Sorry Jeep, I was off for a day (actually doing work at work) and I missed it. I get not wanting to be alone forever, but it is a great thing for a period of time. You are still pretty fresh and not quite there yet. I may make sounding like being alone is miserable, but it's not. I did it not wanting any guy in my life for quite a while, and that was a time I discovered me, completely let go of my ex, and came to a point where someone would be an enhancement of my life, not just a void-filler.
These days I cannot stop cooking. All I do is go to the gym and cook. That is what I do with my relaxing time. No TV, no laying around. Cooking. It's extremely therapeutic to me. The crapload of dishes is not therapeutic, however. It's a good distraction and I take pride in my creations.
Think I'll have to host a dinner party soon, so someone else can enjoy it aside from me!
All I do is go to the gym and cook. That is what I do with my relaxing time. No TV, no laying around. Cooking. It's extremely therapeutic to me. The crapload of dishes is not therapeutic, however. It's a good distraction and I take pride in my creations.
I'm not in the cooking as I can't worth a darn, but the gym. At least exercising five days a week, six or seven if the kids are with their mom.
I agree with your alone sentiment. Maybe one day. Me first.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I came to a realization. I have learned to live my lonliness and pain. It's a part of me I have simply learned to deal with. If you know me, you know I am social, I laugh, I have fun, I am up for anything, I am active, I get stuff done. I get excited to see new places and do new things.If you look at me, interact with me, you would never know what I carry around. And it's not that I force myself to be like or do those things, it is a who I really am. I can have a happy or functional part of me while carrying around pain and loneliness.
I couldn't even figure out for a while how I could feel the pain I do while feel ok at the same time. Sometimes you just learn how to carry things well. I have an amazing ability to deal with so much. I also don't let my pain be the only part of me. There is more to me.
G, I don't feel like posting on my thread tonight (although I will Sunny, thanks for checking in!) For some reason it's easier for me just to reply to others.
Quote:
A man that traveled the world to see the Buddha. He finally got an audience, and proceeded to tell the Buddha all about his problems. His family problems. His crops. His finances. Etc. Buddha calmly nodded.
Finally the Buddha said "I can't help you". The man was upset and asked what he meant. Buddha replied "Everyone has problems. 83 problems to be exact. And there's nothing you can do about it. If you work hard you can solve one, but another will appear in it's place. For example, you're going to lose all of your loved ones at some point, we'll all die. Now that's a problem no one can do anything about."
So the man was furious and asked what the point of being wise was!
Buddha told him he could help with his 84th problem...the desire to not have any problems.
Copied from a post from a year ago, excerpt from a book I read.
I am not on any type of spiritual kick that I'm aware of. But the last 30 months life has thrown some pretty hard problems at me. Some of them will make my life incredibly challenging for years. Others simply can't be solved.
And this has forced me to decide to enjoy what I can anyway. This one story has been my mantra and has helped me find some calm in the middle of the storm of life.
Yes, I'm sick to my stomach about going to work tomorrow morning. I have been fighting for my sales job every day for a year now. I think I'm going to lose the fight, but I have to keep on smiling and trying to make each customer interaction a positive one. And I don't think I can replace my income. When I get home I'm so demoralized it makes me want to curl up in a ball and never wake up, but my kids want to shove scribbles they made in my face and have me put them on my refrigerator so I have to suck it up and stuff my pain some more. My house purchase got cancelled. I gained a few pounds and was down to 2 suits, and one of them split open. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I only get to play pool once a month, even though every time I play it amazes me I don't do this for a living. My kids want to do nothing but watch Youtube videos.
But, I have a job to go to today. I have food to eat for tomorrow. I have kids shoving scribbles in my face. Some of them actually look pretty cool when your inner bleeding blots up a little. Thufir Hawat just told the Baron why the Emperor really moved against House Atreides. And while I have to nudge them to turn off the Kindle's, my daughters are shooting pool balls in like real pool players, and my daughter is playing some good chess. And reading on her own. And we are watching The Voice singing show where they are learning about different types of music. And I get to eat a fancy lunch now and then and put it on my corporate card.
In the end, it's life. It's painful and difficult, and funny and sweet. We can't remove the hard parts. All we can do is not allow the pain and difficulty to sour the funny and sweet.
The funny thing is that the things that are the most powerful also seem the most cliche, trite, and insufferable. Ah, well. Sorry for that. But maybe the fact that these words are both so inspirational and obnoxious at the same time is just this principle displaying itself in the very breath it's spoken.
Now y'all know why my doctor gives me pills to keep the crazy symptoms down. You should have seen me 5 years ago. Sorry XW...
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
The fear got me too. When you let it go. Things will look up again.. There are things u can change and things you cant. Focus on what you can change and leave the other stuff aside for now.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I came to a realization. I have learned to live my lonliness and pain. It's a part of me I have simply learned to deal with. If you know me, you know I am social, I laugh, I have fun, I am up for anything, I am active, I get stuff done. I get excited to see new places and do new things.If you look at me, interact with me, you would never know what I carry around. And it's not that I force myself to be like or do those things, it is a who I really am. I can have a happy or functional part of me while carrying around pain and loneliness.
I couldn't even figure out for a while how I could feel the pain I do while feel ok at the same time. Sometimes you just learn how to carry things well. I have an amazing ability to deal with so much. I also don't let my pain be the only part of me. There is more to me.
Just something I thought I would share.
Like you, its hidden pretty well. Just like water off the back of the duck. It rolls and never sticks. At least not that no one can see, anyway.
I like your way of thinking.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I got tricked into having dinner with my D, the ex and his wife tonight. yes, I was tricked and put on the spot. I cannot back out either because of D. At first, I thought he was just taking D for dinner. It's a long story, too much to type.The only good thing is the cheapo is paying tonight because he has gift cards to the restaurant. And yea, even after all these years and zero desire for my ex, I still make sure I look extra hot when she is around. Not really how I wanted to spend my night. But if I don't go, D can't go and she will be really upset. So I suck it up for my kid.
We are going away on sunday for 2 nights. That I can't wait for. 4 day weekend, yay! Indoor waterpark, it'll be like pretend summer. I will sipping my frozen beverage in the pretend heat.
I had a good cry for someone I miss last night. Felt good to get out of my system. Saw my IC the other night. I told her all I do is cook and go to the gym, but it keeps me busy and my mind busy. She says she is always impressed with the healthy -good- choice GAL activities I chose. I am in fact addicted to cooking. Very therapeutic. So are my workouts. I would love to share it with someone who appreciates it. Spread the food love. And my workouts are the 45 min of my life a day where I can leave my head. I have never been able to that.
A lovely woman posted the other day on FB a meme that said "I am a happy person with a heavy soul". it's exactly how I would describe myself.
The gift in all of this is when what I hope for comes along I will cherish it to no end.
am in fact addicted to cooking. Very therapeutic. So are my workouts. I would love to share it with someone who appreciates it. Spread the food love. And my workouts are the 45 min of my life a day where I can leave my head. I have never been able to that.
I can relate. My workouts are my escape. 30 minutes to an hour every day (without kids). A place where I can empty my mind and concentrate on the task at hand. Whether its lifting, cardio, or just hitting the punching bag. Exercise is the single best anti-depressant there is.
Good on ya!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
