Ha! Good to know, Steve. I am on a Mac and for some reason, Apple products seem to have an issue with the contractions. I have been pretty good about it, but that last post I made was kind of a free form, thought spill and I was not paying as much attention, apparently!
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
If I were to answer you honestly at this moment in time, then no. I have vague ideas and fuzzy aspirations, but I no solid long term goals in terms of a career, nor a sense of life purpose outside of my artistic passions as a musician and writer - but those are passion hobbies, not a way to make a living. I have more benign short term goals of getting back into the professional job-force and improving my physical and mental health. So far the physical part is mostly going well at least. Some good headway on the mental health side with IC and anti-depressant medication seeming to be largely effective in terms of my view of myself and no longer berating myself. I am extremely depressed still, but it is now more situational than anything else - the triggering situation being the one with my W presently wanting to divorce at the end of the mandatory year of separation required by the state we live in. Still working on the getting a job part, unfortunately.
I feel like maybe I did have bigger goals and a greater sense of purpose when I was younger, but the daily grind of life and responsibilities of being a parent and spouse fogged my vision and wore down my ambition. Coupled with having suffered from depression long term, I really do not know who I am anymore and I am trying to find me in all of this whilst also trying to deal with the grief and sense of loss.
M: 40 W: 37 T: 20 MR: 13 S13, S9, S4 BD: 1/29/18 Sep: 4/23/18 (I moved out) 8/24/18 I come home, she moves out
If you want to get out of the hole, drop the shovel.
My thoughts are that without this you will be depressed. From those posts I think you lack the skill set. It's a skill set and it can be learned. It's not a character fault, but an educational one.
There is nothing wrong at all in this. It's just without that purpose you will be rudderless. And when you identify your life purpose that doesn't mean being no 1 or having massive ambition to be so.
And you don't have to have a job to fulfil your purpose. You can try volunteering and that could be using your skill set in a volunteering way.
I would like you to Google I am enough. There is a hypnosis program available which is free and has a module about finding your life purpose.
Then I will be here to help you start putting together your goals.
I am 100% positive this can be turned around. That DB will work on you to become a man only a fool would leave. You have made a good start let's drive some momentum.
Excellent news on the health front.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
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