Doodler, I was seriously sick of listening to myself. I would write the post and be like "God, I am miserable!" There definitely has been creepy guys, but believe it or not, you are not one of them as V said. Mean, only when you call your ex girlfriend old.
V- You are right there is tough stuff, but in the mix there is fun. I do have lots of fun coming up. I guess the dark days never completely go away, but they do get less and less.
So, I have been suffering from severe tendonitis in my right hip due to over compensation from my left knee. I mean like excruciating pain. My PT is having me rest this week from the tough exercises that involved that size and she has been trying to work it out for me. I am still in so much pain, so I called my surgoesn office and they wouldn't give me a Medrol pack without me seeing them and that isn't until next week. SO I called my doctor friend and he took care of me.
I took the first whole days dose last night and at 2am I was WIDE awake, despite 2 doses of melatonin. I look at my phone and I see FF friended me on Snapchat and sent me a message. I never use snapchat, I only downloaded it so D10 can use the filters. So this made me even more wide awake. His message was "Hey". I wrote back "hey....." I know he read it at 4am but no response. THEN, I get a text from my BFF this morning with a screen shot of her FB messenger where he "waved" hi to her. She was like "wtf is this all about?" I told her he reached out to me too...
I have no idea what is up. Curiosity is killing me, because that is my nature. But it is all very strange. He was probably drunk. I know his family had a tragic loss. But the dude as far as I know is in an R. God knows what he wants. But to wave to my friend too?
Oh well. gearing up for the beer expo Saturday and a superbowl party with my favorite and ex husband and his wifey poo. Lord help me!
Please continue to post. This forum is here to help everyone navigate through the perils of divorce and after divorce. You've had a lot going on and need a safe place to vent.
Sure, you've had a lot going on...but you are human and you need a safe place to vent. Life isn't always a bed of roses and as we navigate the thorns, it helps to be able to post and get some feedback.
I am so sorry about your current situation w/your hip. I know it's too soon to try this, but try to walk normal for a bit, no limping. Limping tends to make the other limb over compensate. I had to learn how to "walk normal" after my partial knee replacement and I was able to see a difference in the "good knee" when I did this. Also, you may want to change the type of shoes you are wearing for a bit. Get something light weight. I purchased a pair of Sketchers and they helped a lot. Tennis shoes/running shoes tend to be a bit heavy.
I hope that you feel better soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
What a clever term for a brown nosed dirt bag of a woman.
I am sad about your hip, ouch, ouch, ouch. I want the treatment to work for you as pain truly is the last thing you need at this point.
I am sending you by best rainbow strength. And that something wonderful happens at the superbowl party and I know you will absolutely have your revenge body on.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Sorry about the hip. Hopefully you can get some relief on that issue soon. I think your posts are very honest and help others on this forum realize some things as they read your situation and thoughts and feelings. I think that is what this "community" is all about....people helping each other and learning from each other's experiences. I think we all tend to judge ourselves a little harsher, like your response to doodler when you said you were tired of listening to yourself. Girl, I rarely hit submit on a post without thinking that anyone who reads it and isn't in my head knowing exactly what is happening is going to think I'm the biggest freaking looney toon on the planet. You know what I mean? Anyway, hope you had a fabulous weekend and look forward to hearing all about it.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I do feel comfortable posting here. I've appreciated every 2x4 over the years, the support, the candor, everything. Some days I hate reading what I write. At this point, I wish I was coming on here telling everyone about my wonderful new husband and step children and new house. About how wonderful my post D M is and what I have learned and all that. It just isn't how it's worked out so far. But I do make a promise, I will not disappear when those things happen if they ever do.
The first big dose of steroids felt good and now that I am tapering the pain is returning a bit. However, the steroids also helped me knee! I have been walking like a champ, haha! Although the ex asked why I was still limping yesterday.....
So, I have some stories to tell if you all want to hang around for them. Probably the most interesting is how our one big happy family Superbowl party went. I'll skip the details and head to the higlights. ExH was playing poker with the guys when I walked in. When he was done I joked with him and OWW about who the single guys were. He tells me when I walked in the guys asked "who is that? is she single?" and Ex tells them "yup, that's my ex wife!!!" he retells this story to me and it was so weird. It was like he was bragging about it. Yes, arse, and you traded me in for THAT. OWW thinks she is my best buddy, sitting with me and talking to me and kissing me goodbye. Kind of makes me throw-up in my mouth a little.
I observed their interactions. My ex basically plays his game on the phone the whole time. They sat next to eachtoher on the couch, he plays his game, she flips through her phone and she tried to be affectionate with him. They have never done that in front of me before, but she kept trying to touch his leg, or put her arm around him, but he is oblivious and does not reciprocate. He used to be very into physical touch. A hand holder, a cuddler, a hugger and a kisser. I guess he grew out of that. There was one point where D10 was sitting between them on the couch and OWW was getting all cuddly with her, and I wasn't the easiest to watch.
If you are still with me, now to the FF situation. I know I should have not thought twice about the drunken reach outs. But they got in my head, and in my dreams. I came to realize he also sought me out on IG where he had unfollowed me and made his account private. I hadn't been on in a long time and all of a sudden I found that someone started following me again. SO I requested to follow back! I also left him a message. Shouldn't have, as I saw he went and blocked me on Sanpchat.
The message read " I see you have a think for drunk messaging me and regretting it in the morning, and even this time went so far as to contact my friend. If you legit need a friend to talk to, unblock my number on text and reach out that way. Otherwise if you are playing games, I am simply too old for them (pun sort of intended)." I confess to using his nickname I had for him (well, it's his firehouse nickname I adopted).
So, of course, he goes and unfollows me and blocks me there too. I am sort of glad. I don't know what his weirdo deal is. Maybe because it's been a year since our first date when we began our short and sweet R. Maybe he was just so drunk and having a hard time with the loss in his family, he did something stupid and regretted it. I don't know. It makes me feel crappy when he reaches out and has such regret. I'd rather never hear from him again, and hopefully I won't. And next time, I will not respond. There is nothing to be gained from it.
I'm pretty tired and emotionally drained today. All the people who chose someone else I have been exposed to over the weekend and it kind of wears one out.
My ex basically plays his game on the phone the whole time. They sat next to eachtoher on the couch, he plays his game, she flips through her phone and she tried to be affectionate with him. They have never done that in front of me before, but she kept trying to touch his leg, or put her arm around him, but he is oblivious and does not reciprocate. He used to be very into physical touch. A hand holder, a cuddler, a hugger and a kisser. I guess he grew out of that.
I'd rather be happily alone by myself than unhappily alone with someone else any day...
As for seeing oww cuddling with D10, I understand that uneasiness, but in the long run I think it's better for D10 than being ignored. First time I saw the new boyfriend, I wasn't sure it was but figured it was since they showed up at my sons wrestling meet together, he went up to talk to my son for a few minutes before they realized I was in the crowd. It made me very uneasy seeing that, I would of much preferred my son not meet any new R until we were at least D, but I realized that I'd prefer him be friendly than an azz..
And, I don't know if your ex was bragging that you were his ex, I'm gonna say he was (hmm, not sure how to say this nicely or pg) male genitalia blocking you... after a comment like that, he was probably pretty confident you wouldn't have an opportunity to hit it off with any of the single men at the party.
Hopefully you were able to have a good time overall at the party.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Hey coconut, I did have a good time at the party. Luckily, I am social, can fit in with most crowds, ect. I was tired though, from having been at the beer expo the night before.
It a, thankful OWW is good with her, absolutely, of course. I always want what's best for her, that's why I do what I do.
And it's funny, I did say "you told them I was your ex-W? my chances are over!' yup, he was totally c@ck-blocking. OWW told me they were too immature for me anyways......
This is my life! It's kind of hilarious sometimes.
I want to give you an "outstanding" for the message you sent FF - well most of it. You straight up called him out. You appeared strong, matter of fact, and bold. I would have left out the if you need a friend unblock me, comment. Perhaps if you need someone to talk to I can recommend some outstanding therapists you might want to speak with. OkAy, perhaps not that snarky but you get the point. You owe him nothing and most certainly should not be a soft place friend for him to fall to.
I have to wonder if some part of you is hoping that whatever crazy stretch of life he was going through is over and he might come back to normal - and to you? It's a normal reaction for many and I understand it but you need more and better.
G, he is showing you who he really is. I know we want to remember the good times and any piece of you still clinging to him, small as it may be, is remembering that along with who you hoped he would be. That's not who he is. Who he is, is the guy who breaks up over text and then blocks you. Who he is, is the guy who for whatever reason reaches out in the middle if the night, then runs away again. He's a runner - clearly. I'll bet that's how he ends it with current GF. The pattern is there.
Keep standing tall and strong saying, dude, what's your deal? Ive moved on, you should too.
I still give you a B+ for that response. Perhaps it's now time to block HIM to get an A!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I am happy to read that you had a good time on Sunday.
As for the FF, I think you did the right thing. It was time to call him out for his crazy making behavior. I think he's got some serious issues w/commitment and he contacts you to see if you'll take his bait. He needs ego kibbles and he knows that you are a wonderful person who enjoyed his company, so what better way to get additional ego kibbles than to contact you. The next time, yes, I do think he'll do it again...but not for a while, just ignore him. The sooner he realizes that you are on to his little ego kibble game, the sooner he will realize that you are one smart lady who doesn't have time for immature men.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
