He needs IC and a good one. He has been given the referral. If he is willing to do that and continued MC without the OW in the picture, then yes, I want to try. I already see IC and am working on my issues.
"Perhaps they should reach out to DD and ask her directly. She would certainly welcome a call as she has mentioned it's been some time since anyone has last reached out."
That would have been the perfect thing to say. Thank you. I'm going to keep that in mind for the future.
A couple more "I miss you" texts from him this morning. Trying not to overthink it. I'm just tired at this point. I feel blue today and like I didn't sleep when I did. MC tonight and I am not looking forward to it at all.
Off to MC soon but it appears I may be going alone. He says it is too hard to see me. I know in my heart that if he quits MC now, he won't go back so it will be the end.
It's been the worst day. I was sitting in my car at work about to back out when a woman lost control over car at high speed and hit my car and three others. All the air bags deployed. I'm fine but she wasn't. She was taken to hospital. Scared the crap out of me.
Hi Molly I had lost the will to live also. I know how hurtful and confusing this is. It's been a few years for me and still obsess over what happened. Today I lost a dear friend and the depression kicked in.
I will be ok and so will you. What I learned is that I needed to be strong, confident, and most of all to kill the fear..
Fear will affect your functioning. It affected mine and at times it still does.
Don't let fear stop you from living.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Whomever said MC would be terrible? It was awful. I am crying so hard right now. I've got to detach. I've got to get strong. I've got shove down the pain a bit so I can breathe.
WS bawled through the whole thing. He hasn't gone to the IC he was referred to. She called him out on that numerous times. She asked him if he was done with us and he said he was but then he contradicted himself and she called him out on that too. She says we need, at least, three months apart and working on ourselves to reset some of the patterns.
I'm left confused and hurting. She asked to schedule an appointment in two weeks and he said that was too long for us not to talk. That perplexes me if he is done. He asked to hug me outside her office. I didn't but now I wish I did. He just texted me that he is driving around, nowhere bound and I like the emotional idiot that I am, I replied, "come home". Back to NC.
I don't understand any of this. Keep working on me, right?
I think the MC suggestion is spot on. You both definitely need some time apart and to process what the heck is going on. To be honest, I've read and reread your thread and it's all over the place. I can only imagine how the session went.
Take a break. Breathe. No decisions need to be made right this second. Quit responding to texts in the way you are. You are confusing the crap out of him. He's doing the same to you. Slow down!
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Didn't sleep despite DR giving me sleep aides. I feel anxious and tired. Not going to carry my cell phone except where it's absolutely necessary today to reduce the temptation to text him or to even check if he has texted me.
True story: After my wife and I had separated, I was having one of my worst days ever. I didn't bring my lunch to work so I decided to go to a nearby grocery store to get something to eat.
Just before I entered the grocery store, some guy asked me for money. (I assumed he was homeless, because he certainly looked like it.) He said he was hungry and just wanted to buy some ramen noodles so he could have something to eat. Of course, I was thinking that was total b*llshit; I was certian he just wanted some beer. I looked in my wallet and all I had was a five dollar bill. I gave him the $5. He thanked me and said he give me $10 back the next day. I immediately thought b*llshit and told him not to worry about paying me back.
I went in the grocery store and got a few things for lunch and as I was walking to the checkout line I saw the guy buying a large package of ramen noodles and a lotto ticket. I never saw him again, but he actually bought the ramen noodles and I'm assuming his intention was to get a winning ticket so he could repay me. That blew my mind and it made my week. Sometimes the little things make a big difference.
Thanks, doodler. I think it's going to be difficult for me to put one foot in front of the other today. Looking on my phone this morning to see if there is someone I can text for a little support and there isn't. I have to change that.
