Share a thought with us that is with hope... Dig deep and do so with genuine emotion attached my friend... What is one positive activity that you have done today?
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
I'm sending positive thoughts your way. I do hope today is a good one for you. It's one step at a time and don't try to get ahead of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I am in outpatient care with people that are much more hopeless than I am. Young people with their lives ahead of them that can't seem to find any hope for the future. I've come to care for them, it takes me out of myself to care for another person facing their own problems.
I have realized lately how much I have been isolated. I work from home and spent four weeks recovering from my surgery. It has been easy for me because I work from home so i could isolate from the world if I wanted, and I did. For five months now.
I've learned things in this program such as self compassion and how to be afraid and vulnerable, but also how to meditate and then face things that cause you anxiety in a responsible way. Now I have to use them as I begin the process of picking up the pieces of my life while stressful things like lawyer emails and fighting over money happen all around me.
Today I picked up a mantra that may help me forgive myself and deal with all the guilt I have for ruining my marriage:
You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time. You made mistakes but in your heart you meant well and never wanted to hurt anybody.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
I'm so happy to see the benefits this program is providing for you.
in 2013-2014, I thought the answer to my job woes were answered when I got a work from home job that I had been trying to get for 2 years. I figured the flexibility for my daughter would be priceless. Working in my sweats every day would be heaven.
Not so much. Without an adult coming home at night, I became extremely isolated. I sank into a depression. I thought I was going nuts. I was talking to Maury Povich on the TV everyday. It was bad. I got laid off 9 months in and was devastated for money reasons. But when I got my new job, I realized how much I needed the adult interaction.
Socializing with other adults is healthy and takes you out of your own head.
I bet you can be a great help to these people in your program. Maybe you all can show eachother hope for the future. That's pretty powerful
I'm still in a really dark place but I'm sort of using my time in this program as where I draw a line in the sand and say ok this is what is happening in my life right now. What can I do to make it better. im still overwhelmed and scared for the future, and I still kind of marvel at people I meet who say it's a year later or two years later and I'm so much happier now. That still seems difficult to imagine for me.
The people here, there's a lady who lost her husband who writes poetry, a girl who misses her family in China, a Ph.D. Student. There's a lady who had a breakdown at work and a guy who can't get over a woman who cheated on him ten years ago. I really can't do anything for them except be nice to them. What do I know about life.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
Outside of work I continue to work on iPhone apps. I have applied to incorporate my company and I spend all my time searching for revenue stats on apptopia. It's really become an obsession of mine to grow this business so that one day I don't have to work for anyone but myself. We can start posting our next set of apps once the LLC papers go through and the designer returns with app icons.
I hang on to this dream that maybe success and money will somehow make everything better, and it will in a lot of ways. Not all ways. If this company becomes successful one day I will look back and think it was born out of heartbreak but gave me some direction at a time when I was lost.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
Yeah I hear you. I feel like happiness is a lofty goal right now and I'm just trying to do something productive that may help me provide for my kids and maybe contribute to society.
Me-45, W-37, T-10 yrs, M-9 yrs D -7 yrs, S-5 yrs BD-5/3/16, D filed 6/8/16
