Thanks, V... Luckily she hasn't been around or contacted me much. I hope it stays this way. I plan on STFU. Histrionic decribes her to a tee...
I just met with my L and went over the paperwork for the divorce. I am going for full custody and a majority of parenting time. I may be on the hook for spousal maintenance, which $ucks, but is worth it in the end I guess. I hate that this is happening. I wish I could have my old W back, but I understand she is not her anymore...
She may come back at some point. Who knows. By then you may very well be way past it and not interested.
Hang in there. Light at the end of the tunnel.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
My friend that works at the same place as OM informed me yesterday that he thinks OM has dropped the W. Not that it really matters because she's still a crazy WW. They could have just taken things further underground too. But with her current state and actions, it wouldn't surprise me if he got a glimpse of her true self and got tired of her BS. Oh well... either way, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
My friend that works at the same place as OM informed me yesterday that he thinks OM has dropped the W. Not that it really matters because she's still a crazy WW. They could have just taken things further underground too. But with her current state and actions, it wouldn't surprise me if he got a glimpse of her true self and got tired of her BS. Oh well... either way, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on...
Or he found an OW. Cheaters gonna cheat. Cheaters that cheat with cheaters, cheat on cheaters.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Checking in. Now I'm going to have to read from the beginning. Heh.
Buckle up and get the popcorn ready...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Struggling a bit today with a decision. I talked to the L a few days ago and we went over the paperwork. I told him to give me a few days to go over it a few more times and I'd get back to him. Just not sure if I'm ready to pull the trigger. I took my vows seriously, but at the same time I've put up with a lot of $hit lately. Part of me wonders if WW is going through an early MLC. She has some serious childhood issues she has never dealt with. She's made absolutely no contact for a week now. Last time was a single phone call last Friday that I did not answer. She has been staying away and not causing the problems she has been the past few months. I feel like I have not given her enought time to come out of whatever it is she's going through and filing the papers for D is doing all the work for her. Somewhere deep inside, I feel like I should continue to stand. To show her that I haven't given up on her. At the same time, she has been very slanderous and I feel it's possible she may not come out of it. This is a huge life decision, and I don't want to make any rushed decisions. This is by far one of the toughest decisions I've ever had to make...
I know we're not supoosed to believe anything they say and only half of what they do. But a couple weeks ago, when she lasr stopped by the house, we had a pretty good interaction. I know I can't put any validity into this, but nevertheless, she was pleasant and so was I. Then there was a few random texts that she sent that I did not respond to. Followed by one that said she thought things were getting better between us and she was hurt that I was treating her like that (not replying). 99% of me knows that it was just manipulation, but that 1% makes me wonder if our good interaction that day was making her think. I wonder if I should have replied to her texts and continued to be cordial. Showing her that I am not her enemy. Started to be dim instead of dark just to see what would have happened. Too late for that now. I know eventually she will contact me again and I will have a chance to show a positive version of me. The man only a fool would leave...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I was advised several times that D can be stopped or withdrawn at any point. That still plays on my mind sometimes, but i know D is going to happen, it needs to.
That was easily the hardest decision to make, and it was kind of of still out of my hands, i made that call rashly and based on emotion.
Sit on it for a few days, maybe even set a deadline for yourself.
Im afraid of your WW thinking that if things can be patched up that all of her behavior of late has been forgiven and is something she will try to sweep under the rug. Doesnt strike me as the type to accept accountability for it, at least not in her current mindset.
Has she ever confirmed or denied the drug use?
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Im afraid of your WW thinking that if things can be patched up that all of her behavior of late has been forgiven and is something she will try to sweep under the rug. Doesnt strike me as the type to accept accountability for it, at least not in her current mindset.
Has she ever confirmed or denied the drug use?
There will be no sweeping under the rug. If R were to happen, she will need to take accountability, show remorse, and get professional help for the underlying issues. But like you say, in her current mindset, I don't think she's capable of it. Only time will tell...
As far as drug use, she has both confirmed and denied. There have been times when she used right in front of me. Hard to deny that. She is usually pretty open to admitting it. However there are times when it gets bad, and she denies, denies, denies. At this moment in time, I can almost guarantee you she would deny and claim that she's been clean for awhile. I highly doubt she has though. It's really weird. Sometimes she has moments of clarity where she admits there is a problem, other times she's in complete denial...
Right now, I'm thinking of hanging tight with the D. Wait it out for a bit. If the $hit hits the fan, all I have to do is make a phone call to pull the trigger. Of course this whole thing is a rollercoaster, so hard telling how I will feel about it all in a few days...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
