What an update!!! What I love about this update is you are still cautious about it all and you should be, but recognizing it's your improvements to self that are bringing all this around.
No doubt he hears you GAL and hanging at the pool and he's curious. Leahsue having fun without the hubbs and now he's all like, "that sounds like fun".
Wishing you all the best.
Trying
Me 42, Wife 39; Married 16; Together 17; Kids: D13, S10 Wife asks for Divorce: 03/19/13 Reconcile: 07/07/13 Round 2 Starts: 02/19/17 Apartment Life: 04/21/17 PA Confirmed: 05/23/17
Leahsue, I'm so proud of you. You're in a good place. And I'm glad you're okay after those storms. Tornadoes are my phobia, so I would have been a wreck!
I think I know of the book to which you are referring. If the author's initials are L.D., it's got some interesting ideas and I certainly see the merit of it. I've used some of the techniques before, but thinking of that makes me sad. H used to light up when I'd let him know he was my Man. I've been wondering if my situation - where I was paying more of the bills than H after we bought this house - led to this breakdown. I wonder if it emasculated him. If so, that's a darn shame.
It sounds like things are headed in a positive direction with you and your H. If I have some advice, I think you need to do a mixture of what you're already doing on his visit. Keep up the mystery, let him see the changes in you via your actions, find the balance between being open for him to approach you but not needy, and flirt with him. Try your hardest not to have expectations; remember his words - he's thinking reconciliation. It's okay if it doesn't happen immediately. You want it to be his idea, after all, and you want to keep your mindset on "I'll be okay with or without him."
The author's initials are H.A., but I remembered where I saw Sandi's rec- it was in a recent post from her to TO so if you're interested look back through those for the last couple of days.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Hey gang, I just feel like giving up. Nothing has happened. I just think in the last few days I have realized that I don't deserve the crap that's been handed to me since Dec. 26. And the thought of giving up things like dancing in the dark, holding someone until you fall asleep, looks across a crowded room, winks, your song, etc. just make me sick and sad. I'm old, I get that, but I still feel 30 on the inside, and I'm not ready to feel like the romantic side of my life is over. H may or may not EVER show back up and even then, may not want me in that way. I guess I'm asking myself, is he worth the wait and even then, taking a chance? He's hurt me so badly. And no matter what the label I choose to give him, the facts are there. He made the decision to let me go. And while he appears to be inching his way back, so very slowly, do I even want him back? I want more from life than "hoping" someone will love me. I deserve to be cherished and celebrated, not tolerated. God, where is this anger coming from? I just feel so ANGRY.
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Leahsue, you've been so down the last couple of days. Where is that super cool, plucky lady? I know she is in there somewhere. We are all allowed to mope and complain, but then we have to get up and get going. You have an incredible life and friends, and hobbies. Don't project today over the rest of your life. Get out there and get going and let him catch up when and if he is able. I know you have this.
Jeep? Talk me down off this ledge of giving up. Or don't. Encourage me to jump.
Leahsue,
How are you, my friend? I'm here... So, to jump or to not? I'm not sure how to address this one. You addressed an issue of not knowing if you want your H back or not. To me, that speaks volumes. Either way, your road...and your road is so shiny from the gold that its blinding me all the over here in the great Peach State!
Let me ask you this - what do YOU really want? After a while, I just quit caring if mine came and I suspect that feeling is starting to appear in you. Forget what's said about giving the H time or whatever non-sensible sunshine, hand-holding BS...what do you really want?
I've been watching in the background and it seems that you are doing well - and that you are adapting to life without him. We all seem to forget and, on here, turn a blind eye to the fact of what they did to us. Even if they aren't a cheating POS, the fact is that they hurt us in unimaginable ways. There are just some lines that shouldn't be crossed.
I'm here, my friend. Join the crew over on Tacoma world...its growing every day...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
