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mtb1981 Offline OP
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W just sent me text...

W: Any plans tonight?

Me: Nothing set in stone Why?

W: was gonna see if I could swing by and talk to you?

Me: About what?


This should be interesting. The only reason I replied to the original text was because I thought she might want to do something with the kids. If I knew she just wanted to talk to me, I wouldn't have responded. Hard telling where this is going to go. I can't see it being anything good. Her wanting to take more stuff from the house or asking for money. Or faking another attempt at R so she has some place to stay when she leaves her apartment. That would be my guess...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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She just texted back saying she wanted to talk about the kids and grabbing more stuff. She also wants to borrow $100. Siad her gas bill is due and needs money for gas to get to her mom's this weekend to get new tires on the van. She says she didn't want to ask me, but doesn't know what else to do...

There's no way I'm giving her any money. And I really don't want to have the same worn out conversation about the kids and her taking more things from the house. Any advice?...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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Keep frosty MTB. Good Luck. ill be looking for your update.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
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2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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Originally Posted By: mtb1981
She just texted back saying she wanted to talk about the kids and grabbing more stuff. She also wants to borrow $100. Siad her gas bill is due and needs money for gas to get to her mom's this weekend to get new tires on the van. She says she didn't want to ask me, but doesn't know what else to do...

There's no way I'm giving her any money. And I really don't want to have the same worn out conversation about the kids and her taking more things from the house. Any advice?...


Tell her what about the kids? We can discuss that on the phone.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Steve85

Tell her what about the kids? We can discuss that on the phone.


Exactly. I don't know why she wants to see me in person. Perhaps she thinks she'll do a better job of convincing me to give her money face to face? I don't know. I would assume she thinks that if she can come over to talk, she'll also have the opportunity to take more stuff from the house. It could be that she's baiting me into asking her to R and come home. She's realizing she has no control over me, and I think it's driving her nuts. For me to bring up R would give her the peace of mind that she still has me as plan B, and that ain't happening...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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Not sure if I should respond to the text at all or not. Would no response be considered being passive aggressive?...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,826
Likes: 233
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Hmmm, good call. I'd like someone else to weigh in here. I think you are right though. Maybe take the kids to the park, and to get ice-cream and "forget" your phone at home? Then text her later and say you all had stepped out and just got home. Then say you are tired and going to bed.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Feb 2018
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I meant good call and you are right about her wanting to see if she can get control back, and get the money, and possibly take more stuff from the house.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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Yeah, I decided to take the kids to the park for a bit. Then we have to pick up the oldest from soccer practice and will probably swing by a friend's house for a cook out after that. I just don't want to be here for the inevitable stop by...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
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mtb1981 Offline OP
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Can you please help me? I wouldnt ask if I had anyone else to ask. Im sorry...

This is what she just sent now. Can she be serious? Not my job anymore since she left me. How do I respond to this?...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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