7 months since Separation and 12+ since BD1 and I've still got mine on. It's been off for a few hours at times but I always feel guilty/empty when it is so it quickly finds its way back on. TBH when I take it off it's usually because I'm noticing an attractive girl, so less about W and more about temptation...
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
Mines been off since the second time my W went to see OM. Hers has been off about a month before that. I just can't bring myself to wear it and find myself thinking if we are able to R then I'll need to get another one. To me that ring symbolizes a M that's no longer there. A new one would symbolize something new that we are both committed to.
Doodler, excellent idea by the way! Ha!
JR, good to see you brother!
FG, I think your comments around strength from honor are spot on. Sticking to your principles in the face of something this rough can only help build you as a man and human being. I've no doubt that we will all come out much stronger and with a better understanding of ourselves when all is said and done. To JRs point, this is definitely not first wave at Omaha Beach tough, thank god for that! Easy to get lost in self pity, but a perspective smack like that helps to leap out of that hole!
Hang in there brother, you're fighting the good fight!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
My task -- during this gift of time -- is to see my wife for who she is. No more, nor any less, than who she is. I think I am gaining some clarity. It's not easy.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Mine's been off for almost a year now. We've been divorced for about three months now. It was the oddest feeling taking it off - like a limb was missing. I was cleaning the other day and found it...didn't even try it on.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I stopped wearing mine after T-giving...mainly because H stopped. Since we each would now and again take the rings off for chores or weekend activities with the kids, I don't feel it's that big of a deal...except when I noticed he stopped wearing it daily. Even then, it won't really be a huge deal until we officially announce publicly to our family and friends. Right now, as juvenile as it sounds, on social media, we both have 'married' as our status. It's pathetic that this is our indication of where we are in our marital journey: married on social media.
It's a confusing and sad time.
So, your mantras are good. My daughter's obsession with Elsa and Frozen was prescient. That song!
You deserve better (W needs to finish being a work in progress). Your children will be ok. You will be ok.
Interesting replies here. I still wear mine. W still wears hers and she says it is her favorite ring and is still going to wear it after S or D. Who knows if she will or not or maybe it just moves to a different finger. I don't know what I'll do.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Interesting replies here. I still wear mine. W still wears hers and she says it is her favorite ring and is still going to wear it after S or D. Who knows if she will or not or maybe it just moves to a different finger. I don't know what I'll do.
Why wear it if a divorce happens?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
