Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 12 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 11 12
msp710 #2708222 10/04/16 01:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,121
Hello msp710,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

Be very cautious regarding proceeding with MC. Not all MC are created equal. Michele has a terrific video regarding MC. Please send me and email and I will send you the link, no charge of course. Seeing a therapist together will not get your W to admit she's having an affair. Seeing a therapist together does give your W the ability to check off the box so she can alleviate guilt and say she tried everything.

Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
TxHubby #2708227 10/04/16 02:06 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
M
msp710 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
I'm going to cancel the MC. She just texted me that she was going to the diner to help her buddy to prepare for some evaluation he had at work. I'm done.

What do I do now? It's clear what's happening. She wants to go to a mediator so she can end this asap.


Me: 46, WAW/WW:44
Kids-D 12y/o
T: 20
M: 15
BD: 9-20-16
msp710 #2708239 10/04/16 02:57 PM
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,387
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,387
Originally Posted By: msp710
She swears that there isn't anyone else and I'm not sure I could prove it without following her around. What should I do?


She was at a male coworker's house til 1:30 a.m. What more do you need to know. Does it really matter if there was physical contact or not. Does it change what you do.


Me: 50, MLC/WW 45
Young kids
Nov 2015: BD1
Apr 2016: BD2
Jan 2017: W filed
Feb 2017: D final
msp710 #2708240 10/04/16 03:14 PM
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 906
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 906
Originally Posted By: msp710
I'm going to cancel the MC. She just texted me that she was going to the diner to help her buddy to prepare for some evaluation he had at work. I'm done.

What do I do now? It's clear what's happening. She wants to go to a mediator so she can end this asap.


Follow Sandi's rules. She doesn't get to dictate the timeline of this. Nobody can force you to do anything you don't want to do. Slow the process down. Make yourself less available. Follow the rules. 180, detach, all that good stuff. I won't repeat them here, you can read them on their posted thread.



The future is as bright as you demand it be.
TxHubby #2708261 10/04/16 05:55 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
M
msp710 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
Honestly, she's following the script to a tee. She went to"help" her co-worker at 3:30 while I was at work. Left my daughter at home by herself for 2.5 hours until I got home. 5 hours later, she's still not home.


Me: 46, WAW/WW:44
Kids-D 12y/o
T: 20
M: 15
BD: 9-20-16
msp710 #2708262 10/04/16 06:04 PM
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 289
J
Jug Offline
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Aug 2016
Posts: 289
I feel for you man. That svcks. Follow the rules.


- m and ww in 30s
- s4
- m 11 yrs, t12
-ilybinilwy ~5/16 + request for OM
- bd 7/16, confirm ea and strongly suspected pa
- 9/16 ww claimed to have broken contact with om
Jug #2708263 10/04/16 06:16 PM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
"Best advice ever on here:
"Believe nothing she says, and only half what she does"

You know this is from the book right? Did you ever finish reading it? In terms of DB, what have you been doing for you?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2708295 10/05/16 03:25 AM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
M
msp710 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
I've gone back to church and I've started running again. I've spent more time with my daughter in the last two weeks than I have in the last two months.

I've even following the 37 rules but an affair is tough to ignore.

I'm devastated but I'm going to go to the MC just to see how she spins this into my fault. I have a consultation with a lawyer next week.

I can't take this anymore.


Me: 46, WAW/WW:44
Kids-D 12y/o
T: 20
M: 15
BD: 9-20-16
msp710 #2708320 10/05/16 05:42 AM
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
Again, in terms of the book and its section on goals, what have you been doing? I get the feeling you really didn't read it.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
MrBond #2708344 10/05/16 06:48 AM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
M
msp710 Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 59
I've read DBing twice and I've been following the 37 rules from almost the beginning. If I'm acting erratic its because I'm stunned. I read nearly all the first person accounts on this board but when things start happening to you, it's still hard to grasp.

Trust me, I've been working on myself. I been going to therapy and GAL. If I had to stay at home and do anything but the 37 rules, I'd lose my mind.


Me: 46, WAW/WW:44
Kids-D 12y/o
T: 20
M: 15
BD: 9-20-16
Page 7 of 12 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 11 12

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard