I'll throw something nice in here. My dad and his wife and her mother came by Saturday and spent the day together and we all went out to a very nice dinner. The restaurant used to be a family favorite when I was little and we would go often. It went from that Hibachi place to a nice steakhouse last year. My dad and I were reminiscing about when we use dot eat dinner there together as a family and my dad began to talk to about my mom. In a loving way. He was really genuine about it. I said "you know she loved you very much, right?" ANd he said " I loved her too" It meant a lot for me to hear.
And D10 had her dad on speakerphone yesterday and he says "did you hear about superbowl sunday?" I said "yes, your sister invited us and I said yes, I am going" he makes a point to say "I was the one who invited you, I told my sister to. I think we are all going to have fun!" He totally wants to hang out with me because I am much cooler than his wife. HAHAHAHA.
And D10 had her dad on speakerphone yesterday and he says "did you hear about superbowl sunday?" I said "yes, your sister invited us and I said yes, I am going" he makes a point to say "I was the one who invited you, I told my sister to. I think we are all going to have fun!" He totally wants to hang out with me because I am much cooler than his wife. HAHAHAHA.
Funny! You know sometimes you post things about your XH that remind me so very closely of mine. We officially separated in early Oct. of 2014. Toward the end of that month, or first of Nov (don't really remember which now), his sister invited me to her house for Thanksgiving because when we'd been married, we had always done Thanksgiving day with his family at his sister's house then Thanksgiving with my family on the weekend, because that is what worked best for both sides of the family. Anyway, SHE called and invited me, assured me I was most welcome, they all wanted me there, etc., so I told her I greatly appreciated the invite and that I would seriously think about it (I didn't want to just say yes out of obligation because I still loved his family, but I really needed to think about how my interaction with him would go and if it would make it awkward for everyone else). I ultimately told her I'd come. Anyway, now that I have rambled and made your post a really long story about me, he got mad at me shortly after Thanksgiving when I showed up at his sister's house, after being invited, but I did NOT invite him to go to my family's gathering with me. He came to my house and read me the riot act about my trying to turn my family against him and made this big fat deal about how it was MY obligation to make sure he still had a relationship with my family because the only reason I got to go to his sister's was because HE had talked her into inviting me and he wanted me there. What the h3ll ever, you arrogant ba$tard! His sister invited me because she still cared about me and quite honestly was mad at him for the way he ended things. She and I are STILL friends and she's STILL mad at him and blames him for how things ended between me and him.
Sorry for stealing your post, but I really said all that to say that I have been in a very similar situation and I kind of had the same thought at the time....that he preferred to be around me than his tart even though he left me for her. And, obviously he STILL does, because while he never talks to me or reaches out to me, he's constantly asking the girls about me and commenting on stuff that I post on facebook. Get over yourself, dude.....you left and I moved on!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Popping in shortly during lunch. Today I was called into my managers office because the big VP has complained about me. We moved cubes and I am right in front of the VP's office. She passes by all the time. I got the worst spot. Anyways, she went ot my boss and told her I am never in my cube (the only place I go is to stretch, go to the bathroom, or I was helping a newer coworker with something yesterday and was in his cube for a while), I am at my coworkers cube too much (we work on the same area from time to time and we have to discuss things because)and I am on my phone too much (actually, no, I listen to Pandora on my phone and our wifi hasn't been working in the building so I keep making sure I am not knocked off). I do my work, I am productive, and I am helpful to my team members. My boss, who is now a director is scared of the VP, so basically she never stood up for me and told me to be extra extra careful. So, now I sit in my cube, don't talk to anyone. I am scared to go to the bathroom, I am not walking as much as I should, which is how I got this stupid contracture in my knee I am working to hard to get out, and I feel defeated.
I have always been a hard worker. I have always been a helpful resource to those I have worked with. This is disheartening.
Lemonade out of this lemon? I am even more fired up to find another position.
Oh, and my D10 has been struggling in science. She got a bad grade on a quiz and flipped and obsessed and cried.... I emailed the teacher and she gave me additional resource so I can help her. Well, my very bright kid found a huge discrepancy in the book and with the online resource. It's a new science program this year, and now the teacher has brought it to all the 5th grade teachers and they are seeing what they can do about this issue. The teachers never caught this, but my girl did. I am proud of her.
Oh, and FF's sister did not unfriend me She is back on FB now, she went off for a while. There was a tragic loss in their family. she posted pictures of the last time the "family" (incluling this aunt and uncle that passed) which also included the girlfriend. She became quite a part of the family from the beginning. I also found out she lives in my very small town and is 23 years old. Much more age appropriate for him. And he put on ALOT of weight. I did post to his sister that I am very sorry for her loss. FB is sadly a way to see my ex' and the women they have now, which are all right after me. So I make a note of note of not going on often.
I've taken to cleaning out my office/spare bedroom and decluttering the house, so that keeps me busy at night. I to bed at 9:30 and wake up at 5:45 now. It helps. Hopefully taking a drive to visit a friend this weekend. I can use a little distraction.
Other people's posts really have me thinking lately. First, I read Zues posts and I feel his passion. His soul is alive. He nurtures what feeds his soul. I miss that feeling. I was always passionate about my work as a nurse, working with others. I am not doing that right now. Working out often and testing my limits and getting out and trying new activities made me feel alive. I am very slowly gaining that back. Very slowly. Very very slowly, lol. In the short time I have had the chance to be someone's romantic partner, I loved it. Don't have that right now. So, really, I need to find a way to do what I am passionate about again. I am trying for more volunteer opportunities and maybe a second job. But I need a passion, there is no doubt.
Then, over on another thread discussing child custody schedules, I realized something. My daughter will most likely not be having anymore overnights during the week with her father come high school. His house is too far away from the high school and she has to be there too early. He won't mind losing the week nights. I'll be ok with it, as she will be more self-sufficient. I hope she is ok with it and will be very involved in activities and friends. A lot of the future is pretty unknown still.
AT work we have an intranet that the whole system has access too. There is a section for "shout-outs" where you can thank a fellow employee and say something positive. I was going to wait until I was done, but yesterday I decided To give my PT and the assistant a shout out. I wanted them to know the way they go above and beyond is appreciated and I wanted their manager to see that too. I know we all go to work for our paycheck and do what is expected of us and that shouldn't really require extra praise, but they do go above and beyond and I know they would love to feel appreciated. It's anonymous, but from my post, they figured out it was me. I came in and they both said "it was you!!!!" they hugged me and both said they were having crappy days and it really made their day.
SO yes, I like to make other people happy. It's partially selfish, but it mostly comes from a place of empathy. I know how it feels to be down in the dumps, unappreciated or just depressed. And if I could make one person's day a better day, well, then I made a difference in this world. That does feed my soul too.
Don't get me wrong, I am no mother Theresa. I will flip off the first person who cuts me off or does something stupid on the road and I will react to someone who pisses me off. But I must say, in my older age, I am much more mindful of what kind of day these people might be having and I try not to be such an A hole.
Got some fun stuff coming up the next few weekends. And hopefully a trip to FL the first weekend in March.
One of the things I value most about this whole DB thing is the insight, advice, wisdom I get from other people's posts. I don't necessarily always comment, but I read all of them and I sometimes find things that speak to me in a certain way. I'm always grateful for the group here and the words everyone posts, as I think in some ways, it has helped me heal and get back to a place that I really needed to find my way back to.
I LOVE your work "shout-out" thing. In fact, I think I'm going to bring that up here. We have a morale issue and it would be so super helpful....at least I think it would. Who doesn't like a little pat on the back or atta boy once in awhile? Lord knows I do! I read something recently that said you shouldn't reward yourself with food because you aren't a pet and it just left me feeling a little deflated, but I realized I do that. LOL So, atta boys would be better. Now, an ice cream cone from Baskin Robbins will TASTE better, but the atta boy will feel better. LOL
Happy weekend, G..................enjoy your weekends and hang in there on the rest. You are fabulous!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I have decided to stay off my own thread for a little while. While I decided to stop sharing the bad stuff, I should at least post something good. I am visiting my friend in FL the first weekend in March. I got everything worked out to take a Friday and a Monday off, and the airfare was dirt cheap. I need some fun and sun. And I can't wait to meet her boyfriend. There will be eating, drinking, beaching.... everything I love! Having something to look forward too helps.
There is more stuff going on that is my life, but I am going to pretend like it's not happening.
There is more stuff going on that is my life, but I am going to pretend like it's not happening.
Ginger,
You shouldn't hold back just because there are mean people on this forum. There's this one creepy guy, I won't mention his name, but his name has two d's and two o's and he's weird.
I'll get things going by telling you about a travesty that happened to me recently. A few nights ago I had a dream about an old girlfriend that I had way-back in my late teens. I haven't thought about her in decades, but she suddenly appears in my dream. She looked just like she did when she was 18 except that she had tattoos all over one of her arms.
I decided to try to see if I could find her online. I knew she'd married and divorced at least once, but I only knew her maiden name. It took some work, but I finally found her on Facebook. It brought up a lot of old feelings. It was really strange; I remembered how it felt to be in love with her. The range of emotions that I felt was very unusual for me. But, you know what the worst part was? I could look at her picture and I know it's her, but she's an old lady now. I'm just a young buck and she's an old lady. What the h3ll? I couldn't possibly be an old guy could I?
