Wow! Ginger! So awesome and inspiring to hear from someone who is in a great relationship. Keep posting, I need to hear it
RAI
Thanks, RAI,
It's been 9 years since my bomb drop, so I'm really just succeeding now. I'll be honest, different stages came for me. I made choices out of lonliness since, I've also tricked myself into thinking I only deserved the minimal some guys gave me.
I have had mostly alone time in these past 9 years. My ex left my D was only 6 months, so I've spend a lot of time just trying to survive.
I'm very ready now for a mature adult R. It's taken a little longer for me than most, but everything has been a learning experience along the way.
The ex and FF met each other last night. That is the first guy he has ever met that I dated. It was brief, it was through the car. Ex shook his hand and used his manners and said "nice to meet you". Of course FF used his manners too.
D9 was so afraid it would be "awkward" I informed her it is only as awkward as you make it.
I am happy for you. Glad to hear that you have met someone who is meeting your needs and making you smile!
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Thanks J5K! He is indeed meeting my needs and making me smile. I still have my fears, but I try not to let them get in my way too much.
Which kind of brings me to a dilemma. We are 2 months in which isn't that long. We are pretty serious with eachother in the sense we spend a lot of time together and we are exclusive and all that.
My D9 loves having him around and her first question is usually is "is FF coming over?" D9 still is too fearful to ride a bike, but it is time. So he helped me and she trusts him. Then I grilled dinner and they played hopscotch:). It really got me thinking. After she went to bed, we were talking and he was talking about selling his business and the such and he brought up something about getting his own apartment. It triggered me a little. We haven't had one R talk, future talk, I haven't felt the need. But I would hope he sees us living together in the future. My thing is, for mainly D9's sake, I feel like I need to have a talk. not about us moving in together, but that since she is involved, if there comes a point and he does not see a future with me, I need to know. He doesn't have to plan our future, and it's only 2 months its young, but because of my decision to include D9, I need to know when a point of this not going anywhere is coming.
Is this is a fair talk to have? I don't need to know our future right now, but I need to know when he absolutely doesn't see us in it.
I have one small thing that has been bugging me too. Easter is Sunday and I made it very clear I have no plans for Easter and will be all alone. he has not invited me to Easter dinner. I don't even know if his parents are hosting it or not. it kind of hurts, I haven't really met them yet, and I though an invite would be nice, but I haven't brought it up. Mostly because it sounds pathetic to invite yourself to someone elses Easter dinner. It's just not proper etiquette.
Any opinions would be welcomed on the matter. I am going to IC tomorrow and if I can STFU today, I will try to get her opinion before I have any talk with him.
I have one small thing that has been bugging me too. Easter is Sunday and I made it very clear I have no plans for Easter and will be all alone. he has not invited me to Easter dinner. I don't even know if his parents are hosting it or not. it kind of hurts, I haven't really met them yet, and I though an invite would be nice, but I haven't brought it up.
First of all you can always come spend it with us. BUT I think this sounds kind of conflict avoidance.
Men are not mind readers. Ask for what you want and don't think he intuitively knows it. I am sure he doesn't.
I have one small thing that has been bugging me too. Easter is Sunday and I made it very clear I have no plans for Easter and will be all alone. he has not invited me to Easter dinner. I don't even know if his parents are hosting it or not. it kind of hurts, I haven't really met them yet, and I though an invite would be nice, but I haven't brought it up.
First of all you can always come spend it with us. BUT I think this sounds kind of conflict avoidance.
Men are not mind readers. Ask for what you want and don't think he intuitively knows it. I am sure he doesn't.
First, thank you very much for the invite. My dad did invite me but I have 2 papers due on sunday and I just couldn't afford the travel time. However, I do hope to be able to meet up with you guys soon. We should grab some sush:)
I was afraid I might be avoiding conflict and not being direct, but I couldn't figure out how to ask about it without making myself sound like I am inviting myself to his family easter. I was raised to never invite myself places, lol.
However, I do plan on telling him that I was hurt I wasn't invited to Easter dinner and I will ask him if there was a particular reason why. I do know his family is going through some major stuff with his sister going through a very complicated divorce right now.
I am going to tell him I want to meet his parents, take them out, and officially thank them for letting us use the condo for vacation. I will tell him in a direct and concise manner!
On another sad note. D9 was asking my yesterday if her father was "born with problems" I asked her what she meant. She compared him to a friend's son who is on the spectrum (and is her age) who pretty much gets in trouble all the time for acting out. I almost died. What do you say to that?
Even last night I said whens he was getting fresh with me while trying to learn how to ride her bike "Do you want Daddy to teach you?" she said "Oh my god no, all he will do is yell and scream at me!!"
