What consequence will he set by telling her if she disrespect the home and marriage by talking to him? Take her phone away? Kick her out? She doesnt have to leave.
Boundaries must be logical. And setting a boundary t Like that wont be logical.
Something you can do is give a stern choice.
"You have two options, stop talking to him and stay or continue talking to him and move out."
You gave her options? It's her decision to choose.
In this scenario, she will see that you are starting to say bye.
LH is right that I'm new.
I also will tell you that using these techniques take time to understand, you will be good.
It's your decision and we are here to support.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
I'm just so frustrated right now. This entire A is over a phone. Physical contact twice in 7 months, and she professes love for him and wants a life with him. I have no consequences she can face . She will not leave thehome without the kids, and i wont let her take them where ever she pleases. She cannot go to him, so here we are. I can file for D, but that takes time here, and truly, I dont want to file, i want to keep my family intact and get my wife back from basically her phone..... Detachment and 180 is a start but i cant help but feel i need to do more. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. I can drop the bomb on OM but it will cause serious issues between her and I and i have kids in the middle to worry about. I know shes manipulating the sitch right now regarding him being turned in. My son heard OM tell my wife Sunday on facetime to do something to stop me from truning him in. She tried yesterday by saying she would never R or even attempt to work on us if i did because he is innocent in all this, and because i tried hard when we first separated to convince her to come back and told her how much i loved her. This may or may not be a bluff, who knows. Gut says its a bluff to get me to take the heat off. Im Just confused about it all. Be so much easier if OM wasactually here where she could easily run to him. But this phone crap is a mess. I dont know where to start. She is nice as hell to me as long as i dont bring up anything about the A. Talks to me just like it was 9 months ago and this never happened.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
Today is just a real shitty day, thats all. Heres what today feels like to me- Stuck in a cage just big enough to fit in. People walking by poking you with sharp sticks and laughing. All you can do is growl fiercely and bang against the cage. they keep poking because they know that no matter how loud you growl and strain against the cage, you cant get to them so they are safe. that's how today feels..........
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
Are you living in the same house? I will go and read your sitch in full, but if you are in the same house and with the little I have read about how you're feeling, I am going to recommend that you TxHubby your sitch.
I will find TxHubby's thread and post a link here. But, I think you might be a good candidate for how TxHubby handled his DBing.
Go ahead and tell on OM. What is your W honestly going to do keep sleeping with him? Your basically afraid at this point of your W not being nice to you. She sleeps around, giving her heart to OM and you get the friend zone treatment. Thinking like this this will have you in limbo forever.
Get thus sitch in check immediately before the disrespect gets too bad. I tried to be nice and afraid of making things worse. And it got worse. My W moves ouy a m onth ago and things maybe moving to divorce. But at least I got my balls back.
