Focus on Me and the Boys 9

[J5K]

Ginger,

My input to her was about the boys and their well being on the exchange time. For me, the time doesn't make a difference but since they go to bed at 8 or 8:30 at the latest I do not want them to be exhausted the next day.

I stood my ground for what I believe was right for them.


xW sends a text today asking to speak with the boys prior to bed. We were at the baptism, I just happened to check my phone and sent a two word reply back "at baptism".

xW sends a text back later asking me to tell the parents of the baby I baptized congratulations. She also asked me to tell the boys that she is missing them and was thinking of them tonight and asked if I could have them call her tomorrow.

I have not responded yet. Friend of mine suggested I respond with the following:

I will do my best. Please understand tomorrow is Halloween and with me working and getting 5 boys ready it will be tough. If you do not hear from us tomorrow I will have them call you on Tuesday.

On a more positive note, the baptism was awesome. The boys participated in the event and had fun at the reception. They want to go to more baptisms! If felt nice to get lots of compliments on how I was doing with the boys and how well mannered they were.

We all danced and celebrated. I have not smiled so much in a very long time.

I do not get to see the little girl I baptized often. She was a little fussy in the beginning when she was being held by her mom and dad. She then wanted me to hold her, she calmed down right away. I started to shoosh in her little ear and it seemed to sooth her. She laid her head on my shoulder and was quiet for time I was holding her.

Had lots of compliments from the grandparents also on the little outfits I picked out for the baby also. They asked my sister if she had helped and my sister said nope, it was selected by my brother. (I did have a little help with a few things from my sis). She is a great sibling.

One last thing that was bittersweet, there was a song that played and I danced alone while everyone clapped (zembekiko dance). A lot of Greek songs are about heartbreak. Well of course this one hit the nail on the head and I did not realize it until it was too late to stop dancing. It took everything I had to hold back tears. This song was essentially about a wayward spouse. I made it through, let it go and enjoyed the rest of the night. Even got my boys to come dance with me to a really fun Greek song that had simple steps to it. It was very cute. I was proud to be their with them and teach them some new things.

[J5K]

So today xW's cell phone was turned off.

[j20a00g]

So today xW's cell phone was turned off.

Lack of payment? Something I've done so I can always ensure I can reach the kids is skype on their iPads.

[J5K]

No, not lack of payment. I wrote her an email 3 weeks ago stating I will not be paying for her cell as of the end of the month.

[sandi2]

Should be interesting.

[j20a00g]

Do you have a way to contact her immediately in case of emergencies? Tough with kids to not be able to access her. You may care more than she does which will make it more difficult.

[J5K]

j20,

Yes, I can contact her through email. I have her parent's house number also if there is an emergency.

xW calls my cell 3 times tonight and work phone 2 times and also sends an email about me not calling her tonight to speak with the boys and how I did not giver her notice about cancelling the cell phone.

Here is her email:

Jim,

I've asked two days in a row now to speak to the kids to no avail. I understood that yesterday you were at a function but I did ask to speak to them tonight. When I tried to call you, I realized my phone is out of service. Did you cut off my phone? I was willing to pay the bill until I found an appropriate plan here. There was no need to that. Nor was it courteous not to even inform me.

Please respond.


Here is how I plan to respond tomorrow morning:

xW,

Thank you for understanding that we were at the baptism.

Between work and getting 5 boys ready for Halloween we had a full day. I realize that you miss them and will have them contact you tomorrow.

With regards to the cell phone, when we spoke on October 17th, at that time, I suggested you transfer your service by the end of October. It must have felt terrible to realize your cell phone was disconnected.


I am sure she will not like the response. I did invite her to come trick or treating with the boys which she declined and said she had plans this past weekend. She also stated in her email that she was willing to pay the bill (she never mentioned to me in our verbal conversations). I did verbally advise her on Oct 17th that I would be cancelling the phone and suggested she transfer her number (I emailed my L about the phone on the 17th).

If there are any suggestions on a better way to respond, please feel free to revise my response.

[mvgfwd2]

First, don't tell her anything verbally that you don't also send in text or email.

Second, the letter is too wordy and pointless, almost like your trying to stir the pot. Just set the time for the next communication with the boys. Nothing more.

[Painter]

Jim, the only thing I would change is the last sentence. Your validation is a little over the top so it could almost sound sarcastic. Maybe rather just say 'I'm sorry it took you by surprise, I thought I was clear when we spoke about it that I would take you of the plan at the end of the month.' "Suggested" sounds vague - like there was room for misunderstanding. Was there?

I would not have cut off the phone without an e-mail. You have to cover yourself with her so you can't be made to look bad.

[J5K]

mvgfwd, Painter,

Thank you for the advice. Here is what I am replying with later this morning when I get to work.

Between work and getting 5 boys ready for Halloween we had a full day. I realize that you miss them and will have them contact you tomorrow. I'm sorry it took you by surprise, I thought I was clear when we spoke about it that I would take you of the plan at the end of the month when we spoke on October 17th.