There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I did actually tell him I was no longer going to do X, Y and Z. His response was, as long as I'm giving you money, you will. At which point I told him those were things a wife or girlfriend would do and I am no longer either. It may not have been the most appropriate thing to say, but it drove my point home. I will say he stumbled on that. I'm not sure he's really thought about it that way or maybe he just had no response.
Hi 010207,
THIS. IS. PERFECT.
You really hit this one out of the park. It isn't rude, just stating that he fired you as his wife/girlfriend so he no longer gets those benefits.
I'm sorry that speaking with your attorney was so hard. It is important to understand your rights and keep your eyes wide open.
It is going to sound like an echo around here because I agree with everyone regarding taking the high road. You keep being the best Mom that your precious kids know they can count on no matter the circumstances.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Jeep, you are right and he's already played that card before.
Gump, I plan to take that high road, it's just not always the easiest road to take. You made me laugh out loud with your last comment. So thank you for that. You have no idea how much I needed that today.
And then I cried with Christy's comments. I am all over the place today. ALL I care about is being a good mom to my kids. They are everything that is good in my life. I hate that they are going through this and I can't protect them from it. And it hasn't even begun.
Thank you for the support. It's so appreciated
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
And then I cried with Christy's comments. I am all over the place today. ALL I care about is being a good mom to my kids. They are everything that is good in my life. I hate that they are going through this and I can't protect them from it. And it hasn't even begun.
From what I have derived from reading your posts, it seems that you are an awesome mom. Just do your best and give them a rock to lean on. They will need that.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
And then I cried with Christy's comments. I am all over the place today. ALL I care about is being a good mom to my kids. They are everything that is good in my life. I hate that they are going through this and I can't protect them from it. And it hasn't even begun.
Thank you for the support. It's so appreciated
Hi 010207,
Oh no! Crying because of what I posted? I'm so sorry.
Please give me a call at 303-444-7004 and let's talk.
Cristy
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
What a week this has been. H is now blatantly open with dating his OW. Made sure I was aware of his date with her over the weekend and his impromptu meeting last night. I honestly have no feelings about it other than that it's rude and disgusting. You're still in my house! He had the nerve to tell me last night that she baked him cookies and would it be ok to bring them in. Ummm....no. keep your gf's crap out of my house. Is it me or is this just beyond crazy? I am not your friend. I am not your roommate. Why should this be acceptable?
I took off my wedding ring. So strange after 20 years to not see it anymore. I find I keep trying to turn it before I realize it's gone. I went out with a friend Saturday night which was fun. Met with OW's fiancée for coffee Sunday. Listening to him I find myself wondering how H is going to feel in a few months when this new R fails. This is not a woman he's going to tolerate long and he's kicking his family to the curb for her.
I'm finding out that once people know about your impending D, they are very open with their own issues. Not only friends, but even a guy from my D's sports. All I hear myself saying lately is the grass is not greener...fix your marriage. And unfortunately I'm learning not everyone is who they say they are or you think they are. Makes me saď.
The best part...received a text from H this afternoon... 1st mediation appointment scheduled for this Monday. These mediations are supposed to be in lieu of courts and attorneys. I called a new attorney though and have an appointment with her tomorrow. Of course I knew it was coming, but it still feels like a kick to the stomach. It's the beginning of the end. Such a scary place to be.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
I've had 2 friends tell me in the last couple of days that they loved me and were so grateful to have me in their lives. What a wonderful thing to be told! One day I hope to find a new life partner who feels the same way.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated
Do you really want to save your marriage? Any answer is perfectly fine at this point. Really ask yourself that question. If a magic fairy appeared and said that they could save or end your marriage today, what would your wish be?
If your true answer would be to save your marriage, then you need to make some major 180's at this point. Try something different. It seems as though everything that you have done has not worked. It is time to flip the script.
Here is an idea that you could at least try and see what the reaction is:
Pick a night this week or over the weekend. When your WH is out, get dressed to the 9's. Hair, makeup, clothes...all of it. As soon as WH comes home, tell him that you are going out. Tell him that the kids have had dinner and that you will be home later. If he asked where you are going or who you are going with, tell him you are going "out" with "friends". THAT'S IT. If he asks when you will be home, say "later". If he continues to press you on it, tell him nothing, just leave. You can go wherever you want. Go to a bar. Meet up with an actual friend. Go to Target. Drive around and listen to music. WHATEVER. Just go out. Don't stay out too late, but make sure it is about 3 hours.
Just try this once and see what happens. Change things. Do something different and see how he reacts. I would normally not recommend this to some LBS, but it seems that you have nothing to lose at this point.
His reaction will tell you a lot about where you really stand and you can plan your next course of action based on it.
M-42 W-40 S-12 D-10 Together-13 years Married-10 years Separated-6/2016 ILYBINILWY-7/2016 EA-4/2016 (best guess) PA-7/2016 (best guess)
Pick a night this week or over the weekend. When your WH is out, get dressed to the 9's. Hair, makeup, clothes...all of it. As soon as WH comes home, tell him that you are going out. Tell him that the kids have had dinner and that you will be home later. If he asked where you are going or who you are going with, tell him you are going "out" with "friends". THAT'S IT. If he asks when you will be home, say "later". If he continues to press you on it, tell him nothing, just leave. You can go wherever you want. Go to a bar. Meet up with an actual friend. Go to Target. Drive around and listen to music. WHATEVER. Just go out. Don't stay out too late, but make sure it is about 3 hours.
Just try this once and see what happens. Change things. Do something different and see how he reacts. I would normally not recommend this to some LBS, but it seems that you have nothing to lose at this point.
Is this assuming she wants to save the marriage?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
