AS - yes, understood. Regardless, I cannot let this same situation as the past 8 month persist. My path to happiness is defiantly not staying the course...staying the current course is what got me back to basically square one (which I feel I am in). You are right.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Yup. Stop it all. Sorry to hear you're in limbo and it's been draining on you. You had her on the ropes and it was good, but seems like that wedding gifts meeting kinda derailed stuff.
I would just say - I can't do this anymore and go dark, NC, and get your GAL back.
Everything that needs to be said has been said by you multiple times. You know you want companionship. Go get it man! Don't let her drag you down.
I would just say - I can't do this anymore and go dark, NC, and get your GAL back.
i think Maika's suggestion is a good one... and your W seems to have already given you the go ahead to do this being that she says she wants you to be happy, and that you deserve someone who can give you what you want... she just may be having a difficult time taking that next step... if you let her go, she may actually feel relieved... letting her go just might be the kind thing to do... "cruel to be kind..."
She is still "stuck" not knowing what shes wants, but she knows she doesn't want to close the book on us yet. Script (am I right?). She keeps saying she wants the best for me, and she knows if we split up she will never find someone as good as me, and that I deserve better than she can give me.
"I don't know what I want" means "I really want all of these things, and I'm still trying to figure out how the get them. Please let me keep using you for the bits that OM isn't giving me, until I figure out where to get them somewhere else."
"I'll never find anyone as good as you" means "Please feel sorry for me, because of these horrible things that I have done (TO YOU!!!!) that have messed up my ability to extract what I need from you."
"You deserve better than me" is literal truth. One of the best pieces I've gotten over the last year is "When someone tells you something like this, BELIEVE THEM!"
She is still "stuck" not knowing what shes wants, but she knows she doesn't want to close the book on us yet. Script (am I right?). She keeps saying she wants the best for me, and she knows if we split up she will never find someone as good as me, and that I deserve better than she can give me.
"I don't know what I want" means "I really want all of these things, and I'm still trying to figure out how the get them. Please let me keep using you for the bits that OM isn't giving me, until I figure out where to get them somewhere else."
"I'll never find anyone as good as you" means "Please feel sorry for me, because of these horrible things that I have done (TO YOU!!!!) that have messed up my ability to extract what I need from you."
"You deserve better than me" is literal truth. One of the best pieces I've gotten over the last year is "When someone tells you something like this, BELIEVE THEM!"
EAST is 100% on with this.
The truth is she wants the best of all worlds. And she will happily stay in Limbo as long as you do. She is getting what she wants from you and what she wants from OM and her own life.
I know of an IRL situation like this from the WAW side. Even the WAW knew the LBS had to make a drastic move, or everything would simply have to blow up in her face with the possibility of losing everything.
She will happily stay in Limbo as long as you are chilling out there.
Just spent the last couple of days catching up on your whole sitch. We have similar things going on. You have no kids and you are still young. I’m younger than you still but I have a D with W so I will try and stick to dB and get my MR back for as long as I can stand to. You seem to have done some good work staying dark, keep it up. Start living your life without her, there is nothing more to be said. You have put it all out there! If you move on without her, she may or may not see this and come to her senses. Only then will things really start to change, at that point it will be up to YOU wether you want to reconcile or not. Take care Chris and please keep posting! Your story has helped me tremendously..
M:26 WAW:26 T:11 M:7 D:3 BD 1 10/16 I love you but not in love BD 2 2/18 I love you but... W moves out 3/18
Newly; that must have been and exciting read. If anything I hope you take my mistakes, my WW scripts, and the advice and knowledge the people on this board gave.
The last contact I had with W was me saying that I could not do this anymore and the half butt relationship is not what I want. She responded acknowledging it and agreeing it was hurting her to and it’s hard to continue this way.
I’m gonna go dark and gal until I need to make my decision.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
It is our 3rd wedding annv today. I have been dark, and only responding with one words if important for a couple weeks. W just texted me: "I was thinking about you today, and no mater what happens i will always LY."
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Hang in there Chris. i know its tough. I love how they think reminding us they still "love" us eases our pain. I think it eases their conscience to tell us that.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
