I dont know. Im not the most experienced of daters but i think that might be the problem. Red on a first date may be screaming "Easy" and you probably will not get taken seriously.
Happy New Year, Ginger! I took a bit of a break from the boards during me week off so I'm catching up. I don't know that I can really add anything to all the great advice you already got. I will say, though, that your online guy's story about the women wanting hookups and sending him nudes didn't throw up red flags for me like it did for some of the others. I have 2 very close male friends who are delving into online dating and both have told me stories and even shown me some of the totally appalling, forward messages they have received. I do think, for the most part, the women they are receiving messages from are trying to catfish them, but interestingly, one of them showed me a message from a woman wanting a hookup and including some very sexy photos and I actually KNEW the woman, so I know she's not fake. Scary! I think men and women, in general, can be bolder online because there is that guise of anonymity so it is easier to say things and act in a manner that might be different from their normal persona. All that said, I think you have your eyes open and I think that you have been given some great advice by those that weighed in in a more timely manner, so I think you will be fine on this one, however it goes.
Here's to a wonderful 2018 for you and your daughter, G. You deserve it! Oh and I'm waiting for doodler to show up in his red dress with white feather boa, because this I have GOT to see!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Oh and I totally agree on that "why are you still single" question. I get asked that all the time. Here's my thing: I know what I have to offer and I'm confident in who I am, just like I know you are, G. I'm still single because I haven't found the one who deserves me just yet. But I will, if it is meant to be. Or I won't, if it isn't meant to be, but either way, I'm NOT settling. I deserve a good guy and I'll hold out for that. In the meantime, I have a laundry list of reasons that I now randomly pull from my hat when asked that because it is such a stupid question, I feel like it deserves an equally stupid answer. My favorites include: "Well, when men find out I snapped and killed my last husband because he ate the last of the peanut butter, they tend to get scared off, especially if they like peanut butter."; "I don't know, but why don't we phone a friend and take a poll of why ex-husbands 7-10 think I'm still single?"; "Because I'm too much woman and most men aren't man enough to handle ALL of THIS (motioning to self in an overly-dramatic way)."
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Happy New year my friends! Hi Sotto and Dawn!. I am definitely not emotionally involved or attached to any of this. Actually, I am rapidly losing interest. It's a very weird situation. Supposedly he left yesterday for Brazil for business. Which can be believed. he's sent pictures that indicate he is real. Say everything was absolutely real, his situation certainly isn't ideal. I told him to let me know when he gets back and that really would like to meet to see if we click in person. If it doesn't happen, I'll know something is up.
As far as the rest of the online dating? Well, I got a very serious request to participate in a gang bang. I politely turned it down. Some others don't seem awful, but certainly lack conversation skills. Yeah, I don't think I am going to be successful with this. I know I do better just meeting people.
MY goals right now is to seriously revisit this whole GAL thing. It's been really difficult because my GAL revolves around physical activity. It's been very difficult on me. I need something social in my life, group related, so I am looking into more volunteering, maybe a book club, just something. I really don't know where exactly I am going with this. I wish like heck that I was physically capabale of what I was a year ago. It's been really rough. The recovery is slow, sometimes painful, and very limiting. But I know I need something social in my life.
Work, that is just getting worse. Still praying for a miracle. The plus side is I have earned an extra week of vacation this year.
Something happened NYE that pissed me off, but I can't talk about it here, but it made me realize that I can say no to things, and I can put my wants and needs first every now and then. I need to stop worrying about making everyone else happy and maybe focusing on my needs a little. I also had been making a huge effort in not dwelling in the pain. I hadn't cried in a while, but on NYE I let out an ugly cry. It was cleansing.
I sort of feel like I am back to square one in my life and I am sorta lost. I just need to channel some patience here. Some answer will come in time.
And, oh my god dawn, I love your ansers to the single question. I think I need to steal them the next time I am asked. And I will surely be asked again.
For now, A snow day because there is a snowbomb here. We took our computers home just in case, but since the place [censored] now, we weren't allowed to work from home. So I am forced to take a day off. Oh well, I'll finally get this Christmas crap back in storage.
GAL is definitely a good thing. And, I know you said yours involves physical activity, but maybe you can find some other things too. Maybe this is a push to try different things...things a bit outside your comfort zone. Who knows? I'm still working on GAL and it is a work in progress, at least for me.
Feel free to borrow my single answers or tweak them to fit you as needed. As I said in the post, it is such a completely ridiculous question that I think it deserves an equally ridiculous answer so I try very hard to give the most outlandish answers I can think of when I'm asked.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Have you thought of dancing Ginger? Social and active, and mostly singles dance. If you dance something like salsa, you'll just rotate among each guy in the class and it's a nice way to meet people.
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Im imagining that you are feeling like i do right now. Im stuck inside. Cant go any where cause of the weather. Haven't been able to maintain my normal routine cause son had been off school amd these past months have been busy. I feel frustrated that i gained a few pounds over the holidays and i cant exercise not because i dont want to, but because i cannot get outside. And an exercise tape is challenging cause by the time i put my son to sleep it will be late and i over utilized his tv and 6computer use today to get other things done.
Its not easy getting back in the mode. But you were there before and can get back there again. Go easy on yourself now, even though you are not where you want to be. You are healing and you will get there. Make some smaller snd eqsier goals for now that will make youbfeel good till you can get back to your norm. Knowing that something no matter how small is better then nothing.
I thought about salsa dancing before the injury and surgery. I can't even consider doing that until 9 months post-op. I am at 4 and a half now. I am just so restricted. But I really need to find some sort of group that doesn't involve so much physical activity. Even though physical activity is what I love. It really stinks.
Soo. I caught him the scam! Don't worry guys, I knew it deep down, I wasn't interested and it was interesting watching it develop. I wont get into too many details. But I became extra suspicious when he had to take and emergency trip to Brazil. Then his phone broke and he had his "daughter" text me to give me him email. Funny, she has a NJ number, but does not live here. I got his name through the email and I did a search. H pretty much stole pictures. Even has a fake website for the "company" he works for. Well, after confessing these very strong feelings for me, he tells me he urgently needs I tunes giftcards to do his work down there and I need to get them to him right away. I obviously knew he was caught. I asked him how much did they need to be worth and he told me $300. So I basically called him out, blocked him from everything and reported him as a phishing scam. Oh, he did tell me he was polish and lived there most of his life. In his emails, his English and grammar were awful, but not because he is polish, he is very far removed form even living in this country.
So, just when I thought the priest was my best online dating story, or the guy with the black amex who would only let me eat the bread basket at a resauraunt were my best stories, I have topped it. I think it is safe to say, I have zero luck with online dating. Even though I knew something was up, I just haven't gotten much of a break with it.
It's awfully sad. There is some lonely single mother out there who may really think this guy is in love with her and she will send him the gift cards. He preyed on the wrong one this time.
The universe seems to never ever stop testing me. It is nothing but laughable at this point. Part of me just wants to give up on everything good and enjoyable in this life, but then the crappy negative forces in the universe won. I will win this. I will not be defeated.
Oh, and we made our move at work. I got the worst cube, it's right by the printer, far from all my other coworkers, right outside the VP's office, and she doesn't really like me, and it's the highest traffic area, and everytime someone walks buy my monitors shake. But, I come here for the paycheck and that is about it. I keep praying for a change.
I am truly back at square one again. Trying to rebuild my life. Alone, of course. I did have a nice night Friday night with some Mom's from school (D10's besties mom invited me for a wine tasting party) and there were some school mom's and her sister and her cousin's which were a riot. Even after the wine tasting part was over, we continued to drink and laugh and talk, and it was really good for me. The hangover the next day was not. But it was worth it. D10 and I had lunch together, I napped, then I took her to the movies and it was a great time. Sunday we hung out and her aunt took her to a play, so I had a little free time to go to the gym.
I have IC today which has been a while and I need it. I have some major realizations lately I need help dealing with.
Another Monday, another crazy day where I have to feed my poor daughter dinner in the waiting room of PT. She is a trooper.
Yup. you have some great stories. Itune gift cards?!! lol. Lots of people run into those scanners. It could definitely be fun f'ing with them, if one had the time.
I know a lot of people that have had success with OLD but it sometimes takes a bit of time. There has to be normal, regular people like us on there, since we are on there...Ok maybe not normal, but good hearted. It just takes some weeding through. The guy I am dating had some crazy stories too. And he was patient and then I came into his life! (Joke..and he is only just discovering my neurosis and quirks anyway)
Hang in there. You are an awesome person. Filled with lots of life experiences. These little blips just make you more colorful, soulful, and empathetic.
