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ItHurts Offline OP
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Good morning all. Just woke up to a text from WAW. She said a song just came on the radio that reminded her of my deceased brother. Some of you may recall that he died a year before my Mom died while WAW was in Florida.
I assume I can reply with something like "yeah it reminds me of him too whenever I hear it."
Thoughts?


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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Originally Posted By: ItHurts
Good morning all. Just woke up to a text from WAW. She said a song just came on the radio that reminded her of my deceased brother. Some of you may recall that he died a year before my Mom died while WAW was in Florida.
I assume I can reply with something like "yeah it reminds me of him too whenever I hear it."
Thoughts?


Yeah that sounds fine.

IH, just in general you want to behave like a moderately interested 3rd party if that makes sense. Just remember the whole picnic analogy is all about YOU HAVING YOUR OWN PICNIC. In other words, you are your own person. Strong, independent, secure. If she texts then you reply. If she doesn't, who cares you're enjoying your separate life.

I may be repeating myself on this next bit, I thought I had posted this to you already but I don't see it in your last thread so it may have been when I was having computer trouble. Your approach needs to be a little different than the standard DB approach. In DBing pursuit is bad, but in pursuing a romantic interest who is NOT a WAS then pursuit is normal. Your ex is no longer a WAS. Yes she is clearly hesitant to jump back into something, but I think the interest is there. So don't be afraid to pursue a little. I think what you did with the concert was perfect- you invited her to go "along", not specifically to go on a date. She didn't go and you went and had fun anyway. PERFECT. That is EXACTLY what the picnic is all about. So come up with something you are OK doing alone if you have to, and ask her along. If she declines then don't make a big deal of it because that is just her running back into the castle. You go anyway (picnic). Ask her to something else a week or two later, one time she will decide to join you at the picnic.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Thanks a ton AS. Yeah my friend is having a surprise party for his wife this Saturday and if WAW happens to ask to hang out I'll ask her to come along. If she declines that's fine too because I will know almost everyone there and have no issue going alone either. They are a great bunch of people so there's no doubt I'll have a blast either way.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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^^^There you go, that sounds excellent!^^^


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: May 2014
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Yeah it would be a bit weird if WAW did come because WAW knows them all too so I'm sure some heads would turn in disbelief when we walked in together LOL! But yeah I'm looking forward to seeing them all...WAW coming along would just be an added bonus. Thanks again AS!


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Okay I replied to her as I indicated above. She came back with "I hope you're having a good day, I didn't mean to bring you down. It just made me think of him."
Then she followed that up with "You never told me, how was the concert?"

I wasn't ready for that one as I figured the concert was old news now. Maybe she is curious who I went with after all.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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Play it coy my friend! wink


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Haha coy Steve? How so? What if I simply reply that the concert was great and then she point blank asks me who I went with LOL? Besides i did tell her how it was when I answered her text the morning after. So I'm not sure why she's saying I never told her how it was LOL!


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
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Originally Posted By: ItHurts
Haha coy Steve? How so? What if I simply reply that the concert was great and then she point blank asks me who I went with LOL? Besides i did tell her how it was when I answered her text the morning after. So I'm not sure why she's saying I never told her how it was LOL!


Yeah that's weird that she asked, because you did already tell her, I remember you talking about that. Huh. Maybe she's fishing for info. You might try something like "it was really fantastic, you should have gone, you would have loved it!" Would be interesting to see her reply to that.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Yeah I think you're right AS...she must be curious who i went with since it's been a couple weeks now and I never put up any pics or anything on my FB. I replied and told her she didn't bring me down at all and that it's a good thing to remember your deceased loved ones as that's how they live on. I told her the concert was amazing and it was a great time. Haven't heard back yet. I have a feeling she's going to point blank ask me who I went with. I hope she doesn't ask though!


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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