Life is kicking my butt

[mvgfwd2]

How did you get to only 10 days custody per month?

[qt4x11]

My schedule right now, according to temporary custody agreement is -

1. Fri night - Mon morning (two weekends basically a month, 3 overnights each - so 6 overnights)

2. Overnights every Wed night, drop them at school Thurs morning.

That's 10 overnights a month. 50/50 custody should be 14 overnights a month.

What she is asking for is outrageous:

1. Pick up the kids Fri night, bring them back to hers Sun night (so 2 overnights per weekend, 2 weekends per month = 4 overnights)
2. Pick up the kids from school Wed and Thurs night every week, take them out to dinner or something - but return the to her house by 8pm so they can sleep at her house. (that amounts to less than 5 hrs parenting time a week with no overnights)

The above amounts to less than 5 days a month, only 4 overnights. I'm sure she's aware CS money is awarded based on the amount of overnights a parent has custody.

[qt4x11]

Tell her you'll go into bankruptcy before you'll settle for less than 50% custody.

I would too.

I really think she is out to ruin me. I am worried sick about losing my kids. I can't sleep. I stay up all night usually the past several weeks ruminating about what could happen.

[qt4x11]

What also worries me is - she has already lied to the court during mediation.

She told the mediator - an officer of the court - that I 'never put the kids to sleep at night', therefore they shouldn't sleep at my house.

This was an outright lie. She knows full well we alternated nights putting them to sleep ever since they were infants.

If she's already lying about that - what else is she willing to lie about?

[mvgfwd2]

Clearly she has had some advice on how to get as much as she can from you and what to say to the court. They will lie to the court especially when there is no evidence to the contrary. Document everything. Communicate via email and text to get the conversations documented as much as you can.

I would also respond to her custody proposal and add something like the following:

"It unreasonable for you to offer so little overnights, especially after I put them to bed every other night. With that in mind it is only fair, to me and the children, to have 50/50 custody and equal overnights. It is what is normal for them"

This does 2 things. She may contradict herself in a reply in regards to the every other night issue by acknowledging it which you can show the court at the proper time. And it gives credible reason for 50/50 custody.

[Zues126]

qt- did you ever finish reading through my threads?

I went through all of this. Perfect social media mom, SAHM for 10 years, divorced me, kept the house, then tried to get full custody to 'avoid disrupting the kids'. Also has refused to work a day to date. Government assistance. Concerns about my parental skills. The whole nine.

Today I have 50/50 custody of my children.

She didn't agree to it. She fought it every step. Even after the settlement she continued to bring up examples of how this was 'hard' for them.

But it stands.

I'd encourage you to read through 2016's posts. Social services and the court systems may not be perfect, but I was surprised at the voice I had as the children's father. This isn't 1975 anymore and equal rights has progressed for ALL.

[ForGump]

qt--

I assume you are in the U.S. You need a new lawyer if the current one can't/won't fight for 50% custody for you. Unless you have a criminal record or your wife has actual evidence of any abusive behavior.

If she's just making accusations, they are just that, and a lawyer with any competence should be able to deal with that.

I believe you mentioned making a multiple-six-figure salary. You should be able to afford a very good divorce attorney.

[MrBond]

"In my real life, if I ask my ex wife why she did this crap without even talking to me about it first - I would get the same non answers."

Really? I thought when you first came on here she was very clear. You said she told you it was because of your marijuana smoking, lying, bad temper, stress and mood swings. I don't know what part you seemed to be confused about.

Going over your threads, I don't recall, did you ever read DB or DR?

[qt4x11]

qt--

I assume you are in the U.S. You need a new lawyer if the current one can't/won't fight for 50% custody for you. Unless you have a criminal record or your wife has actual evidence of any abusive behavior.

If she's just making accusations, they are just that, and a lawyer with any competence should be able to deal with that.

I believe you mentioned making a multiple-six-figure salary. You should be able to afford a very good divorce attorney.

He's a good lawyer and he is fighting for me. I am just scared because she has already lied to an officer of the court. What else is she willing to lie about? There is a lot of CS money on the line for her.

Her lawyer is fighting dirty, I don't put anything past them. They are doing crazy s*** like - subpoenaing my work records from my last job and my current job - looking for anything they can find that will indicate some kind of character flaw.

It's just insane to me. What kind of person does this? It's hilarious to me she's convinced her whole side of the family and friends that I'm some kind of monster - and here she is doing the most greedy and reprehensible s***, hurting her own kids, for money.

[qt4x11]

qt- did you ever finish reading through my threads?

I went through all of this. Perfect social media mom, SAHM for 10 years, divorced me, kept the house, then tried to get full custody to 'avoid disrupting the kids'. Also has refused to work a day to date. Government assistance. Concerns about my parental skills. The whole nine.

Today I have 50/50 custody of my children.

She didn't agree to it. She fought it every step. Even after the settlement she continued to bring up examples of how this was 'hard' for them.

But it stands.

I'd encourage you to read through 2016's posts. Social services and the court systems may not be perfect, but I was surprised at the voice I had as the children's father. This isn't 1975 anymore and equal rights has progressed for ALL.

Hey Zeus - that gives me hope. I'll definitely look for your old posts. Thanks, hope all's well with you guys.