Is there room for a chair more?

[JujuB]

Painter,

I remember that time. But look at it as all the obstacles you overcame and worked your way through. Incredible and I am glad You are doing great! You have and continue to make a really good life for yourself.

Hugs

J.

[Painter]

Thank you, both. I figure this is just a brief look in the review mirror. It's hard - losing my family and my home, still not having my own place to live, not having a secure future anymore. There's many wonderful things going on in my life, but I'm still grieving everything I've lost.

The divorce should be final next month.

[Painter]

I mailed the D paperwork today. I had to wait over a week to get an answer from an advising L about one of the forms I was worried about signing. We found a way to deal with it so I can feel reassured.

The next step is that WH's L will mail me the final decree for signature. Then it will go to the judge and get signed there.
It feels empty - there's not even any bad feelings there. I'm just tired of it and have a bad taste in my mouth whenever I have to deal with my past.

Yesterday I celebrated my birthday with a new 'family'. That's really what it felt like - my son and his GF, my friend and his D at a family gettogether. It's encouraging to see that it's possible to form new bonds like that, even if the innocence and much of the enthusiasm I had 16 years ago is gone. I'm much, much more cautious now. It's not a good thing - holding back in relationships is not really the solution. Hopefully it's just healthy skepticism that will fade eventually.

I've spent lots of time in the studio lately, we have a show coming up and I'm painting like crazy to get a few pieces ready.

Easter was busy with choir of course, but I've been struggling a little healthwise, but I think now that it may just be allergies. A weekend away in a very serene setting really recharged the batteries!

I spend a lot of time with great friends. I don't think I could stop GAL'ing even if I tried!

[Vanilla]

Happy Birthday Painter.

Marks a new start, and I ove the GAL news.

Grinning from ear to ear.

V

[Painter]

Thank you, Vanilla!

It's interesting how things can come back unexpectedly. While showering this morning, I got myself so angry over WH and how he gave OW an engagement ring while he was still living and sleeping with me and 'working on the M'. He's still denying that he gave it to her. I have told him that I know OW has told our neighbors that he gave it to her, so there's no point in upholding the lie. He still won't admit it. I guess it's hard for him to admit what a low-life he really is, even to himself.

I talked to a friend about how it's just like any other loss - it will come back and revisit at times, but hopefully get less and less painful as time goes by.

I think I'm doing pretty good overall, but I thought I'd just share.

[Painter]

I received the final decree for my signature yesterday, looked it over, let it sit and looked it over again this morning before I signed it. I'll be putting in the mail today.

WH brought my stepson as his witness to the deposition. I was really disgusted by that.

My feelings about it are falling away - I compared it today to foreclosing on a home. It's not what I wanted to happen, but I have to move forward.

I have some decisions to make about my life going forward. It's difficult, not because there's not a lot of options, but because there's so many! And what I want to do, is not what I should do.

A full-time, steady job would make it possible for me to buy my own home, which is part of my retirement plan. I have chronic health issues that makes me worry about my ability to do that. I wouldn't have to remain in a full-time job forever, probably for about a year. For the last two days, I've been in pain and so fatigued that it felt like I was going to faint at times - I'm worried about these issues in relation to keeping a job.

I have a part-time contract job that I would like to keep - and I I have found a way to do that (sub-contract while I work full-time). Once I secure a mortgage, I could go back to part-time work.

My wants are to keep painting and increase my production, and hopefully sell my art. I'm involved with the administration of the studio/gallery I'm a part of as well, which I truly enjoy.

I sing in a church choir, and can probably keep that up - although it's tough to always get up early on a Sunday morning. It could be that I would have to let that commitment go for a year.

I had a good practice as a holistic healer before I moved - and there is a possibility that I could get back into that. It's well paid but not guaranteed work. I could work a lot fewer hours than in a salaried job.

I would like to go back to college to finish my degree and get into a professional practice based on that. My concerns are again energy and health.

My demands are not extreme - I like to have a working car and a place to live, but I can have a roommate and keep my expenses low. I don't smoke, drink or gamble, I buy my clothes at thrift stores and do my own hair. I try to make my own coffee to save $5/day!

I need to sit down with someone to work on my career choices. There's an intuitive coach that I have met with once, I think I'll set up a new appointment with her.

I feel very blessed to have all these choices - I just wish I could figure out what to do!

[Vanilla]

Oh Painter, how wonderful.

Choices

V

[Georgiabelle]

Painter,

Maybe I'm getting senile,but I didn't recall all of your talents :-)Wow! I'm impressed with the things you enjoy in your life and it sounds you have met some wonderful friends.

I'm sorry you have had some difficult moments. I think most (or perhaps) all of us can agree that it's challenging to have those moments where you think, "how did I get here?" And you are right. We with through them as best we can and it's perfectly normal to feel moments of sadness.

Congratulations on the contract! I have no doubt you will be even more fabulous than even!

[Painter]

Thank you, both.

GB, I have had the contract for the parttime job for a year and a half, but if I get a full-time job, I have someone that would do that work for me so I wouldn't have to give up the contract - I'd just supervise. Then I could go back to doing that again later, if finances allow.

Last night, I applied for 5 jobs online. So far today, three employers have called me to set up phone interviews for the next few days. I'm kind of blown away. Of course I don't know if that means I'll get in-person interviews, but I'm extremely happy with their response speed and rate. I think the secret may have been my new resume - I read up on how to best create one when the work history is choppy and not entirely focused, and it seems to have worked!

[Painter]

An update from my fast-moving life:

I got a job. A very good job that will enable me to do what I like. I don't have really high demands for luxury or toys or a big house, so I will be very happy with what I have. It means I can plan for my retirement and feel safe about my future.

I am tremendously grateful for where I am in my life. The intuitive coach that I saw helped me put together the puzzle pieces in a way that will work great without exhausting me. I can do everything I love without over-extending myself.

The D will be final any day. I'll post when it has gone through. I'm taking my maiden name back and I can't wait.