My WW and the Great Sandi2 Experiment

[bigybiz]

I can not agree more on the text/calls, etc. Go dark. Unless it's an emergency or close to it. Otherwise, make every decision on your own.

We are here for you if you want to chit chat about the day or share something that happened, talk to us.

One great nugget I got from Sandi2 was "You are not her secretary". I don't remind her of appt's etc. We've used a calendar in the kitchen. I tell her to check the calendar for updates. She squawks and complains, I tell her that this family has used this system for 15+ years. If you don't like you can recommend and implement a new system and why should she get special treatment.

Also, I say don't email me with updates, etc - I tell her to put it on the calendar. I'm not your secretary.

Any documents that come home, I put it in a binder and it's there for her. I'm not her secretary.

If she send me a text and it's worth a prompt response. I phone - as Paclove said it removes the anxiety, expectations, etc. If I speak to her great, if not I leave a message saying responding to your message call me back.

Wait for her to bring issues etc to you. It's very hard - but it will pay off. It's taken me months but, I tell you she is getting the message and I'm feeling great.

[Chris73]

Thanks for all the advice and support everyone.

I just bit the bullet and ordered 3 sessions with a telephone coach. First one will be on Monday. Until then I'm going to try to keep kicking this nonsense out of my mind with GAL stuff.

Heading to the gym now. Tomorrow I'm going to a musician meet up in the city to jam. It will be my first one. So I hope to make some new friends there. Sunday is my S8's belated birthday party for his friends at a sports zone type facility. And you better believe that I will be in there with the 8-year-olds instead of trying to play the happy husband with the parents. Then after the party is Giants vs Green Bay. (Yes, I live in Philly and I root for the Giants.) Might even go out to watch the game and take my S8 with me.

[Chris73]

(wondering why all of a sudden my posts need to be moderated again...?)

[Cadet]

(wondering why all of a sudden my posts need to be moderated again...?)

I have no clue.

Did you post something against the TOS?

If not you should e-mail Virginia.

[Cadet]

I just bit the bullet and ordered 3 sessions with a telephone coach.

Just noticed this.
Did you give out your DB name over the phone?

[Chris73]

No, the TOS violation was on another users thread.

[Cadet]

No, the TOS violation was on another users thread.

Sorry to hear this, I saw the message.
You will need to be on good behavior and then e-mail Virginia.

[Chris73]

Gym was great. Totally pulled me out of my funk. Came home and the kids were still up watching a movie with my W. I decided to sit down with them. I wasn't going to hide in another room and I wasn't going to tell my W to leave. Just kept up my good mood until the kids were in bed.

As an interesting footnote to my earlier post, I went downstairs to finish the laundry that I had started last night and it was all out of the dryer lying in a pile on the folding table. You should've seen the grin that appeared on my face when I saw it! But I didn't overreact at all, and then my W came down and said, "Oh, I was just coming down to do that." I kept folding and didn't say anything.

Tomorrow our paths are not likely to cross at all. I kinda feel relieved about that...

[mvgfwd2]

Exercise is the best medicine for all of us. Clears your head and heart while making it easier to sleep restfully. There is no better medicine.

[MoveFrwd]

I say be true to your feelings.

Please don't listen to this advice. In fact, this is the opposite of what MAD writes about. You should be working towards your goals regardless of your feelings. If you're on a diet and feel hungry - do you eat regardless of the big picture? No...you think about how many calories you've consumed, the plan for the rest of the day, when you ate last, etc.

Make a plan and stick to it. Don't act based on how you FEEL.