Don't worry a page boy picked his nose scratched his nethers and didn't wash his hands before using his finger to stir the mix.
V
Ha ha ha! Brilliant...thank you!!
Back at the gym last night and played around with the resistance on the rowing machine and cycle: cranked it up for a bit and worked harder, then lowered it for a bit.
I think next time I go, I'll do a quick, full pelt type workout. Then the time after, go back to longer and easier going.
Sorry I'm not so good at commenting on other's posts. I know that makes me come across as a bit self obsessed.
I do read a lot (particularly on this part of the forum), but can't think of much good, positive, constructive advice to give.
I thought I'd write about another one of the dates I went on at the very start of the year...just as a laugh.
So, got chatting to someone on line. He worked in a similar type of environment to me, so it was familiar to me, plus he looked very handsome.
Arranged to have a drink after I finished work one evening. Turned up, but he was really pretty late. I was at the getting hacked off stage by then. Oh well, give someone a chance, I thought. But no apology, no offer to buy me a drink as a way to say sorry...nothing. He came across as pretty disinterested in me. Like, if I'd been someone else, it wouldn't have made any difference at all to him. I felt pretty bored and was starting to wonder how little I could stay without seeming rude.
He went out for a smoke. Disappeared for ages...I mean, we're talking 20 minutes or more. I was left standing in a busy bar. Got chatted up by another guy during that time, which was quite funny.
Anyway, I decided just to leave at that point, sneak away, and asked the barman if there was another door apart from the front door I could go out. Explained the situation and had a bit of a laugh with him and the others behind the bar about it. No luck on the door front though, there was only the front door.
As I was trying to sneak out, he walked back in, and we practically walked into each other. That was quite funny. He convinced me to stay...there was a moment of genuine feeling there, so I did stay.
He rabbited on for another while. We had differing opinions about a lot of things, which I also found quite funny. But I found him hard and unreachable, locked in himself.
I said I was heading home, and he walked me 10 minutes along the road home. He kissed me and made it pretty clear he wanted me to invite him up to my house. I made it pretty clear that was never going to happen. It all felt pretty cold and empty, lacking in any sort of warmth or connection whatsoever, and I'm pretty sensitive to the vibe that's going on with other people.
He said he felt like he'd been teased. At which point I just walked off.
20 years ago I would have probably gone along with things, or felt really crushed if someone had 'rejected' me.
Now? It's more like, yeah, OK, on you go.
I got home, made myself a cup of tea, had a laugh to myself about the whole thing, and went to bed.
I've never been a runner (in a sports kind of way), but there's always been something about the mentality of what I think might be involved that has drawn me to it over the years...for many years.
So the other evening, after a crazy 13 hour day, I jogged/walked home. It was mostly walking, for sure, interspersed with a little jogging. But I kind of thought I might like to try more.
Last night I looked up beginners running plans. I'm starting *real* slow, I don't think I can even run for two minutes, so first time I'm going to alternate 30 seconds running with 30 seconds walking. See how it goes from there.
In my secret heart of hearts I'd love to run a marathon. I've never, ever said that to anyone before. I know it's a long way. I don't think I could even walk that far in a day at this point. But other people do it, so surely I could too?
Absolutely. I was training for my first half marathon when DDay happened, and I think it saved my life. I had always sworn I would never run, but now it's my favorite form of relief (when I can make time to do it).
Be sure you get a good training program (I ran with an app on my phone) and follow a nutritional plan, it makes an ENORMOUS difference. A buddy helps a lot too. My buddy was on the west coast while I was on the east coast -- we had signed up for a race in a destination location to run together.
Running is a huge sport in my town so there is also a club I was able to join to learn about things like pacing, form, etc., and it was nice for a time to run with the group and watch myself improve.
That's an outstanding goal, keep us posted how you're progressing!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
PS, start with small manageable goals, like completing a 5K, then completing a 5K without walking, then completing the 5K within a certain amount of time, etc. It's not necessary to aim to be super speedy but it's helpful when you want to move your running distances up. I went from never having run at all to finishing a half-marathon with a respectable time in about 8 months.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Hi Focus, I started running using podcasts, the Guardian newspaper has a good one for novices, and within a few months I was doing 5/10km races. Go for it, it is a great change. I haven't done more than 21km yet but who knows? I'm glad to see you are doing well.
It's all just a vague idea at the moment. I can't even run a mile without stopping quite a lot, so I've a long, long, long way to go
That said, I like setting myself huge, very long terms goals. And I'm happy chipping away at them. I'm super ambitious, but I don't have to get to the 'end point' (whatever that may be) right now. I'm more about really living and the process and how it makes me feel.
So last night on my way home from work, I did the same 30 second jog, 30 second walk thing I did the other night. I'm starting to understand how it works a bit more, and where I might be able to push a little harder at some future point.
I'm not back at that job for a while, but this morning I mapped out a couple of other mile long routes round/near my house I can do the same 30 jog, 30 second run for.
I'm also back at sorting my house/clothes. Done another small chunk this morning.
I think that's the thing that has the most benefit for me. Not doing a whole day tidy up/clear out, but a small chunk each day. That helps me feel like Im making consistent progress and makes me feel good.
I went to WH's/STBXH's FB page to see if he'd posted anything about the birth, or if anyone else had posted anything. She was due April (I'm not exactly sure when), but nothing, and nobody else has posted anything at all. Who knows.
It did flash through my mind that I could get a copy of the birth certificate and divorce him for adultery. But can I be bothered to go to those lengths? It's time and energy I could be spending on myself,
Ach, as usual, who knows. I don't know, for sure.
For now, I'm happy carrying on as I am.
I'll post another date story, just to give you a laugh...
So, it must have been December, I went on a couple of dates with a lawyer.
Online chat was quite good, he was clearly an intelligent guy and interested in some of the same things as me.
The *split second* I saw him though, I knew there was absolutely no spark. Anyway, we had a drink after I finished work evening, and we had a nice enough time. He seemed fairly straight forward and down to earth. I was happy chatting back to him.
Except when we came to go he asked if he could come round to my house to call a taxi. Seriously, who would ask something like that on a first date? When you've never met the person before?
Anyway, I said no. He was obviously embarrassed as heck and couldn't wait to dash away. I didn't want him going away feeling so bad, so I deliberately walked a little slower and chatted a bit more.
He took me out for lunch a week or so later, and I started to get the impression he was treating me like some sort of exotic object of curiosity (difference in lifestyles: high up lawyer with a passion for the arts, and starving artist). He was also keen to impress on me how well he was doing, and how well off he was. Not in a boastful way, but in a 'I can make your life much easier than it obviously is' sort of way.
There was still no spark at all. Actually, his whole attitude started to make me feel like I wanted to shrink back away from him.
So that was that.
Except a couple of weeks after, he turned up at my work one evening. I found him sitting in the bar, deep in conversation with a woman.
It was all very bizarre. My work was a train and underground journey away for him, there's no way he would have been 'just passing' and decided to 'pop in' for a quick drink. They were definitely out on a date.
I had a little ratch about STBXWH's FB page, and buried in there there was a post from one of his newer work colleagues (who I'm not sure if he knows that we were/are married) congratulating him on his child.
How do I feel? Nothing much at the moment. I don't know if it's still to hit me or not. But at the moment, I feel nothing.
I was more upset back in mid December when I found out OW was pregnant. I remember feeling *really* shocked and upset then.
I have felt very tired and a little bit drained today. A little bit low too. I think that's because I've been working quite hard though, and today is the first day in a while I've stopped.
