Keep going with what you are doing and resist trying to interpret anything. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Keep finding ways to live your life to its fullest right now because that's you deserve. But these things from your W are actions which is good.
I do understand the agony of the A and wanting it to end. I suppose putting a timeline in your mind for S is a good thing. Like I said yesterday I've had to retreat on mine but I'm still ambivalent just thinking about how long I can stand this with no movement of my W. My W went to IC yesterday and is going back.
Keep going.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
PEW, Happy Birthday! I am pulling for you and praying for you along with the others. Also watching your sitch with much interest since it has something in common with mine (WW in an A who sometimes shows some interest in me that appears genuine). Wondering if your WW will really come around without having the "no contact or get out" moment. I, too, am now targeting a post-HS graduation (son) timeframe for pushing the issue if there is not a breakthrough.
Best wishes--- sending some "white light" your way.
H53/W51, R-ing 4/'18
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"-Sg.of Sg 2:7
"So oftentimes it happens,that we live our lives in chains, & we never even know we have the key"-Eagles III 1:3
Thank you for the birthday wishes. It means a lot. I have been trying my to keep off the forum as it helps me detach and not focus on my W. It was definitely nice to see other people remember my birthday. Thank you again.
Thank you for remembering my birthday. This board really knows how to make a person feel important. I appreciate all the wishes. Settle by a mental date helps me with moving toward. It gives me some control in an otherwise wise uncontrollable situation. Ultimately I decide how much I can take. She has shown signs of staying off Facebook but I am almost positive the A has gone deeper to throw me off. I do see she does not carry her physical me around with her but it doesn't mean she is in NC with the OM. At least things slate getting better but she did not get me anything for my birthday. I kind of figured that would happen but she did wake up to wish me a happy birthday.
Trying to stay positive and focused on what I need to do. Hoping for the best but not expecting any miracles. I will keep everyone posted on what happens ne t.
So my W is now talking about the future more and what we could do in the house and wanting to go and check out new restaurants/bars. I find this so hard to truly believe as she still is seeing the OM. I am keeping my distance but at the same time trying to have some fun with her as to show her that we can still be good together. Some nights we lay in bed and talk and laugh. There is still no real physical contact and no real emotional connection.
I find myself more and more just wanting to move forward in my life instead of being in this limbo stage. There is nothing I want more than to save my M but I am realizing that any type of work on it can not begin until she has ended her A. I see her as the same woman with the same issues that have led us to this unfortunate situation. I continue to work on myself and have been feeling more confident than ever.
I remain steady on my internal date to possibly physically separate after my D17 grad party. I know it will hurt but I also know that it is for the best for me emotionally. There is nothing positive about being stuck in limbo and if my W still can not make up her mind with what she wants than I am going to have to make up my mind. We are still a month away from all this happening and anything can happen but at the moment I just can't see it.
We definitely have made more progress in our dealings with each other. We are laughing more and I see her being more proactive in working around the house. She has been working outside with me in the yard and looks to sit with me to talk sometimes. I am open to keeping interactions with her positive and sincere and it seems to be making a difference as she is opening up more with what she shares with me. It has been 13 weeks since the BD and we have not had any real argument. We have disagreed a few time but I responded in ways that diffused the situation instead of fueling the fire. I can see that it really threw my W off and with in a short period of time she got herself out of her bad mood. Only time will tell.
It sounds like you are moving in the right direction. If your wife is still seeing the OM have you made it clear that there's no chance for your MR as long as he is around?
I have told my wife we're basically separated until she stops all contact with him and what she is doing is not ok with me. I try to reinforce that with the fact that I still believe in her and that she can make the right decision about what to do. I put the ball in her court.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
