When he complimented my choices OR offered his opinion, it mattered b/c that's what team mates do in their home. It's not the wife's home, it's the family home. And decorating it so that the family would enjoy it and feel some pride in it, was an expression of my love for them. An "acts of service" love language, actually.
Anyhow, just thought I'd chime in on this b/c you said it's easier not to care. Yes it is. Helps for it to be appreciated.
My W had the same POV, and I honestly had no idea. She wanted a space that she enjoyed being in, "not run away from" (her words), and I was totally oblivious to it. Decorating turned into a negotiation on everything...and when I say it's easier to not care, what I really mean is, it's easier (and liberating) to let her run with it if it means that much to her. There are things I want to declare victory on in life, but which table lamp we buy, and how to save $20 on it, just isn't worth it to me any more. And, I do appreciate what she's doing...the house looks better than ever before.
I have come to understand through this process that her love language is acts of service. Mine is physical touch. I don't think I appreciated the impact of any of it before now.
Y'all have been so helpful...reading these posts, internalizing them, figuring out how to do things for me (GAL) while not dwelling on the little things...can't tell you how much it has made a difference. Thank you
