AS, I can say this, I will not start a R talk until she does. BUT that is not to say I do not sit here right now and want to go ask her whats going on... this is the struggle I think many LBS go through. She is somewhat talkative but not overly friendly, I certainly think she is still not sure but time will tell.
In the mean time I believe I am going to have to make a decision soon b/c I do not want to live like this. I know patience is the key but this is the hard part. The good thing is she is not as snarky with me as she was 4-5 months ago.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
In the mean time I believe I am going to have to make a decision soon b/c I do not want to live like this. I know patience is the key but this is the hard part.
Well, that's your choice, but maybe you should remember something you told her:
Quote:
One funny tidbit I will share with you, right after BD I said to her you know right after the judge swings his gavel and says you are officialy D'ed you will immediately be happy. Its like magic...
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Nothing new as far as communication with W but she did say happy birthday yesterday. The kids bought me a new Iphone and I was very happy. They wanted to take me to dinner today but I was not up to it considering I went out with friends last night. Where we live the temps are really low and I just do not feel like going out in this weather.
My W is working pretty much every day because this is her busy season. I think this is a good thing so that I do not have to deal too much with her. I believe this may be the beginning of the end, on my end. I just do not know what to do at this point every time I think I want to just go file something hits me and I say just wait. It certainly is a roller coaster.
So some men I have talked to who have gone through this all say the same thing, keep your mouth shut and give her time. I can see now how pressuring her was completely wrong. I am no vet on here but boy every time I see a new post it looks just like mine when I first found this page.
Questions: At this point do I bring up R talk?
I want her to pay her own cell phone bill, how do I ask her?
We have a huge party (her family) coming up soon she has yet to ask me to go, do I ask her about it? We have been talking about this event since before BD.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Why do you want to do this? The last R talk we had was about 6 months ago, I hated how she made me feel and I vowed to never do it again. My current stance and one that will not change is that i will not initiate anything. If she wants to talk she knows how to get a hold of me. If she had no problems telling me she wanted a D etc. then she should have no problems telling me she has had a change of heart.
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I want her to pay her own cell phone bill, how do I ask her?
I stopped paying my W's cell phone bill about 4 months ago. I sent her an email letting her know it was due, what the password was to the account and that she needed to pay it going forward. It came up a few weeks later at my oldest's soccer game and I simply told her that it was one of my personal boundaries and I did not want to be involved with it any more. She never mentioned it to me again.
So some men I have talked to who have gone through this all say the same thing, keep your mouth shut and give her time. I can see now how pressuring her was completely wrong. I am no vet on here but boy every time I see a new post it looks just like mine when I first found this page.
Questions: At this point do I bring up R talk?
Why at this point?
Quote:
I want her to pay her own cell phone bill, how do I ask her?
"Considering the situation, I will no longer be paying for your phone bill".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
So some men I have talked to who have gone through this all say the same thing, keep your mouth shut and give her time. I can see now how pressuring her was completely wrong. I am no vet on here but boy every time I see a new post it looks just like mine when I first found this page.
Questions: At this point do I bring up R talk?
Why at this point?
Because at this point its been nearly 7 months and I want to move on with my life. I know this is something that takes a long time but I am human and I do get a little frustrated.
Quote:
I want her to pay her own cell phone bill, how do I ask her?
"Considering the situation, I will no longer be paying for your phone bill".
I suspect she will threaten D again but I am better prepared for this response.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
It is hard, I couldn't imagine doing this in-house. I have struggled with patience at times, wanting to throw in the towel and just file myself. I didn't because if it is true that the general rule of thumb is 1 month for every year of MR I would have called it quits in the middle of my journey.
Yes, its a little strange here because she will go out as a family but will not go anywhere with just me. She has stated in the past that she does not want to move out and doesnt want me to move out. I will say this though, she is def much nicer than in months past. If the rule of thumb is 1 month for every year of marraige then I another 18 months of this. Yes it is frustrating and all my children keep saying is do not give up, they think she is just going through something.
Can't run mile 4 without running miles 1,2,and 3.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
