This used to be easier - and a lot more fun, cont.

[DonH]

You are not in crazy land Don. But what do YOU think is holding you back from dating more?

Very good question. Really does make me think but I'm still not certain. There are several reasons I guess. It's probably a combination of things.

1. I am beyond comfortable being by myself - in fact I often prefer it. Now I love to be with people as well. So it's not like I'm a recluse trying to avoid the world or anything but I really, truly am great with being alone. So that right there doesn't push me.

2. Just in life in general I'm rather picky. I think I've said before how about half the people I meet I have zero interest in even having a conversation with. I just don't. Another 40% is okay to do things with and I have fun with some of them but it's only the last 10% who I really, truly connect with. I have a large diversity of friends from all walks of life but only 10% do I really click with. It's the same with attraction for dating - frankly, most people I meet I'm just not interested in.

3. I don't think I come off as open. That's something I've been working more on. I just think though that if you asked people who know me, they would not think I'm open to a GF or an R.

4. I just really deep down don't want a full on R. Now, that said, if I met the right person that would likely change. But the "right person" would be more like me - just looking for something to do things with. Someone looking for their soulmate (at my age) or looking to get married - nope just not me anymore.

5. The times at least recently that I have been interested, either the other person is not, she lives too far away or I find out, sometimes rather quickly, she's not for me. I can't tell you how many I've asked out in the last 5 years not only do not want to date me - they have not dated ANYONE.

So put those together - fine being alone, not really looking, don't connect or get attracted to many, not really wanting a huge R and I guess I get what I get. If you're not hungry, you don't eat. If you don't need money, you may not work. There is just nothing really driving me and most of the time, I'm fine with that. It's mostly the social things that I miss having someone for. I really miss having someone to hold hands with hug, kiss, etc. But obviously not enough to make me take just anyone. I've dated or gotten to know I'll bet 25 women in the last 5 years and honestly only one or two do I wish things would have progressed. I would also miss having someone to talk and share things with but thankfully I have several great friends that fill that spot.

I know all of this could or would change if I met the right person. It just seems like such a needle in the haystack for me. Finding someone who I'm attracted to, who I fit with, who is not looking to rush things, who then is also interested in me, just doesn't seem to happen - at least not recently. And when it does, they are either married, already dating someone or live many miles away.

[job]

New Thread:

Meanwhile 12 Years Later