The sun will rise for a new day

[ATPeace]

Thank you for replying it means a lot at this time

I am at the point where I have two of my children who have said they will move with me and they both want me to move forward with the purchase of the house in the country near to my sister and my mum

I struggle with relationships and I do not want to get to the point where my W turns arround to me and says I have met someone else I know she is already private messaging a guy that she talks to when she goes out with her girly friends

It is not for me to control her I do not want to she is free to make the decisions that she will make

I have grown in knowledge from here and even tho I have not exactly divorcebusted like a pro the fact is I know my W and she is not changing her mind she never does

It is also clear to me that even if she turned arround one sunny day and said you know what I think we should give it another go ....at some point and I do not know when wpthis would be I am 100% sure that I would end up doing something that would make her say I have let her down again and this is what she know would happen ....and this is why she will never get back with me.

So every decision is going to have an effect I do not know if I am making the right choice but I am doing something and for so long now I have been reacting to what has happened,

I love my W but it is time to let her go I have a choice to make Risk loosing the house in the country the house my children like and would like to live in or stay in the house here with my W and my children in limbo with a person who states she wants to live in separate houses

I am going out tomorrow local meet up group

[Sotto]

Well I'm glad you are going to a local meet up group and making plans for new living arrangements with family support nearby too. That all sounds positive.

I'm sorry your W is PMing some guy - that tends to happen

I just wanted to comment on the 'negative framing' of things - something to notice in ourselves and watch out for - "I struggle with relationships" "she is not changing her mind" "she will never get back with me"

We are all flawed individuals who struggle with many things and excel at others - that's fine. As for the future, who knows how that may unfold, and how your W may feel in time?

Good luck with your plans

[Huddy]

Yes, it's hard Ghost, but a pat on the back from me for moving forward. I understand your worries about your kids, but you now have to be the best one parent father you can be. It's hard, but you can do it. You're no longer a newcomer - come over to the MLC forum where I think you belong!