You guys aren't going to beleive this 4

[Thornton]

I was having a decent day. I got my haircut and cleaned my Jeep and then went home to get something to eat.

I took the trash out to the dumpster and noticed a frame that was thrown away. I turned it over and was a pic of W and I that she kept in her cubicle at work. Gut punch.

That definitely hurt to see.

[25yearsmlc]

ouch

IF we were tossing out photos of them with us, it would mean the pics were too painful for us to see,

not that we were indifferent to the m/lbsers.

Try to keep that in mind, b/c her pain about...whatever...

is not the same as not caring.

[Sotto]

Hi Thornton, I'm sorry to hear that. I can recall visiting the marital home after we separated to find all the photos of me had been taken down and replaced with others - yucky for sure.

And somewhat insensitive of her to toss it in the trash where you might likely find it - but oh well that's on her I guess. I wonder if some of her actions are somewhat provocative - ie: hoping to elicit a response which may affirm she is right to go...

Anyway - she will do what she will do...and I hope you can haul yourself up and start making baby steps toward the kind of life you hope to lead going forward.

I know you have your name down for an apartment in the complex you like. Can I ask, if she is gone and you are feeling genuinely happy and settled there, and not yet dating, what will your life look like? Will you be working in the same place, doing the same kind of role? How will you spend your leisure time? What will you enjoy doing and who will you spend time with?

I agree with others about your D. D's always need their Dad. So, even if she is busy with some other stuff, do suggest regular get togethers. Even if it's a quick lunch or a movie she wants to see.

I also wanted to ask - is your SD's biological father in touch with her still?

Take care my friend and remember where to try and keep your focus - on you and forward momentum..

[Tryin2figuritout]

Hey Thornton,

Seeing the photo/frame in the trash is horrible and I'm sorry you saw that. They like to replace all good things with bad as if good never existed. She's probably tossed it because she doesn't want to be reminded of any of the good times. Is guilt driving that, probably, but they like to distance themselves from the worth in the M.

Hope you have a good one.

[EastTN]

Agree with Sotto, that's insensitive at best, and the cynic in me thinks you were supposed to find that. When I got rid of my pictures at work, I took care of disposal at work.

Hope you're having a great weekend, T.

[Thornton]

Thanks guys.

Yesterday evening I decided to run to Walmart to renew my fishing license. I walked out the door without saying anything to anyone.

While I'm driving, I get a text from W.

W: are you going on a date?

Me: Walmart

W: oh ok, I'm sorry. I'm still angry (sad face)

I didn't respond.

First of all, huh? Still angry at what?

Second, why do you give a damn?

When I came home I went to my room and was playing a game on my phone. And W comes in and apologizes for the text and tells me again she's still angry. I just nodded my head. She says "you don't care?" I shrugged my shoulders because I didn't know what she was talking about and I felt like she was baiting me into a R talk. She turned and walked back out.

I don't have a clue what is going on with her. She's a totally different person now.

[Tryin2figuritout]

Man Thornton, that would throw me for a loop. I hope you're doing ok.

[EastTN]

Thornton, you're my personal hero.

You're the only man I've ever met smart enough to know that if you ask a women WHY she is mad, she'll be ten times angrier.

Bravo, sir.

[Thornton]

Thanks guys.

Yesterday I spent the day running errands and hanging out. W and SD went to one of W's friends house for the day.

Last night as I was winding down for bed, W came home and walked into my room.

She again ripped me into me about how I did this to our family. That her girlfriend's house is the same model of house we were going to buy. She said she's so mad at me.

Then she starts to bawl. She's crying because she doesnt know how to let our 6 year relationship go. She said this is her longest relationship and she doesnt know how to let go of it. She even told me it was easier for me because I've been through a divorce before. I just listened and validated by nodding my head. After she was finished venting, she told me she now felt bad because she's been going off on me lately and I've stayed cool and calm and haven't engaged in a tit for tat.

Just another dip in the roller coaster, I guess.

[Tryin2figuritout]

Thornton,

That's all heavy man and I wish you luck. It's tough seeing them suffer and wanting to just say just take a freaking time out already.

I've told my W a handful of times (and am done doing so) that why can't we just be, just breathe, no decisions, etc. They have it in their mind that ending it is the ONLY option to heal. To me, there's just more to it, but that's the life of a LBS.

Hang in there.