I agree w/whatisis. He's got to go if he can't respect your requests about the sexual comments. He may think he sounds macho, etc., but in my books that's a step down if he can't respect you and your wishes.
BTW, I love pugs too! My neighbor has a pug and she's as cute as a button. She's very well mannered and is good w/children.
Time to turn the page and see what crops on the dating site for the month of December. There are more fish in the sea and the right one will come along and not only sweep you off your feet, but respect you for the woman that you are. You gave the plumber a chance and he blew it. That's on him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
This just reinforces my belief that people show you who they are real fast and often the hard part is believing them! You took a chance, despite his initial inappropriateness and found that he is what he presented himself to be. That's ok, you move on and see what else is out there. My best friend's psychiatrist once told him that he would date at least 20 people before he found "the one". My friend thought the shrink was nuts but he's now finding that is indeed the case! The number 20 isn't written in stone but the point being that you may have to sample a few more before finding someone who's dysfunction fits with your dysfunction lol...and you ride off into the Jersey sunset together...either that or you just get a turtle.
That balance between giving people a chance and believing who they show you they are right up front. I think the guy legit likes me, but he is just a 41 year old teenager.
My life is in order in every other way. It is nice.
20 different people to find me prince?! I cannot handle that. I'm doing the casual dating thing, but it's so weird.
I'm calling Eharmony for a refund. I've got nothing much since him and all of matches are out of the area.
It is discouraging and confusing at times. But maybe this is the way it's supposed to be for now. I can always just hope for that one that sweeps me off my feet. But I'm not holding my breath.
If it happens, it happens, if not, I always have my nice and orderly life going for me.
Well ginger FWIW I really think this was much more good than bad. It's totally okay if he's not the one. It's a fine line in the early going. If you only accept someone who sweeps you off your feet you may pass up a good one. It's always easier in hindsight to see what you saw in the beginning as a deal breaker. Again, if you jump to conclusions right away you again may well pass by a good one. It really takes several dates and that's what you did. You had to have some fun, right? Would you rather have not gone out at all? I get it's disappointing when he's not the one but unless you think going on several dates and not continuing is worse than staying home and doing nothing, I think it's the right move.
Once again I totally get it. I remember even when married I thought, wow I'm glad I'm married as I've not even met someone I'd want to date. Perhaps that's how it should be? Not that I'd act on it but it was rare I had any attraction. That's still the case, but then it will happen and I know that it still exists and is possible. Been a while but it still can happen. It only takes one.
I'd really plan on dating 20 guys and if it happens on #8 so much the better -BONUS. If not, go onto #9. I know, easy for me to say, but I really do think that if you can lower your expectations and just go with the flow you may enjoy it more. Ficus less on long term and more on having fun.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Girl, I had more success on the free dating sites anyway. I joined Match once on a free trial, the same people were there as on the free site.
I met my guy on OkCupid, I liked their screening tools, they seemed to work well for me.
But don't get discouraged. Every date gives you more information on what works for you and what doesn't. Tall Dark and Handsome has his quirks and drawbacks, I'm not sure I would have been able to appreciate him properly if not for the contrast with the other guys I dated. By the time he came along I was wise enough to value his strengths and to realize that I really didn't need the things that he doesn't bring to the table.
For instance - I'm a geeky intellectual and TDH is not. He's very smart, don't get me wrong, but less formal education and his intelligence is really people-oriented. I would have thought, in years past, that I needed that geeky intellectual stimulation - but actually, I have plenty of friends and family who fill that role. Meanwhile, TDH understands everything that's going on with me emotionally, even when I don't, and loves me unconditionally and without reservation, unlike the many Love Avoidant guys I dated. And he's similar to me in that he has a generally sunny disposition and lives his life with gratitude. I value these things much more now than when I was younger.
Just keep going on coffee dates. The internet is just a way to get to a brief coffee date. The coffee date is really the meet and greet where you can see if you're interested enough for a real date.
G, my one and only relationship since my marriage occurred after my third coffee date...so, for you, it could be twenty or it could be three, who knows...and I met her on POF.
