I think I've copied/pasted all of your responses from the other thread. Unfortunately, the format you had set up for quotes did not come over so I have done the quotes for you. I hope that I've done all of them for you. Your thread should be good to go now.
I have an exBF who was 13 years older than me. The age gap was always an issue for me, not least because he felt he had to tutor me. All. The. Time. It got old really quickly (did you see what I did with that?)
Nevertheless, we were good friends who made each other laugh a lot, and we have remained friends ever since. Now, 30 years later, we have recently had a conversation about large age gaps. His current partner is 20+ years younger and he is finding it very difficult being part of a couple where one is still focused on her career goals and the other just wants to enjoy the fruits of his labour. They don't understand each others' music, favourite movies, TV shows or cultural references. She thinks his friends (he holds onto them for a long time) are old fuddy duddies. He thinks her friends are self-involved, cut throat narcs. They are probably all somewhere in between, but you get the gist.
I realise that a lot of the attraction of a much older/younger person is the different perspective they can give. It can be really exciting to see and experience different things with somebody and, in the short term, has a lot to recommend. Long term though, I think shared experience, culture and values makes living with somebody much easier.
As far as red flags and A's go, I'm a little more on the wavelength of 25. Most of the time it would be a deal breaker, especially if I got an edited version of the whys and wherefores. If there was never a mention of guilt or remorse or how the A could've been avoided that would be it for me.
Also, like 25, a sense of humour. I'm really not interested in somebody who doesn't make me laugh. I suspect I'm not on my own there though
I haven't spoken with gg since those messages about me telling her I was intrigued by her and her asking about going out on St. Patty's day. I almost reached out to her this week, but fought my urge to reach out and decided to be patient instead, still not an easy thing for me to do.
Tuesday I went to a fishing seminar with my outdoors group, the seminar was about migratory fish that come up the rivers in my state, focusing on where/how/when to fish for them. I had never been to the Wildlife facility it was being held at, but when I put in the address to go there I realized it was right across the street from gg favorite irish pub. I thought about reaching out to her and seeing if she wanted to grab a bite to eat after the seminar but refrained. I don't know if I'm over analyzing, but I just don't get the "feeling" that she is into me, so decided that it would be better to let it be and see if she comes to me.
I don't know if I've mentioned it, but she has 3 children under the age of about 8 yrs old, they were at the first game night that I went to. Now ideally I would prefer to date someone without children, but it doesn't seem that there are many single woman in my dating age group that don't have children. Most of them have older children, most around the teen or preteen ages, which is fine to me, because if things become serious there wouldn't be that many years before the kids are older and we would be able to focus on our dreams. Anyway, I think I'd even be willing to raise a young child, but if they are that young, I think it would come with an understanding that we try and have a child. I really do enjoy raising kids, they make everything so special, seeing the world through their eyes, but if I was going to commit to having kids living at home into my 60's, I would want to have a biological child of my own. Wow, anyway, I went off on a tangent, let me get back on track.
I want to thank everyone for their responses regarding dating someone more or less than 10 yrs age difference. There were some interesting thoughts and experiences that I hadn't really considered. I think I'm just going to go with the flow. In other words, next time I meet someone I hit it off with, I'm not going to try and decide if I "should" ask them out, I'm just going to go for it. If they say yes, than we can decide how things move forward together. I'm going to remain open to all possibilities and see what works.
I'm closing on the house on Monday, so I've been and will be really busy for the next month or so. I've already rented a trailer on Sunday to load up my garage and move everything over to the new place on Monday, and took Tuesday off to get some of the repairs made that I got money back from the seller for, and i'll move more stuff. I will still have my current place until the end of April, so i'll have plenty of time, but lets face it, I just bought a house and want to get into it asap.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Congrats on the house! Nothing like setting up a place that feels uniquely yours.
In regards to age, I dunno. I think for some folks it matters and for some it doesn’t. If you are attracted to someone, then that’s what is important. I think the only time that age gaps really can become a huge issue is if one wants to have a family and the other person does not. But that works itself out as well. I’ve always dated folks my age and while all nice people, there were varying maturity levels.
Do what feels best for you.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Went out for St Pattys day, what a blast. They had horse drawn buggies going between bars, and got to go to some cool bars/clubs in my town that I had never been to or knew where there. We met at 5:30pm and I didn't leave until 2:30am. It's been a while since I got out on the dance floor, and tbh, I didn't want to leave it.
As for gg, pretty sure that idea is dead. I'm really not sure if she's interested, but she was sitting at the bar not talking, another guy was standing close behind her, not talking, so I went up to her and started talking to her, then the other guy joined in and within two minutes, her and him were only conversing with each other. I know she is Not into him, but ignoring me that way is a no go for me, so I walked away and hung out with others the rest of the night. Kind of bummed because she's the only one in the group that I had hopes for, but definitely not the end of the world cause I really enjoy hanging out with the group. Plus getting out so much will likely result in meeting someone else, or maybe not, just focusing on getting to know people and having fun.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Oh, forgot to mention I closed on the house today, pretty excited. Rented a small uhaul trailer and already moved my garage and grills to the new place and set everything up. Not planning to move in for another couple of weeks, but had the day off so took advantage.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thx guys, it's a good feeling to get my life back on tract..
Doodler, the boat may or may not end up in the living room, although I'm looking at getting my third boat, so I don't know how I'll choose which one to let in. But more importantly, the question is if I'll paint the front columns as barber poles and get dancers to cut hair :-)
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
