Maybe I would get more hurt due to more rejection if I get rebound attached haha. But as far as I know to take it extremely carefully and weight my emotions, I don't think making a friend out of this would be a bad thing. Dunno
Yeah take it carefully LC. I made out with a co-worker 6 months ago and unfortunately I quickly developed a crush. I didn't pursue it due to the fact that I'm probably not ready yet and well... her age, but it certainly hasn't made life any easier. To be honest, I'm sure I have entered the dangerous fields of limerence.. Bummer ... So be careful, but if you can manage to just be friends with her for now, then by all means, go for it!
Originally Posted By: lcause
Another thing: I want to show my love in public too. XW had so many issues with walking by holding hands, kissing in public etc. I just want someone who appreciates me randomly grabbing her in my arms no matter where we are and kissing her neck.
This I don't understand. I thought ALL women wanted exactly that... That their guy shows his love for her to the whole world. I'm sure your next partner will appreciate that sort of behavoiur so don't hold yourself back.
Well done on the weight loss. Keep up the good work. And good luck on the course. Doing things you are passionate about is the way to go.
Don't stop posting. I can't really speak on the behalf of others but I certainly like to read about people moving forward. Whether they save their M or not (lets be honest here, hardly anyone does...) we can all learn from each other on how to deal with the aftermath of BD.
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
D was with me for the weekend and we were visiting my parents. Took her back and XW had all makeup and hair done, so I don't really have to question what she's been up to (OM of course). Now I am just waiting for the announcement that D is going to meet OM... Gave a kiss for S and left. Also failed hard and sent XW a text that was supposed to go to a friend, and out of context that sounded like I was in a hurry to somewhere, lol. I hate this new phone as I keep sending WhatsApp messages to wrong places all the time.
My mom told me that XW had said something very "rude" and odd for her back when she was pregnant the first time. "I'm pregnant and he (me) can leave anytime if he wants to". Mom never told me this before and said it came out of blue for her too. It's odd that I always thought I was seemingly happy with XW but mom said she thought I felt a bit unhappy when we were visiting. Not sure if this is to make me feel better...
Originally Posted By: Btrow
Yeah take it carefully LC. I made out with a co-worker 6 months ago and unfortunately I quickly developed a crush. I didn't pursue it due to the fact that I'm probably not ready yet and well... her age, but it certainly hasn't made life any easier. To be honest, I'm sure I have entered the dangerous fields of limerence.. Bummer ... So be careful, but if you can manage to just be friends with her for now, then by all means, go for it!
That sukcs if you get into the limerence. I know it's a danger, but I think this could actually be very good for me too. Ego boost and noticing that "I can do it" are nice. Just got to keep myself really unattached and I know I'm not boyfriend material currently anyways, not to mention that she probably isn't what I'm after (assumption). I can hurt myself as much as I want to, but I wouldn't like to hurt anyone else. However she seems very content in her life based on what the coworker told, and apparently she's not "actively" seeking for a man. That, tbh, sounds quite attractive She's a divorcee, but it's been years.
Originally Posted By: Btrow
This I don't understand. I thought ALL women wanted exactly that... That their guy shows his love for her to the whole world. I'm sure your next partner will appreciate that sort of behavoiur so don't hold yourself back.
Tell me about it! Maybe I was too embarrassing or not good enough to show publicly? Hah! Who knows, right? Thanks, of course I'm not holding myself back.
Originally Posted By: Btrow
Don't stop posting. I can't really speak on the behalf of others but I certainly like to read about people moving forward. Whether they save their M or not (lets be honest here, hardly anyone does...) we can all learn from each other on how to deal with the aftermath of BD.
Yeah, well I have at least one active reader then! It feels good to open up, somehow I feel like these things are getting more ingrained into my brain when I open them up this way.
To be honest, I'm quite happy now and it feels like the world isn't going to end - not sure if these feelings spark from the girl wanting to go to a date, haha. Baby steps towards the future that I want.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
Thats a no brainer. JPG Le Male - the ladies really dig it
I've been looking to switch things up myself. Thanks for the recommendation!
I love cologne on a man, and Armani makes a great one. Makes a guy who would be a 6 into an 8.
Burberry for Men is also quite lovely.
I really could go on, but I heard a comedian say to "keep it simple for men"!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
the public displays of affection are things to discuss with your future partners.
And it's not appropriate in all places - I see holding hands as a beautiful symbol of affection and bonding, whereas being grabbed for a kiss can come off as "love bombing" which CAN feel more like a public act of demonstration (to reflect on the man)
or possession. Suddenness is usually off very putting, too. Communicate in the moment.
Just saying, think out the "why's" of it from your end and talk it out without defensiveness. Hear her answer.
Don't assume all places or all acts, apply. Seems obvious, but really it isn't.
Definitely requires discussion and not a hard/fast rule.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Thanks for your insight 25. I can understand your point. To defend (heh) myself a bit - of course I know it does not apply or is appropriate in all the places. And it's not like I did it always - nor for "possession" purposes.
But definitely something that needs to be discussed with my next partner. As you said, it feels obvious but it isn't. But I'd really like to hold hands and it's really adorable when you see older couples walking around holding each other's hands. I want that kind of a relationship - long term where affection is still shown, publicly.
It is snowing now. The first snow for this year. Beautiful. The ground is too warm still so the snow just melts immediately. Last year this time I was writing my thesis and waiting for my son to born. A lot can happen in one year. Lives turn around; new lives start and old ones end. 2018 is going to be my year. A year ago I said that 2017 is going to be OUR year. Plans do not always work.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
get longer lasting cologne, and yes they do exist. (Trust me on that.)
If you have an attractively fragrant alternative, by all means
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
13 months ago I was living in a large lovely house with my h of decades, and I was healthy.
Life has surprises. But we can change our own direction and create change, too.
And no matter what life tosses our way, we learn to handle it - or not.
You would not be here if you wanted to hide from it all. Which is good
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
There was an androgynous Calvin Klein i was Not impressed with - just not masculine enough for me - obviously an opinion!
In college, i sold men's clothes & cologne. Best job i had in college -
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I mean, cologne by definition is the most weakest one (if you speak about EDC), as far as I know? I usually go to EDT, or now I want EDP of the same fragrance. I want it to last till the next morning Could be that you are just bundling all the fragrances under the term cologne though.
YSL La nuit de l'homme is my next one. Need to buy it tax free because it's much cheaper.
Life indeed has surprises and I'm glad this board exists. I feel that we do grow somehow together, by following each other's sitches. We get the power and find the light within. Hiding from this is not an option.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
She's a divorcee, but it's been years.