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A Message from Michele
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Re: Answering the Call [Re: HaWho] #2777389
02/01/18 05:20 AM
02/01/18 05:20 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,907
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kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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Posts: 15,907
Talk to your attorney AND your tax accountant about this. If it benefits you (by negating his claim of when the marriage ended) then file jointly. BUT - you would likely come out ahead if you filed separately. You might negotiate some agreement with him for him to pay you half the difference of the refund you would get if you filed separately. Since it hasn't been negotiated yet who gets to claim the kids on their taxes, it might be easier to file jointly, but you want to make sure he doesn't steal the whole refund (if there is one).

Btw, I'm no lawyer, but it seems to me it would be pretty difficult to claim the marriage ended 2 years ago if you've continued to file jointly as married AND been living in the same house???

Re: Answering the Call [Re: kml] #2777419
02/01/18 08:13 AM
02/01/18 08:13 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,556
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HaWho Offline OP
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HaWho  Offline OP
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Posts: 1,556
Thanks KML. I will ask my attorney. Our tax accountant is very good friend's with my FIL so I don't feel he's neutral.

As for h's claim that the marriage ended in 2015, I have a text from him from THIS September where he proudly says he is first to wish me Happy Anniversary again this year! (He said it first last year too and admitted so in this one text. That means he considered us married in 2017 and 2016.)

Much confusion on his part with timelines and all; like those Dali paintings with the dripping clocks.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
Re: Answering the Call [Re: HaWho] #2777420
02/01/18 08:40 AM
02/01/18 08:40 AM
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 151
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Surv1ve Offline
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Surv1ve  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 151
What is a sunset clause exactly, AndrewP?

(You know, as the lesser earner who is 1 year short of that formula at this time...)


BD#1: "marriage is over" 9/14/2016
H in basement 24/7 with EX/OM
BD#2: 3/20/2017 I plan to move out "soon" I LRT
me: 42, H, 41, EX/OM, 37
D 10, Son 7
M to H = 20 years
EX/OM moved in 10 years ago
Re: Answering the Call [Re: Surv1ve] #2777426
02/01/18 09:02 AM
02/01/18 09:02 AM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,907
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kml Offline
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I think a sunset clause means the alimony expires at some point. In my state it's typically one half the length of the marriage for a long marriage, and permanent alimony is rare unless the spouse was always a SAHM and is older and/or disabled.

Re: Answering the Call [Re: HaWho] #2777429
02/01/18 09:19 AM
02/01/18 09:19 AM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 9
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Stuck72 Offline
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Posts: 9
You will have to file as either joint or married filing separately for this tax year because you haven't lived apart for the past 6 months (otherwise you would be eligible for head of household - a big benefit you'll be eligible for next year). A joint return would result in a lower total tax bill and since those are joint assets, so is the return. The exception is if you think you are at risk of liability for him cheating the IRS. Then you would definitely want to file separately.


Me 45 H 46
At bomb T 22 M 13
D14 S12

H fell in love 2/14
H moved out 11/14
H bought a house 8/15
Legal sep 9/15, final 12/15 - I filed
No moves toward D

Re: Answering the Call [Re: AndrewP] #2777454
02/01/18 12:15 PM
02/01/18 12:15 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,597
USA
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Gordie Offline
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Posts: 2,597
USA
HaWho,

These d laws vary state by state so take all advice hear with some caution. Many states have also gone through alimony reform so even a recently D friend may not be up to date. New federal tax law does affect deductibility of alimony starting for D closed after 12/31. What is most beneficial to you re tax filing should be addressed with an accountant. Custody should be determined by what is in the best interest of the kids not what minimizes his child support payments. If he is being completely unreasonable, Id move quickly to mediation as the out of court settlement back and forth can drag out and rack up huge legal bills (I learned this the hard way). Not wanting to sell stock for a few years? That sound like b s as long term capital gains only requires a 12 month holding period.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Re: Answering the Call [Re: Gordie] #2777463
02/01/18 01:42 PM
02/01/18 01:42 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,907
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kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 15,907
Agree about the stock, and he could surely transfer half to your name?

Now if it is stock options from an employer that's a different matter and you should consult an accountant about that.

Yes, deductibility of alimony has changed, with the new law HE would have to pay taxes on it and you wouldn't ( used to be the opposite).

Also don't count on your lawyer to give you tax advice. It's not usually their specialty and although my divorce lawyer was fine in all other areas, I had a better grasp on the financials than he did.

Re: Answering the Call [Re: kml] #2777465
02/01/18 02:30 PM
02/01/18 02:30 PM
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 229
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skyhigh Offline
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Posts: 229
Don't forget to protect financially the future of your children, ask to have money put every year on a college fund. It should be part of the divorce settlement also: who will be paying for the braces if they are needed, the special expenses (sports, camps, kids cellphones...), health expenses... driving lessons... the first car... if the dog is sick who will be the vet fees.
Take your time, make a list.

Look at it as a business deal, I got this advice from a friend who went though a very tough divorce , he tried to play nice until the divorce was done and then he stopped paying for a lot of items, but since they were not part of the divorce settlements she couldn't do nothing.

Last edited by job; 02/02/18 01:58 AM. Reason: added spaces between paragraphs

Me 52+ WH 57+
Married 20 +
Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
Re: Answering the Call [Re: skyhigh] #2777500
02/02/18 02:00 AM
02/02/18 02:00 AM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,560
Southern Maryland
job Offline

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job  Offline

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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 27,560
Southern Maryland
HaWho,

Please add one more "who will" to your list:

Who will be carrying your sons on their health insurance plan? Will the other spouse be paying towards the plan that is being carried by the other spouse?

Definitely, it your situation is now a business deal that has gone completely south. Try to keep your emotions out of the negotiations as much as possible. The calmer you are, the better.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Re: Answering the Call [Re: kml] #2777564
02/02/18 07:28 AM
02/02/18 07:28 AM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,694
Massachusetts
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bttrfly Offline
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bttrfly  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 3,694
Massachusetts
Options are marital assets at least in my state


M 20+ T25+
S 15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
H moved out 4/24/15
D Final 12/23/16
When God gives you a new beginning don't repeat the same old mistakes. It's 2020, anything could happen; eat dessert first!!!!
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