Hey man! Today is a big day in the sense that a huge change is being finalized in your life. Feel everything and all the emotions and let it out. You're allowed that. Sometimes I wonder if you've buried some of your feelings and emotions, but I hope breaking down after your run was cathartic.
Stay strong. I know this looks like the finish line, but infact it's the starting line.
I am so sorry it had to come down to this. ((((big bro hugs)))) I am thinking of you.
Thanks guys, man I am exhausted and officially D'd. Not sure where to even start.....unfortunately I couldn't hold it together and teared up in front of the judge. The trigger points are my D's and when the W was reading the script and had to read their names thats when the tears started flowing. The W noticed, I could tell her voice cracked a bit when she caught it. After we were walking out of the court house she rubbed my back and asked me if I was ok. I just said I'm good and I'll see you later and that what is it.
She was flat the entire time, didn't show much emotion. I found some more errors in the decree yesterday afternoon so I spent the last 2 hours of my day proofing it, making copies and getting the QDRO squared away so we had the documents for today.
So it's just kinda been a whirlwind. I must say it is a very surreal moment standing in front of the judge as he asks you the questions and makes it official. I tried to redirect my mind to a song that gets me pumped up, I started to think of you all on the board as well but I couldn't surpress the emotions.
It's not BD it really isnt even a mini BD as I am hungry as hell ....I guess it is just more of an emotional release TBH it is slightly overwhelming like I don't even know what to do. I just feel like being still and enjoying the silence.
I know I am female and a bundle of emotion, but FWIW, I cried like a baby at my divorce hearing and the bailiff had to bring me a box of tissues. I think that release of emotion you had was necessary, and completely normal.
Also, on my D day, I spoiled myself, went shopping, and did whatever made me feel good. The next day I woke up and I actually felt a huge weight lifted. It was like a new start.
Hang in there buddy. The worst is over.
Oh, and have you ever tried kickboxing? I credit it to getting me through the whole D process. I continued on and off for 9 years until I injured myself last year (doing something else). It is one of the greatest releases of every emotion I ever had. And it helped to imagine both ExH's and OWW's heads on those bags. I scared people in class when I did that. I always felt better afterwards.
....I guess it is just more of an emotional release TBH it is slightly overwhelming like I don't even know what to do. I just feel like being still and enjoying the silence.