Here's what it says so you don't have to click on the link:
"Just a little update.
I will move to the Surviving the Divorce forum, although I am not legally divorced at this time. It feels very much like I am emotionally.
The earliest either of us could file, was in mid-October. STBXH has not filed. I am pretty sure he is using me as protection against having to marry OW, as she wants him to and he doesn't want to at this point.
I'm not filing, partly out of principle, partly out of convenience (it is a significant financial benefit for me to stay M). Also, I need time to recover. I just can't take on the stress of a D process right now. I'm very, very happy with my life as it is and I don't want to get dragged back into that world until I have to.
Due to potential legal ramifications, I can't say a whole lot about what's going on in my life outside my usual activites, except that it has taken a very unexpected but happy direction. I am in a much better place than I was during most of my M, with a level of equal and respectful interaction, exploration and understanding, connection, challenge, and healing that I didn't think was possible. I didn't plan for it, but I'm not going to turn down a connection that seems rare and precious.
I hope this can be an encouraging post for those who are losing hope about their M. There is life after the death of the M, and it can be much better. You can take what you learned about yourself and relationships and put it to use to create a better future."
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Thanks, Vanilla, Doodler and Zues! Good to see all these familiar names.
I don't have much to report. Life is interesting and challenging, but all good. It feels very rich. I have lots of social activities going on, still attend a Divorce Care group, but I can tell I'm really past most of the feelings that are being discussed. I guess the weekly IC has let me process so much already. I go now mostly to support other members and also to gain whatever I can from it. We're going to discuss how to get through the holidays. I actually look more forward to the holidays this year than I have for years. I can do it my way, with people who accept me and like me the way I am.
I wanted to recommend a website for meditation that I have found to be quite good - www.headspace.com. They offer a 10-day free trial before subscribing. I have done the 10 meditations over 14 days or so (some days get too busy), and already noticed in the last few days a difference in how I feel.
My goal has been primarily to improve my focus and remove blocks I have for certain tasks. I think it can be very helpful for anyone.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
WH broke yet another promise. Due to legal issues I can't be too specific, but he had promised me that he would let me know if he decided to file for a D and he has filed without telling me. My friend says he's at least completely consistent on that he always lies.
I remember how we disliked his ex for always filing something in court before the holidays. I guess he learned from her.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Really he's happy so throws a hangreade at your holidays...
Well whoop it up lets go party barbie! Shows hurting people hurt... So things aren't great in paradise to bad his sand box.
Get out don let it worry you as you said you felt divorced so don't let it worry you on but his choices ha cannot hold you responsible for ever not any more.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
Sorry it's taken me so long to offer up your official welcome Painter. You know we're glad you've found your way here. Happy to hear you have some good things in your life.
Painter, that really svcks. You have my sympathy though. I found out mine had filed by reading it on the internet while I was home visiting my family for Christmas. lol
