It's my first day back at work from vacation. Had a blast catching up with old friends and trying new things.
I hadn't heard from W in over 2 weeks when she texted me yesterday that she missed me and then she sent me a song that reminded her of me.
My mom also told me that W has been keeping in touch with her. My mom said W isn't doing well at all and seems to have regrets.
I'm really not sure what to think anymore. Coming back home was hard for me. I definately feel W's abscence and I've been in a bit of a funk since I came back from vacation.
I hadn't heard from W in over 2 weeks when she texted me yesterday that she missed me and then she sent me a song that reminded her of me.
My mom also told me that W has been keeping in touch with her. My mom said W isn't doing well at all and seems to have regrets.
Don't get sucked in, Thornton. I worry, because you have "rescuing" tendencies.
W, an adult woman with an understanding of right and wrong, made her bed and now she needs to lie in it.
Of course she misses you. Of course she has regrets. You're Thornton and she walked away, hoping you wouldn't realize your value and would soften her fall. But that's not you anymore. You are not Plan B, and anyone who thinks you are is a fool.
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I'm really not sure what to think anymore. Coming back home was hard for me. I definately feel W's abscence and I've been in a bit of a funk since I came back from vacation.
This is natural, and it's okay. Let yourself have that funk, but have a plan to limit it and get back out there living a full life.
I would love confirmation that H felt the way your W does, but I also know it would bring a swirl of different emotions that I'm not sure I'd be prepared to handle. So just recognize that what you're hearing is going to make it easier in some ways and more difficult in others.
You've got this, Thornton!
P.S. The last time H did this I took a trip to LA to visit friends. One distinct memory I have is me in my rental car zooming around on the freeways and driving like a local, even though the traffic where I live is nothing like that. It boosted my confidence so much, because I'd been nervous about driving myself. It was a very "if I can do this, I can do anything." I've been thinking of that lately, and I'll be in the market for a new car soon and am toying with getting the same model as my rental from that trip.
After texting with W yesterday, I sat in silence and wondered why I felt the need to be there for her. How do I not put myself out there for someone I love? Thankfully, I was aware what was happening and did not surrender to my instincts.
Traffic in LA is absolute insanity! The guys riding motorcycles are especially insane the way they weave in and out of traffic with a foot between them and the car next to them.
Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I feel like you and I have just returned to 2014 together, not in a good way. Someone, whether it be W or not IF she figures out her [censored], will be lucky to have you. YOU are here working on yourself and improving yourself to be successful in your next relationship. She will be sad if she misses out on that BUT she has a lot of work to do on herself first.
I sometimes think it is easier to not have to see the WS everyday. I'm not sure, I think it goes both ways. I hate to see my H every single night sleeping on the couch living out of a backpack and cant even eat dinner here or leave a toothbrush. It's almost easier when they aren't around to be reminded constantly of how much they AREN'T emotionally present even though we see them physically. Anyway, point of the story is -- use this time to work on yourself and figure out who you are and what makes you happy without her clouding yourself. Block her number for a bit if you have to so that hearing from her doesn't spiral you in the wrong direction.
I agree, this feels like deja vu all over again for both of us.
Personally, I think it's easier to not have to see the WAS. Much easier. But the loneliness can be pretty brutal at times.
I'll keep trying to GAL (lots of Mountain Biking lately) and try new things. I'm trying to force myself to say yes to every activity presented to me, even if it appears weird to me.
Thanks for checking in, TO. I'm still following your sitch as well, stay strong.
More contact from W. This time she texted me to tell me a friend I had while growing up had passed away. It came as quite a shock to me. W offered to be there for me in any way possible and then went on to tell me she loved me. I didnt repond with "I love you too" but just said thanks for being there for me.
She also mentioned she hoped I was doing well with my therapy.
2 months ago, I was the devil and I was "abusive". Now she loves and misses me?
Out of curiousity - did she do this the first 3 times she returned? I remember you saying one return was quite dramatic with her weeping at a coffee shop, but did she do any of these little things before she finally returned the other times?
