should
And I ain't been lookin' all that good
Someone told you I was takin' it rough
Why they makin' those stories up
When I'm over you?

[Gordie]

Awesome

Music soothes the soul

Where is the audio

And sing for you

Not for her

[Gordie]

Clyde

I meant the D R book

And ginger is right

I feel the same way

But she said it more eloquently

[Clyde]

Awesome

Music soothes the soul

Where is the audio

And sing for you

Not for her

Thanks Gordie

Yes, music does soothe the soul, it's always been my outlet ever since I was a kid.

You can find the original version (Keith Whitley's) on you tube... it is great, I'm kinda partial to Cody Jinks cover of it though (you can also find that in you tube). If you are into country what so ever and haven't heard of Cody Jinks you should check him out. His music is not like the over produced hick-pop you here a lot of these days, he's part of that revival that is brewing - taking it back to the basics much like Willie, Johnny, and Waylon did back in their time.

As far as singing for myself, not her - you are completely right, and that's why I love this forum, sometimes you need and receive some pretty heavy, in depth advice, other times you just need to be reminded something as simple and obvious as "sing for yourself - not her"

[Clyde]

Clyde

I meant the D R book

Great, thanks.

I'll be checking it out shortly.

[Clyde]

Now I don't want to sound like a sorry sack... but I'm going to vent/journal. I've found reading over my past post has helped me see/remember a lot of stuff that has transpired, and in doing so has helped me come to the realization of my sitch, (even though many of you called it out long ago). That being said, I'm gonna try and journal more, so that in the future If I'm ever on the fence, doubting my course of action, I can go through these post and remind myself just how things were... no rose color glasses!

Anyhow... time to vent/journal.

This woman has some nerve, she does the Costco run today... gets household items there, of which I will be using. However my one and only staple from there is beef jerky, I eat it for lunch along w/ trail mix several times a week. Every time we go to Costco we get jerky.

W leaves for work - I come in from work, knowing she and the kids just went to Costco I go looking for the jerky, I don't see it (I'm thinking maybe she forgot it) I ask D13 if they remembered to get jerky, D13 says that she "put it in the cart, but mom took it out, said it was too expensive."

Every summer it is tradition that we get the whole family new sandles/flip flops, Being the bread winner its always been me to go out and make this happen. The kiddos usually get a basic pair of Reefs ($20 each), and I get the W and I nicer leather ones, I know my W's size and taste, she's always been stoked on what I get her. Yesterday she goes out and gets everyone flip flops/sandles, ends up getting herself two pairs, does not even ask if I want a pair (she knows I'm rocking worn out ones!). Given our financial sitch I would of passed anyhow, but it would of been a nice gesture for her to ask.

[Ginger1]

She needs to GTFO!

[Maybell]

Clyde, what exactly do you think you have to work with in this relationship?

[Clyde]

She needs to GTFO!

Ginger

I appreciate your honesty, I wish it was that simple...(who knows, maybe there is a reason it is not).

Here is my predicament, (before I even go into it, I will own that I allowed myself to be put in this position by letting her come back home), as I sit here right now I am saying the same thing (GTFO) plus a few expletives! Last year,after she and her sister had called the cops on me twice to unsuccessfully have me arrested, I had finally hit my limit. I sat down w/ the W and calmly said "clearly this is not working, you say you want to leave, now is the time"... she immediately got up, called the police again, I don't know exactly what she said but they showed up swat style, over a dozen of them, and even though I was calm, collected, walked to them in an unthreatening manor, I ended up face down in the driveway with a knee in my back. After securing me, I was allowed to talk, not only was I not arrested, but they allowed my daughter to stay w/ me and made the W leave the house... long story short, the W's next step was to file a bogus TRO, (it got thrown out 4 days after being served, she got a good chastising from the judge too). Why did she file a bogus TRO - she developed an entitlement along the way, she does not have the drive to support herself even w/ the support payments she gets when custody is 50/50. I really believe that the plan she, her "sister", and her para legal friend hatched up was to get full custody, in which case she would not have to work. I fear it will happen again but having failed last time, she will go to more extremes this time, she might go as far as giving herself a black eye or something like that. She even eluded to the fact she will do it again back in January when we had a falling out.

So back to my predicament, how do I get her to go peacefully???

Any sudden demand of the W is likely to end bad, Last ditch effort LRT? I've never successfully executed it for any length of time. Maybe that would wake her up, maybe not, but maybe in that time a peaceful separation could happen?????? This seems like the perfect point to dive into Maybell's question...

Clyde, what exactly do you think you have to work with in this relationship?

At this point the only thing I have to work with/my only hope is LRT.

Letting go is coming natural at this point, (never thought I would say that). I know someday I will have a healthy meaningful R, whether it be w/ my W, or someone else. My W has mistaken my kindness for weakness, my willingness to do what ever to keep the family together as desperation. She is wrong.

If we do make it through this never again will the dynamic be the same on so many levels. I laugh that she is being so tight fisted on her tax return, it will go fast. The financial crunch I am in is rare, it won't be long till she expects me to pick up her slack... again, she is wrong.

I re-read LRT in the DR book, at this point I think the hardest part for me is not being cold/callous around her.

Up to now, I've been holding out hope that my MLC W had/was slowly returning to her senses, it had seemed as though she was making her way back, I know the sister coming back into the picture 6 weeks ago is a factor, the timing is right in line w/ when the W's efforts plummeted - they went 6 months without talking, now they are talking daily.

So thats were I'm at... one can only guess were she is at, and while I know it is not good to try and figure out were the MLC W is mentally, here is my best take on the scenario.

I believe she loves me, I believe she wants us to be a family. I know something has changed in the last 3 years, hormones, MLC, maybe they are one in the same, I believe she is confused.

Then to throw fuel on the fire, there is the "sister" who also has a vendetta against me since I threatened to blow the lid on her affairs. On top of that the W has compared me to the "sisters's" H, saying things like why can't you be secure like him? (He has no idea what his W has done behind his back, on top of that, this guy is a complete b!tch), W told me how she and the "sister" were on his back patio having drinks, he got home from work and saw that they needed another, he made three drinks (1 for himself also) brings them to the table and tries to sit down w/ them and the "sister" motions her hands and tells him "you can go now".

My W still says the first crack in our R was during the treehouse argument. When I first started posting, I got a lot of flack about how I handled it - I told the W she could get a job and support the house, that I would be a SAHF. This was in response to my W saying I could not build a $400 tree house, because our house was a $hit hole (It is not). Having read over my thread, I've got to wonder if I did not articulate myself well enough, current day, having explained my sitch more thoroughly, I'm curious if the treehouse would of been considered a form of GAL, if my response to her was one that demanded respect... just a thought. Anyhow, back to my point, was this the first crack, or was it the first sign of her entitlement getting called out?