2017 - New year - same MLC but I'm moving along

[bttrfly]

ok ... i agree with Vapo and Job ... leave it entirely between the girls and exw.

as much as you want to, don't look.

i will say this: people talk. and people are often eager to tell the ex what their former spouse is doing or not doing and with whom they are doing it. so she may have looked or someone may have volunteered. it's a small world ... mutual friends, etc.

tomorrow's the big day!!!! prayers to you all xoxoxoxoxo {{{{{hugs}}}}}

[kml]

Ohhh, ok, it all makes sense now. She knows you are dating someone and the jealousy is eating her up inside, that's why she has been contacting you.

Just because they don't want us doesn't mean they want us to be with anyone ELSE. They want us sitting there, pining, available as Plan B.

[job]

I totally agree w/Ellie on her comments about they may not want us, but they sure don't want anyone else to come into our lives. They think we should be right where they left us and be their back up Plan B.

[bttrfly]

Irish sending prayers to you and daughter14 for her appointment - it's today, isn't it? Pls update us when you get a chance xoxoxoxo sending {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

[Irish M]

Hi everyone. Sorry for the late update about my D14. Thank you all for having her in your prayers.

Today was stressful for myself and D14. Hospitals are not fun places to be. Especially ones for sick children.

The doctor said no concern. That they see no danger to her health and her episodes are less frequent , which is good. I have been keeping a chart of them in detail. The cyst is small and it is impossible to say that it causes any pressure. So they think the majority of symptoms that my daughter has been experiencing is due to anxiety and stress. When she goes into panic mode the nausea and tunnel vision happens. feeling faint. They are aware of our situation and have asked me to re-consult with a psychologist.

They said even people with over sized cysts in the brain larger in size aren't even in danger. There is no solid mass to them and usually are filled with brain fluid, similar to the fluids around the brain. My daughters is the size of her eyeball. Only flat so less of a problem. No blood either. A follow up scan will e done in 6 months and a year.

relieved to know she is fine. They also said many people have these. They found ours because of the scan they did because of her tunnel vision and headaches. To root out a tumor.

I think me and the girls will sleep better tonight.


I'll update on my XW on another post.

[Irish M]

Hi Vapo, job, bttrfly.
I will butt out. Not my job to read them. I am to protect them from danger. If their mom writes a letter I wont stand in the way. no dumpster diving either.

I've gotten enough messages from her in the last week to last me a year.

Hi RD, thanks for the support.Always good to hear from you.

Hi Peace, no clue why she brought up my friend. I do think 2 of my wives friends hear from her. Also Update her. I don't ask them to not do it or not talk to her. It's there choice. We have an understanding to tell me nothing about her and don't tell me what to do about her.

Hi KML and Job, if that is her reasons for all these messages, That she is losing her plan B. That's nuts. How could they think that. But then again MLC...


Well , after Monday emails that I posted. I figured XW would disappear again after the truth darts and that I said, Go ahead write the girls a letter. No one is stopping her.

She texted me that night at 10:30pm.

I will try to communicate better with you. I am working hard on this. As promised I will write the girls. I want to chose my words wisely. I don't want to upset them. Thank you for giving me that chance to chat with you. I am tired and i just took a pill to help me sleep. Good night.

Tuesday she was quiet. No messages. Felt relaxing. was sure now she would of went silent and she would mail those letters in the coming days or weeks.

Today. It was email crazy. I will summarize the long emails.

Starts out asking about D14 - great start :-)
I update her and she asks many questions as if she didn't read the update. I decide to write in on here email next to her questions. So maybe it will make more sense. I also write in french , her mother tongue.

Her emails says. I'll put it in point form.

[list]
1- I'm seeing an online therapist. he is coaching me through this
2- I need to keep active and busy to fill the void the girls left in my heart
3- I'm surprised I am still alive. it's a miracle.
4- You and the girls need to not live in the past. Get over it. We cant change the past we can only control the future. Yes I agree, but we need to resolve the past not dwell on it. Unsolved issues are like cracks in the foundation. If we don't fix them it will all fall apart.

5- Do you think we can see those therapist you got in the beginning. to Help with the girls. Ask them in your letter. it is up to them if they want to try again. I will tell you that they won't accept any lies from you. that's why it failed the last time.
6- I can apologize all day long. I know what i did is wrong. I hurt this family. If you trust me to show you we can move forward.
7- Your girlfriend is of no concern to me and my boyfriend should have no concern to you. It is still none of your business my relationship with him. I'm glad you don't ask. I don't, I don't really care about him.
8- We can't move forward as a couple if you don't trust me.We are not a couple.
9- You don't want to be friends and it's probably best this way as it wouldn't work for me either.
10- Your insecurities caused all this. You couldn't let it go. [color:#33CCFF]No, you cheating on my created my insecurities and spark some jealousy. We didn't get the help we needed to fix those cracks in our couple.
Leaving the girls has nothing to do with us breaking up.
11- When you are ready to take a look at our future and the future of the girls let me know. I'll be waiting :-)
[*]

simple exchange. weird comments by her about couple and our future.
I'm not going to question it at all. She's all over the map.

Now off to bed, I am exhausted.

take care and huggs to you all.

Irish

[kml]

Wow, she's a mess. Good job on your responses. She kept angling and you kept refusing to take the bait - excellent job.

[mleigh4]

Hey Irish. I see I have missed a lot in your world. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help support what I am sure have been some very scary Dr. Visits with your daughter. I am so glad to hear her cyst is not a danger.

As far as your XW, what a change from her silent days.

Keep up the good work of taking care of yourself and your girls.

M

[bttrfly]

thank God for the good news!!! sleep well mon ami, with a peaceful heart and mind {{{{{hugs}}}}}

[bttrfly]

hi Irish,
Wow.
I am in complete agreement with Ellie - you have done and continue to do a phenomenal job in your responses to exw

every time i type exw autocorrect tries to make it eew which makes me giggle so i thought i'd share

i don't think i could handle a similar conversation with exh as superbly as you are handling this, but it must come at a price - no wonder you're exhausted! first the stress with d14's appt and then this barrage of MLC pursuit and distance. shaking my head, most especially at the couple comment, your response and the last line about her waiting for you to be ready to move forward????? WTH???? what alternate reality is she living in?

Anyway. again, tres manifique!!! you are a rock star of restraint. so proud of you! xoxoxoxo