Cherry. Getting on with a few bumps

[Cherry]

Thanks DDJ, i think you’re right. I just need to acknowledge that. Accept that, and keep pushing ahead. Maybe it’s the fact he’s moved on long before me when i don’t even feel half ready to get out there. Probably because I’m the one with the scars and the responsibilities.

[AndrewP]

Cherry! Lovely to hear from you. It sounds like you are doing well over-all. Starting a business - WOW! With two wee ones I'm surprised you have time to breathe much less get involved in a venture like that.

As far as your H goes - it's annoying that he's still playing those games. I don't have any good advice for you other than my usual one of being true to yourself and looking for what is best for the kids in the long term.

Thanks again for checking in and for being a bright light for me on a very stormy night.

((Cherry))

[Cherry]

What can i day, I’m a sucker for punishment. It hasn’t been an easy ride. What with caring for my mil, and lots of therapy for baby; i am very busy. But i wanted to carve out some success for my children and build us some stability and a future.

He is something else. I guess it could be game playing. Either way, still looking foggy over his end. So i shall just have to crack on with creating love and light in my own corner.

[DDJ]

Scars are a sign that you have lived, stretch marks show that too. It shows that you have brought life into this world. He moved on a long time ago, some people take longer to, and again, not everyone can finish first. Not everyone can finish last, like him either.

You wouldn't have what you have if you weren't meant to have them. This is a lasting legacy to your children that you can survive anything, that when the world knocks you over, you will get up and fight.

[Vanilla]

Lovely Cherry

How are you and the baby.

Hugs

V

[Cherry]

Hey V, I’m doing alright thank you. Super super busy, but that keeps me focussed. Baby is doing alright, seeing a lot of different therapists for her, but she’s doing amazing. A true little fighter!

Just journaling here, but i note whenever it seems that the stbx has some kind of interest in his life, he follows the same patterns. Super cagey, grumpy, falls out with his mom for no reason, goes cold towards me (even though he was trying to proposition me less than two weeks ago), spends little time with the children.

I know that all of this in the grand scheme of things, he’s loosing out. He’s damaging relationships with real family, and missing out on quality time with these beautiful children. And i know that i really do deserve better. So why, oh why OH WHY!! do i still feel like i still have loving feelings towards this person. When the hell will that stop?

[PsySara]

Cherry,
It won't. My mother had feelings for my father until he died. They had been divorced for 8 years and both were remarried and doing their own thing. But I caught my mother crying shortly after my father's funeral. It's ok to love someone who is not acting very loving. We just have to detach and realize their wayward behavior has NOTHING to do with us but their own head show.

You just keep doing you and make Cherry irresistible! It's good to see you back around.

[Cherry]

Thanks sara, i need to catch up on your ditch, i hope you’re well.

Well my gut feelings of a new relationship were totally right, i guess seeing him do this before means i can sense a man trying to hide a relationship a mile away. He delivered yet another “i need to talk to you”. I thought i knew what was coming, but i don’t think is could have prepared myself for this. He is planning on getting married!! He’s doing a cultural kind of thing, where people have put out the word that there’s a guy who wants to get married. He’s met the girl, likes her and now they’re planning a marriage.
I am floored, astounded, shocked and i wont lie- crushed. I feel as though i have travelled back a thousand steps. Less than two weeks ago he was telling me about his doubts and that maybe we shouldn’t have ended things and trying to sleep with me (i refused). And now he’s planning a marriage.
I kind of wish that i could say i was cool and calm and wished him well. But i wasn’t. I spewed and said a thousand things that have been in my mind. I told him he was setting himself up for a fail. I swore, and i told him to leave. A kick of this is that she’s from the same culture as him. One thing he once threw in my face was that he maybe should have married someone from the same culture as him (he’s Asian, and I’m Latina). So this was a kick, as if I’m not good enough because I’m a Latina.

I actually don’t know where my heads at. I know i need to get it together and leave him to deal with his own disasters, but what a shock. What an absolute shock.
He of course re wrote history. Told me he doesn’t want me making this m difficult for him. And for me not to tell her about him trying to/or having sex with me.

Jerk off. Absolute jerk off

[Coly23]

Cherrry! Just came on here to see if there are any familiar faces and saw your post. I am shocked that he is thinking of getting married so quickly! He sounds like one of those men who cannot be on there own and need to be worshiped by a woman.

I am so sorry for you and your lovely family but on the other hand do you really want to be with someone like that? I know it's easy or me to say but he really hasn't any respect for you at all considering you take care of his children and his own mother. I would say this new interest is not getting a very honourable man at all.

I don't blame you for spewing at him. There comes a time when we have to say what we feel and your time has come. I am also at that stage where' I don't really care what I say to H. He can go to hell in a hand basket for all I care now!

Hugs to you Cherry. You have been through so much and deserve so much better. (((Cherry))).

[Cherry]

Oh coly, mi amor. The “he can go to hell in a hand basket” actually made me lol. He’s no respect for anyone, and no- she certainly isn’t getting a prize. I truly want my feelings to disappear. He’s an absolute deliusional fool. I just need my heart to catch up with my brain.

I think i agree with you on the spew. I think we control it, and I’ve been nice and cordial; but he had to hear months of suppressed rants. Naturally he couldn’t handle it. But he also couldn’t handle it when i told him not to tell me to “shut up” and waved his arms around. Just another ditch in the road. Think he can join your husband in a neat little hand basket