Roist - it was hard to tell if he regretted not running things by me. In the past he said he had a tough time with this sort of stuff as he is a classic distancer.
Hi Brubeck - nice pun.
It's been an odd week. H seems all over the place. He went out last Saturday and he did it just like he did in heavy duty replay. The whole thing was such a trigger but it only lasted 10 minutes. Then in a flash, I thought scr$w this and I did not spend another minute on it. When he came home (not too late) I said hi and moved along.
My birthday was this week. H came into the kitchen before I left for work, looked me in the eye and said happy birthday. I said thanks. And he said I did not look a day over 50. I turned 42. A$$. There was a time this would probably be humorous but with all his age obsession and projection it's just not anymore. I HATE talking about aging, the gym, calories, ways to stay young, diets, etc. After work they took me out to dinner. I had a great beer w/dinner while h ate like a sparrow.
Some of the diet stuff is soooo stupid. Okay, ALL of it is stupid. H announced at dinner one night that he's no longer eating mushrooms as they are a night shade vegetable and Tom Brady says he's maintained his health by avoiding night shades. I have tried to tell h, that omitting potatoes is probably NOT the reason Tom Brady is a quarterback at his age. It probably has to do with meds, massages, anti - inflammatories, etc. Now, the EXACT same day h announced his ban on mushrooms, he ate a whole pint of icecream in 2 seconds. So I asked him if that was part of Tom Brady's diet, too. He laughed as did the kids.
One night h was sitting on the couch. And s13 said "wow! When was the last time you sat here dad?" I immediately answered that it's been 3 years since h sat there. I didn't miss a beat in answering how long it's been and hopefully h noticed. H said: my brother used to eat and make messes all over the couch so I don't like sitting here. Wow. Does he think it's 1975 and his brother lives here?
And h mentioned that as a child he lived in crazy places: closets, tiny rooms, etc. Space has been central to his MLC as anyone following knows. I asked him why he never moved in with his father (his stepmom, the OW his father married, was always very nice to h). H said he was never invited and there was pain behind the statement. (After he gave me the letter and moved back downstairs in a huff, I did ask him to move back and he said no. Wonder if that was a control issue from childhood?!?). As for his stepmom, the OW, boy did life hit her hard. FIL ditched her for another: surprise, surprise.
I took Friday off and asked s13 to a nice breakfast. He is a foodie. After I left the room I realized I didn't invite h even though he was w/in earshot. It was not intentional. But I did cringe and feel rude. I thought about inviting him afterwards, but did not want to do so. A) It was my day off and I wanted a break from MLC and B) I didn't want to have to hear about how on his new diet he only eats 3 ounces of spinach with his eggs Benedict. I wanted to go eat and savor the meal--not nitpick it to death.
That same day s11 had a show-and-tell for a camp. After breakfast s and I putzed around and laughed a lot. A few minutes before s11's show-and-tell h texted asking if he should wait for us so we could drive together. I said if we don't make it by x time, leave without us. We did make it home while he was there but I needed to change. H seemed to wait beyond the time he was slated to leave but then left. We drove on our own.
And boy was h really trying to get under my skin at the event. I went to check out what s had built; a robot that moved blocks. The robot stopped working for a bit. H told me I caused it! I said how? His answer? I looked at it. Really mature. So I said he sure was Mr. Positive. Then, during the competition part, I was cheering for s and h shushed me!!! He told me I was too loud. I ignored him and cheered just as I pleased. I think he was trying to get back at me for not inviting him to breakfast.
Yesterday I cleaned all day. After dinner I went out w/out saying bye to h. He was in the stinky dorm room and was planning on watching something with the boys. When I came home a few hours later and said hi, h did not answer from behind the stinky door.
This morning I left early to walk the dog and run errands. While I was out h texted saying that his phone was acting funny and if I tried to text him in the past 24 hours he didn't get it. Then he asked me to re-send if I was interested. I did not respond. Did he want me to say where I was last night? He did just tell me that what we do is none of the other's business.
Kids are off with friends today so I took off for a long walk and a liesurely afternoon off.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
Well, it appears that he's starting to open up more about his childhood and share things about what his brother did, i.e., the couch. He's starting to feel "safe" in telling you things. Listen very closely because the more he talks, the more that will be revealed.
As for the diet, it changes w/the wind. He's still a teenager doing whatever his latest favorite famous person is doing. Nothing against you by any means, but he's doing what his idol is doing. He's still searching for his authentic self.
As for his phone...there's nothing wrong w/it. He was checking up on you in a passive aggressive way. You don't need to tell him every place that you go.
Enjoy your week.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
The mushroom thing is hysterical. It sounds ridiculous but I'm imagining your H reporting this to you in a completely serious manner. Thanks for the laugh.
M: 49, W: 45 T: 22 M: 15 S14, S11, S9 BD: Jan '16 W files: Oct '16 D final: June '18
Me 49 W46 T25 M22 S22 D18 S13 W had EA Apr-Jul 2016 Dropped Bomb 7/9/16 ILYBINILWYA HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17 Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
