Jacksonville is ok, but I really like St. Augustine (that's where my grandmother was born). St. Augustine has a lot of really good Spanish style architecture.
Hi, my amazing friend. I love reading your stuff. You are so brutally honest in your assessments of yourself. Although, I have to disagree with some of them. But you know, I know how life's stuff can affect you.
You know, G, I get it that you dont want to hurt plumber guy's feelings. But the truth is, he will be fine. Better to know what's what sooner rather than later. And you can be nice and still get your point across, ya know? Just do it. .
As far as the guys you've met...I am thinking that you have one foot in to the possibilities and one foot out..if you know what I mean. You want a relationship..yet, you dont know how to fit one into your life and you worry about little G and...and...and...
My feeling is that you need to live your life and let things happen as they will. I suspect when you are in a real place of being ready, things will move in that direction. Til then...do your thing.
Sometimes people like us, who are always looking inward, can get so far inside our own head that we make it spin. LOL!
While I sometimes find it hard to follow my own advise, I am trying really hard to let life unfold. Because the more I try to plan it, the crazier I get.
And please dont sell yourself short, sweetie. You have got a hel1 of a lot to offer the right person..even with your soft core and hard shell. THe right person will see clear inside you.
Love you, my friend. Cant wait to see you again. Spoke with my sis...she cant wait to meet you.
I am afraid I am being a little selfish about plumber guy. Of course he will be fine. I think I am just scared to say how I really feel for some reason. He contacted me not at all yesterday and I bet he won't today. But I'll call him to let him know it's over instead of that ghosting thing. A secret little part of me really wanted this to work. But it's just not there for me.
I don't know how to fit it into my life. I made it work, sort of last year, singlehandedly, really, but in reality, that didn't work either.
You are right, I need to let things just unfold. I do yearn for something, but it is not the right time in my life. And of course, a part of me is afraid it will never be and this is my fate. And that being my fate scares me a bit.
I came on the verge of a breakdown last night. it was averted but I was smacked out of nowhere. I have been on autopilot. I do what I do without having time to ask myself where I am getting the energy or pitying myself for doing it all alone...... but things are REALLY busy this week. Extra really busy. I have no clue how I am going to get it done. I ran in the house to cook dinner after work, while washing dishes, and helping D9 with her homework from the kitchen simultaneously and I just said "WTF?! Why am I the only one still doing everything!" I had a short pity party, went to the gym, and I felt better.
I can't wait to see you either and meet your sister! We need to plan it soon. Once things calm down, we can all enjoy a nice day back in the 'hood!
G, it's always disappointing when someone says it's just not there for them but it's also quite freeing because Plumber can then begin looking elsewhere without holding on to "maybe" You're doing him a favour! Explain to to him in terms he'll understand "we're going to play hide the sausage...you're the sausage and I'm going to hide from you!" lol.
Well, I haven't heard from the plumber in two days. So I am thinking he moved on. I asked my therapist last night if I should each out to him and make it very clear. She said nope, leave it alone. I had a good session last night. So, the takeaway, as usual is, I am NOT difficult to love. I want pretty healthy normal things, and those healthy normal things are just not coming from these unhealthy men. She said I simply haven't found the right partner and I just need to be patient. (like you said UR) When it is time, that healthy partner will make his way to me and vice versa, and things won't seem so hard. She praised me on my ability to not let people too far in and me keeping my eyes wide open and knowing when to end it.
So, I am back to square one. No men in my life currently. The interesting thing was I mentioned to her how I am not heart broken over being alone again. I am ok with it. I am not into trying to make it work where it can't or I'm the only one trying.
I agree, if he hasn't contacted you then he got the message. If he does then be clear with him. I also agree with your therapist, the right guy hasn't come along. Apparently, it's a numbers game and the lower your numbers the less likely you are to find the right one but some of us just can't handle dating many people at one time or even meeting lots of people one after the other...that's me, anyway! Maybe it's you too. So patience is key. And it's ok to be ok with being alone...there's always the turtle!
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