When my W blames me for everything I do sometimes want to scream, no you are the one who is cheating on me and wanting a divorce!!!
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
When my W blames me for everything I do sometimes want to scream, no you are the one who is cheating on me and wanting a divorce!!!
Then why don't you drop a few truth bombs?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Thanks, man. Yesterday wasn't a good one. I don't know if its a combination of what if's and what could have been's, or whatever, yesterday was just sucktastic.
You can relate because our situations are similar from the abuse standpoint. Yes, she is an adult and knows right from wrong, but she is so shaped by her past that it almost controls her present. You know, there is no getting over it or being ready, you just have to compartmentalize things. It will always be there. Always.
That's, the thing. On some levels, she can't help it. But on others, she knows exactly what she is doing - and that is what she always has, ran. There is no going back for us - she cut the supply lines and safety nets a long time ago. Compartmentalize.
However, the clouds parted a little. On the hour + drive to get the kids, Harley called. Seems as if she has a sixth sense or something.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
When my W blames me for everything I do sometimes want to scream, no you are the one who is cheating on me and wanting a divorce!!!
Gordie,
I sympathize with you. I'm still amazed at how easily my W (now XW) was able to effortlessly distort reality and find a way to blame anything and everything on me.
I'm still amazed at how easily my W (now XW) was able to effortlessly distort reality and find a way to blame anything and everything on me.
Yes sir. Same here.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
That's, the thing. On some levels, she can't help it. But on others, she knows exactly what she is doing - and that is what she always has, ran. There is no going back for us - she cut the supply lines and safety nets a long time ago. Compartmentalize.
Jeep,
I'm sorry yesterday was so bad. I've had difficulty with that dichotomy as well; my XW is driven by inner demons, but I know her and I know deep-down she knows that she's going down a destructive path.
I'm glad Harley was able brighten your mood. Telepathy is one of the keys to a good relationship.
Thank you, my friend. Let me ask you this - do you feel that your marriage ended because of her demons, much like mine did?
Harley has a way of doing that...
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Thank you, my friend. Let me ask you this - do you feel that your marriage ended because of her demons, much like mine did/
Jeep,
Yes, I'm certain her childhood issues played a large role in the breakup of our marriage. In fact, she's always amazed me at how well she was able to function so well given what she'd been through earlier in life. Marriage aside, I wish she would've been more proactive about getting help.
One of the many unfortunate downsides of dissociative identity disorder is that, when an alter (an alternate personality) goes way, it's usually like the death of a real person has occurred. The alters fear death, just like any person would, even though it's not physical death. Therefore, there's a natural reluctance to get the kind of help they need because healing implicitly requires death of the insiders. It's a terrible and devastating psychological disorder.
I need to read up more on this. As with you, I'm also amazed that mine has functioned so well - to even become a ranking officer, no less. However, once that uniform comes off its like a light switch. I've said this before, but her cracks really started showing around the time our daughter was born...and when she reached the age of when my ex's abuse started, its like the flood gates opened. It was about seven months after when the BD happened, affair, etc.
I know mine has seen help only because she was ordered to do so. As I have discussed in other threads, she is very manipulative, so-to-speak...she always says they are of no help or "can only go so far."
There are quite a few things I can't speak of here, but I will personal. Not a great thing, my friend. Not at all.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
